Are You a Nerd? Check Out These Hilarious Nerd Jokes and Memes!

[Greg Bernhardt]

During a fight you throw a pair of dice (groaner?)

Got another one?

 

[fresh_42]

It was pretty boring in the cocktail bar this evening. Only a few guests, the music played In the army now and my friends were busy in a talk. I was bored. At the other end of the bar sat a couple and the female's top, if it could be called so, left little to imagine. So I reflected upon this manifold, its tangent spaces and the singularity in the middle, which this girl offered to be seen or divined.
(I'm still not sure, whether it's really a singularity ...)

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

when someone mentions java and coffee is the second thing that goes through your mind

 

[Janus]

"Flip-flops" doesn't bring up an image of footwear.

 

[strangerep]

It was pretty boring in the cocktail bar this evening. Only a few guests, the music played In the army now and my friends were busy in a talk. I was bored. At the other end of the bar sat a couple and the female's top, if it could be called so, left little to imagine. So I reflected upon this manifold, its tangent spaces and the singularity in the middle, which this girl offered to be seen or divined.
(I'm still not sure, whether it's really a singularity ...)

My familiarity with the experimental side of such research is limited, but I'm reasonably sure the singularity is somewhat further below the event horizon.

 

[Lisa!]

you consider yourself normal and the rest of the world weird.

 

[Ibix]

You carry an SA badge for expertise in a topic you studied (mostly) in your spare time?

 

[Janus]

You can explain what a Cartesian coordinate system is and know what a Cardassian is, but wouldn't recognize a Kardashian if you bumped into them on the street.

 

[fresh_42]

You can explain what a Cartesian coordinate system is and know what a Cardassian is, but wouldn't recognize a Kardashian if you bumped into them on the street.

Pun intended?

 

[fresh_42]

You cannot listened to (any!) politician without getting a rash.

 

[Electron Spin]

"Flip-flops" doesn't bring up an image of footwear.

wha' what tha'... And I thought I twaz' tha' only one!

Thank you Janus, Thank you for saving my miserable, flip flop'in,"JK'in", confused life! I owe you one!

Yours in deepest regards,
ES

 

[rootone]

You know you're a nerd if...

you love relational databases, but find relationship and dating sites scary.

 

[Larry Gopnik]

You know you're a nerd if...

... You're sat reading and posting in off topic discussion on a Physics Forum!

 

[fresh_42]

YAN ...

... if it always takes you two thoughts to understand what is meant when the news anchor uses the word conservative.

 

[cnh1995]

You know you're a nerd if ...you check this thread every time you log in and hit 'like' on almost every new post...

 

[Fervent Freyja]

You admire the writer's callus on your middle finger?

 

[George Jones]

... if even your somewhat nerdy significant other thinks that you're obsessed.

A few weeks my daughter's ringette team (like ice hockey, but with a different "puck") played in a tournament in another town. An official asked me "Would you open and close one of the penalty box doors during the next game?" He, continued "I'll be in there with you, but I'll be running the clock." After I agreed, my wife (who has degrees in both physics and engineering) interjected "Just don't let him read his physics while he is in there!"

 

[fresh_42]

... if even your somewhat nerdy significant other thinks that you're obsessed.

A few weeks my daughter's ringette team (like ice hockey, but with a different "puck") played in a tournament in another town. An official asked me "What you open and close one of the penalty box doors during the next game?" He, continued "I'll be in there with you, but I'll be running the clock." After I agreed, my wife (who has degrees in both physics and engineering) interjected "Just don't let him read his physics while he is in there!"

I have a feeling why they didn't offer you the clock management ...

 

[mfb]

I have a feeling why they didn't offer you the clock management ...

If he reads in there, time dilation should be negligible.

 

[jim hardy]

A girl asks you to carry her books and you ask "Where To ? "

 

[fresh_42]

A girl asks you to carry her books and you ask "Where To ? "

I once sat late in the evening at the bar in a cocktail bar, as all of a sudden the woman next to me, who was a complete stranger, asked me to pay attention to her purse while she went outside for some minutes ... - I know what you mean.

 

[dkotschessaa]

You still get upset thinking about the library of Alexandria.

 

[MsDeckard]

I started uni this year and still don't know where the bar is? Or is this just really dull...:(

 

[dkotschessaa]

I started uni this year and still don't know where the bar is? Or is this just really dull...:(

How about

"The only bars you car about are over vectors."

eh? eh? get it?

 

[Charles Link]

How about

"The only bars you car about are over vectors."

eh? eh? get it?

I think I can do even better=when a "contraction" is the difference between the time ordered and normal ordered second-quantized field operators instead of a woman going into labor. (Google Wick's theorem, etc. ) LOL

 

[fresh_42]

I think I can do even better=when a "contraction" is the difference between the time ordered and normal ordered second-quantized field operators instead of a woman going into labor. LOL

Life's really tough if you associate a kind of duality with every word that starts with co...

 

[Charles Link]

Life's really tough if you associate a kind of duality with every word that starts with co...

Google Wick's theorem. :-)

 

[fresh_42]

Google Wick's theorem. :-)

I don't want to publicly speak about secrets, but is there an internal competition among physicists under way about how many different indices (at least 8 in my count) and symbols (at least eight again) a single operator can carry?

 

[Charles Link]

I don't want to publicly speak about secrets, but is there an internal competition among physicists under way about how many different indices (at least 8 in my count) and symbols (at least eight again) a single operator can carry?

@fresh_42 A side item: Please read your messages/inbox. I included you in a conversation (about an hour ago) about an interesting integral I computed a few years ago. Would enjoy your feedback.

 

[Astronuc]

You still get upset thinking about the library of Alexandria.

I thought that made one worldly and cultured, or at least a history aficionado.

Google Wick's theorem. :-)

That's Wicked.