A way to eat a beef patty without spilling the beef

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In summary, the conversation is about the best way to eat a beef patty without making a mess. Suggestions include cutting it up, wrapping it in an absorptive bun, eating lying down, and cooking it thoroughly to avoid any squeezable meat. Some people enjoy the juicy mess, but others caution against the potential dangers of licking the juices off oneself. The conversation also touches on different ways to prepare the patty, such as adding spices and flavorings directly into the meat.
  • #1
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1
Hi,

I was wondering if there are any scientific ways to eat a beef patty without having the hot beef inside spilling everywhere (ie. on myself) as I bite into it. I find that as I bite into one part of the beef patty the pressure from my biting will cause the hot beef inside to try to get out from the side of the opening and hence spilling not into my mouth, but onto other parts of my body.

Please enlighten me with your insights, thanks.
 
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  • #2
... cut it up first?
 
  • #3
Wrap it in something absorptive, like a bun?
 
  • #4
Clearly, this must be investigated by means of hydrodynamic computer simulations.

I submitted a proposal for funding and supercomputer time, and am currently awaiting a reply.
 
  • #5
The answer is obvious. Eat lying flat on your back, and gravity becomes your friend not your enemy.
 
  • #6
AlephZero said:
The answer is obvious. Eat lying flat on your back, and gravity becomes your friend not your enemy.

Oh well, there goes the paper I was hoping to publish.
 
  • #7
I must confess I find the replies to this thread slightly amusing.
I'd say that it's not your pressure from biting, but your pressure from squeezing the patty. Don't squeeze. Lightly grip.
Mind you, I'm vegetarian. :) Just thinking about the science here.
 
  • #8
It could be the recipee you use for your patty.
And the way you cook it.
And then the way you eat it.

Cook it well done. Hamberger meat should not be eaten raw.
Also, being thoroughly cooked, there should be no squeezable meat left in the patty to fall out the sides of your mouth or from the patty.

After cooking, lay the patty on a bun and add the garnishes such as relish, mustard and ketchup. You can add cheese, tomato slices and lettuce if you desire. Most people have a problem with the garnishes leaking out rather than the meat, so for that reason, I did conclude ,that you are eating a very much undercooked patty.

Eating a patty on its own, with no garnish or bun, is a personal choice, in which case it is custommary to place the patty on a plate and use a fork and knife to cut bite size pieces from the patty. This is commonly called a hamberger steak.

Ad for your recipee. Why not add the spices and flavouring right into the meat? Add some breadcrumbs for a less grainy texture and a whole egg to keep the mixture together while cooking and while eating.
 
  • #9
256bits said:
Cook it well done. Hamberger meat should not be eaten raw.
Also, being thoroughly cooked, there should be no squeezable meat left in the patty to fall out the sides of your mouth or from the patty.

From my experience of burgers in the UK (admittedly limited) I don't quite undestand this. There is usually nothing identifiable as "meat" at any stage in the manufacturing process.

Full disclosure: I've only eaten in a McDonalds once in my life. That was at about 4am on a Sunday morning in the middle of Amsterdam ... and the rest of that story would definitely be "too much information". BTW I mean Amsterdam, Holland, not one of the several Amsterdams in the US.
 
  • #10
I thought the 2nd best part of a hamburger was licking the juices off yourself after you're done...mmm...

But seriously, you can cut it up, pick the whole thing up with a napkin or the wrapper, or other things.
 
  • #11
Drakkith said:
I thought the 2nd best part of a hamburger was licking the juices off yourself after you're done...mmm...
Hey! People have died doing that.

Michael Hutchence of INXS...
Rev Gary Aldridge...
David Carradine...
 

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