A Strange Kind of Shame: A Heartbreaking Story of Compassion and Understanding

Thread starter Math Is Hard
Start date Aug 17, 2004
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SUMMARY

This discussion centers around the emotional turmoil experienced by an IT professional after learning of the death of a previously difficult colleague. The individual reflects on their past interactions, characterized by frustration and lack of compassion, particularly regarding the colleague's terminal illness. The conversation expands to include insights on the complexities of human behavior, judgment, and the impact of humor in sensitive situations, referencing the late French comedian Pierre Desproges as a case study in societal perceptions of illness and comedy.

PREREQUISITES

Understanding of workplace dynamics and interpersonal relationships
Familiarity with the psychological concepts of compassion and guilt
Knowledge of humor theory and audience sensitivity in comedy
Awareness of terminal illnesses and their effects on behavior

NEXT STEPS

Research the psychological effects of terminal illness on interpersonal relationships
Explore the role of humor in coping with grief and illness
Study the impact of workplace culture on employee interactions and mental health
Examine case studies of public figures, like Pierre Desproges, and their influence on societal attitudes towards illness

USEFUL FOR

This discussion is beneficial for professionals in human resources, mental health practitioners, and anyone interested in the nuances of workplace relationships and the psychology of compassion and judgment.

Aug 18, 2004

zoobyshoe

Math Is Hard said:

There really is an element in of that in there. It's like we never really trust that bad thoughts can't do damage to another person or another thing. It is probably especially hard for those of us who were brought up to say our prayers every night, basically to wish good things upon people we love. Of course it would seem natural that the opposite would work, and that we could send negative things rather than blessings. (even by accident)

Boy, you're right. I didn't even connect it to prayers when I suggested we learn it in childhood, but now that you mention it, that is probably where it gets reinforced the most: if praying for someone helps them, then it's natural to assume mental negativity toward them would have an authentic bad effect.

David Burns does an excercize with his cognitive therapy patients: he has them sit there and think bad thoughts about him for a while. At the end of it he always ends up just fine. They, however, may find themselves in a bad mood. Which demonstrates the point Ivan was making before: we are the ones who have to sit and listen to our negative thoughts. The other person is unaffected. It's usually not worth the stress.