A Strange Kind of Shame: A Heartbreaking Story of Compassion and Understanding

[zoobyshoe]

There really is an element in of that in there. It's like we never really trust that bad thoughts can't do damage to another person or another thing. It is probably especially hard for those of us who were brought up to say our prayers every night, basically to wish good things upon people we love. Of course it would seem natural that the opposite would work, and that we could send negative things rather than blessings. (even by accident)

Boy, you're right. I didn't even connect it to prayers when I suggested we learn it in childhood, but now that you mention it, that is probably where it gets reinforced the most: if praying for someone helps them, then it's natural to assume mental negativity toward them would have an authentic bad effect.

David Burns does an excercize with his cognitive therapy patients: he has them sit there and think bad thoughts about him for a while. At the end of it he always ends up just fine. They, however, may find themselves in a bad mood. Which demonstrates the point Ivan was making before: we are the ones who have to sit and listen to our negative thoughts. The other person is unaffected. It's usually not worth the stress.