Monique said:
Did you ever -for an extended time- stay home to take care of the children, so that your wife could work? You don't have to answer, since it's a personal question, but I know no examples were the male works less hours than the female.
There were times when I did take days off from work to allow my wife to work or do programs (e.g., training or continuing education). And there were times when I could work from home.
I do know of one couple in which the woman works full time in a scientific career, which includes lots of travel to conferences, and the husband stays home. They were smart and invested in real estate, so the husband can work from home. I believe they have two children, and maybe a third.
My sister and sister-in-law are doctors, and they have had to make arrangements to provide care for their children, all of whom are adults. They and their husbands developed an arrangement that worked. My sister did bring in a nanny and later a 'domestic aid'. Having the money to do that obviously helps.
Having a wife/mom in a scientific career can work, but it takes a supportive husband/father.
D H said:
Yes, it does, but the old sociological norm that the female is supposed to be the more nurturing of the two still does hold to some extent.
More important are the biological factors. Fertility in females starts dropping at 35 and drops to near zero with menopause. A female who pursues a career in the hard sciences does compromise her ability to have a family. Alternatively, keeping open the possibility of having a family to some women means forgoing that career in the hard sciences. There are plenty of other career options that don't force that choice.
My wife and I started late. My kids were born when she was 37 and 40. We wonder if our choice is responsible for some (or all) of the complications.
My responses are in part to demonstrate that men often face the same issue when dealing societal and familial expectations. In my experience, societal influences, particuarly in one's academic program, are subtle, yet quite significant.
I've seen influences by parents, teachers, mentors, peers all play varying roles with different people.
The bottom line is that there is no firm or definitive gender-based intellectual difference that would make women less capable or determined regarding a career in science, engineering or technology. Rather, the issue seems largely circumstantial, i.e., it depends on one's circumstances.