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Are you willing to change for social acceptance?

  1. Jan 11, 2007 #1
    Directly on the matter of physical appearance-how other people interpret you, judge you- to what extent are you willing to alter yourself to meet their approval? I ask this as I have a personal issue such that receives ridicule from some who feel the need to do so. It is something that I could change, through the work of modern medicine, yet I wonder why I would go to such extents to please the people I despise. I feel resolved to be myself yet I am bothered by what I am.
  2. jcsd
  3. Jan 11, 2007 #2


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    As long as you are in no risk of harm from these people, don't even give it a second thought.
  4. Jan 11, 2007 #3

    Math Is Hard

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    What are you?
  5. Jan 11, 2007 #4
    We all seek approval from others in some form or another. I want to not be bothered by people; not waste my mind with negative thoughts; not feel depressed at times, angry at others; not be posting this- that is the harm I suppose that is placed upon me.
  6. Jan 11, 2007 #5
    Are you saying that you just don't want to be self-conscious anymore?
  7. Jan 11, 2007 #6
    How old are you?
  8. Jan 12, 2007 #7
    I think it all depends on you, is it something you would like to live with for the rest of your life?
  9. Jan 12, 2007 #8
    I recognize that my difference is unusual and others I trust have concurred. When I rationally think about it I realize the matter is quite trivial, that is the actual physical issue itself. It is not my obsession with this difference, but rather what bothers me is how some people react to it.

    To think that if I changed myself here I would then go on to find something else problematic with my body is wrong. I am preoccupied by the reaction of others, not by my physical appearance.

    I am 23.
  10. Jan 12, 2007 #9

    Ivan Seeking

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    What is the risk to benefit ratio? What is the worst thing that could happen if you did this? How significant would this change be to your life?
  11. Jan 12, 2007 #10
    Is it a complicated procedure? How much would it cost financially?
  12. Jan 12, 2007 #11
    First question, what is it? This is the anonymous medium of the internet, I doubt anyone here would particularly be bothered judging by some of the freaky people that haunt PF:wink: :biggrin:

    If it's a minor physical blemish, or something obvious but not major, do what Ivan said: you could always try to overcome your insecurity about the issue as well, but it's your choice.
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2007
  13. Jan 12, 2007 #12


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    If it's something that you want to change, soley for the purpose of trying to stop people from ridiculing you, then no, you should not do it, whatever it is!

    However, if it's something you want to do for *you* and think it will give you more self confidence, or generally help you, then I wouldn't see a problem. Although, I can't be sure, since you haven't said what it is!
  14. Jan 12, 2007 #13


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    I subscribe to the philosophy of WYSIWYG. :biggrin:
  15. Jan 12, 2007 #14
    If I were bothered with peoples reactions to me, I would change myself. More so, if it were a easy fix, with minimum risk.
  16. Jan 12, 2007 #15
    If it's more than proper grooming, dress, or appropriate physical activity to ensure my health they could kiss all 4 cheeks and take all day doing it. If you aren't liked now, what makes you think they would like you if you changed? Some people just enjoy being able to manipulate others to their liking. :mad:
  17. Jan 12, 2007 #16


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    I wear glasses to make me look more clever.

    If I was a goth I'd change to go down the shops :tongue: :wink: :biggrin:
  18. Jan 12, 2007 #17

    Chi Meson

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    Hypothetical situation:

    If I had a mole on my face (which I actually do) that was large and unsightly (which it isn't), I think I would rather it was not there. I would opt for the simple surgical procedure to remove it.

    Such a "blemish" should not be misconstrued as a negative aspect of one's appearence, but in truth it is (even by those who mean well and think better than most). Such "blemishes" not negetives, but they are also not positives.

    If you don't like the way your hair looks, you can change it, and such cosmetic procedures are considered normal. The cumulative price of keeping you hair in a state that is "attractive" to other people (insert your own word for "attractive") is probably much greater than the cost of the single surgical procedure that takes care of minor "blemishes."

    ("blemish" is in quotes in an attempt to remove any negative sense associated with the word)

    Note, we still have no idea what the situation is.
  19. Jan 12, 2007 #18


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    When you interact with the world, you change. Either by experiences coming from being with people, reading, listening to music, etc... Taking what you liked from those interactions. This could affect your style, expectations, etc...

    If you feel you would want that changed, then go for it (although i don't know how risky the procedure is, else it'll depend on what you consider a risk). If you want to change something, because someone else is telling you to, don't go for it. You'll probably end up regretting the change.
  20. Jan 12, 2007 #19

    Chi Meson

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    After re-reading the OP, I'm assuming that it is not minor surgery, but medication that would remedy the condition. This makes the matter a bit more cloudy for me, since it would require an ongoing chemical modification. I'd really need more information in order to give an opinion of any validity.
  21. Jan 12, 2007 #20
    The issue is "excessive" hair on my face. I have had blood tests done and there is no problem internally. The issue is fine, not really long only a few mm, somewhat dense hair on my cheeks and temples. I can shave it but it makes it look worse and waxing it makes it grow in faster, thicker. For reasons unknown to me at times it gets worse than others.

    The procedure involves a laser and burning the hair follicle. It would cost maybe 2,000 total (I don't really care about this so much). The possible side effects are scarring, though rare, and it may not even work altogether. Another thing I learned is that recent research has determined hair cells play an important role in healing damaged skin tissue.

    The "problem" began my second year of college and I really am quite disappointed and embarrassed by the some in the human race. When you get people snickering at you or making comments just loud enough for you to hear, is it very difficult. I don't take it as bad now as I once did, but it still bothers me. I am an otherwise attractive, athletic person with this on top of it, maybe making it more humorous for some.

    A few responses have stated I should divorce myself from them. But I think this will make me more disenchanted, and troubled in the end since it really is impossible to ignore or block out the issue, without disassociating from reality.

    I probably should talk to a professional but I can't really afford it. Thanks for reading anyway.
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