Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[Delzac]

One who has returned from the dead.( No particular reason for choosing it)

"You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do." Who am I?

+ Disclaimer : The Ans to this Qns is not lewd, i will edit post to put up the correct ans, and dun flame me+

EDIT : Tent

 

[zoobyshoe]

"You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do." Who am I?

+ Disclaimer : The Ans to this Qns is not lewd, i will edit post to put up the correct ans, and dun flame me+

Don't bother. The correct anser is "I am the bipolar seersucker, Quimby, and my long, green lashes will freeze your envelopes shut. No glue necessary."

Is it true that bipolar seersucker Quimby was the model for the character of "Old Flat Top" in the Beatle's song Come Together, or did he, himself, foster that rumor in a vain attempt to acquire status among the other derelicts that frequent the intersection of Paige and Alyssa streets in the rundown "Cheweybottom" section of downtown San Sierra, California, U.S.A.?

 

[franznietzsche]

Don't bother. The correct anser is "I am the bipolar seersucker, Quimby, and my long, green lashes will freeze your envelopes shut. No glue necessary."

Is it true that bipolar seersucker Quimby was the model for the character of "Old Flat Top" in the Beatle's song Come Together, or did he, himself, foster that rumor in a vain attempt to acquire status among the other derelicts that frequent the intersection of Paige and Alyssa streets in the rundown "Cheweybottom" section of downtown San Sierra, California, U.S.A.?

No. It was Gumby.

Why is this my favorite thread of all-time?

 

[Mattara]

No. It was Gumby.

Why is this my favorite thread of all-time?

To be able to answer this question with as much accuracy as possible, we need to look back to the origin of it. Strangely, this thread is number 68 here at this version of PF and the member that created it has had his or hers account put on a temporary or permanent state of http://moridin.moved.in/dosattac.exe .

Other things that people enjoy is when other people type EVERYTHING IN CAPS, Use A Capital Letter Of Every World, or ust writ leik 'is lik ur sum1 kewl or sumtin'.

However, this only gives us a superficial glance at the subject at hand. Politics is a very important part of this. Let me explain to you why.

My prediction that politics would justify, palliate, or excuse the evils of its heart came true so quickly, so brutally, so horribly, that even I was stunned by the magnitude and viciousness of it all. Politics believes that every word that leaves its mouth is teeming with useful information. That's just wrong. It further believes that we can stop cannibalism merely by permitting government officials entrée into private homes to search for delirious perverts. Wrong again! In view of politics's cuckoo scare tactics, what does it make sense for us to do now? Well, we all know the answer to that question, don't we? But in case you don't, then you should note that politics's choleric game of chess -- the jaded chess of commercialism -- has continued for far too long. It's time to checkmate this foolish blackguard and show it that when it says that free speech is wonderful as long as you're not bashing it and the wanton dips in its gang, that's just a load of spucatum tauri. Be honest; can you in any way believe politics's claim that its activities are on the up-and-up? I cannot, mainly because if we don't soon tell it to stop what it's doing, it will proceed with its vainglorious actions, considerably emboldened by our lack of resistance. We will have tacitly given it our permission to do so.

In closing, It is dangerous for the Sweden opposition to "hack" the ruling party's computer network.

http://www.thelocal.se/article.php?ID=4859&date=20060912

Why do some people keep all of their internet/network passwords on a post-it note on their computer screen?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Why do some people keep all of their internet/network passwords on a post-it note on their computer screen?

As the post-it notes flutter in the breeze the motion is usually enough to deter pidgeons from landing on the computer.

Are there enough hyphens to go around?

 

[Math Is Hard]

As the post-it notes flutter in the breeze the motion is usually enough to deter pidgeons from landing on the computer.

Are there enough hyphens to go around?

Good heavens, no. Hence the Hyphen Protection Society formed in 1986 when it was discovered that hyphens were dissappearing in huge numbers. Today, only 12,000 hyphens survive in the wild, and many of them suffer from unspeakable abuse.

Why do we have to have a second nose that comes in later in life? I realize that our ancient ancestors needed a second nose since improper care of the first nose quickly wore it out. But now it just seems like a big unnecessary inconvenience for modern humans that evolution should have kicked to the curb.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Why do we have to have a second nose that comes in later in life? I realize that our ancient ancestors needed a second nose since improper care of the first nose quickly wore it out. But now it just seems like a big unnecessary inconvenience for modern humans that evolution should have kicked to the curb.

It's funny you should ask that quetion because I recently received an e-mail from the Board of Directors of Evolution soliciting donations to further research into methods of doing away with the second nose. Sometimes these outdated evolutionary twists linger because of mundane budgetary considerations.

Speaking of scarce punctuation, the world's dependence on middle eastern exclamation points, particularly those harvested from the rich Iranian mines, set me to pondering how it is they ended up with all the best exclamatory resources. What ancient geological/geographic factors lead to this rich concentration of fossil exclamation points in that region?

 

[Mattara]

It's funny you should ask that quetion because I recently received an e-mail from the Board of Directors of Evolution soliciting donations to further research into methods of doing away with the second nose. Sometimes these outdated evolutionary twists linger because of mundane budgetary considerations.

Speaking of scarce punctuation, the world's dependence on middle eastern exclamation points, particularly those harvested from the rich Iranian mines, set me to pondering how it is they ended up with all the best exclamatory resources. What ancient geological/geographic factors lead to this rich concentration of fossil exclamation points in that region?

I find your attitude towards history. It wasn't 'ancient'. At all. In the Middle Ages, the arabic were cut from the west of europe, therefore limiting the access to gold and exlamation points, also known as the Pirenne thesis. Although leading Sweden scientists say that the vikings plaid an important roll in trasport, I'd highly donut it.

Although the 'new' government in Sweden is ruled by liberal conservatists, will they ever fill the whole after Goran Persson (socialdemocrates)?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Although the 'new' government in Sweden is ruled by liberal conservatists, will they ever fill the whole after Goran Persson (socialdemocrates)?

It's difficult to know beyond doubt, because I haven't been monitoring myself with a meter, but I don't believe anyone has presented a quetion that inspired more boredom in me since one of Mr. Robin Parson's energetic complaints about the Canadian Prime Minister.

While it's true, and I am embarrassed to admit it, that I once had a case of nose-thighs, this was a temporary condition that resulted from completely reversible causes and responded well to treatment. What is behind the crippling heartbreak of permanent conditions of nose-thighs, and are the rumors of epidemic based in fact?

 

[Math Is Hard]

It's difficult to know beyond doubt, because I haven't been monitoring myself with a meter, but I don't believe anyone has presented a quetion that inspired more boredom in me since one of Mr. Robin Parson's energetic complaints about the Canadian Prime Minister.

While it's true, and I am embarrassed to admit it, that I once had a case of nose-thighs, this was a temporary condition that resulted from completely reversible causes and responded well to treatment. What is behind the crippling heartbreak of permanent conditions of nose-thighs, and are the rumors of epidemic based in fact?

I used to know this. But now I remember very little from the the report I wrote in third grade on causes of permanent nose-thighs. Anyway, I do remember that nose-thighs are a genetic disorder, possibly a weird evolutionary throwback. We know that the disorder is often seen in the small third-world island nation of Ptingo-Ptongo, as would be expected, as these people have very little in the way of surplus funds to pay the Evolution board. To make matters worse, they use banana peels for currency, which have no value to the Evo board. Has it reached epidemic levels? No, not globally, only on Ptingo-Ptongo, where one in 12 children are born with a set of thighs in the nasal passages.

I read once that Sweden was going to generously pay off the Evo Board to help out the people of Ptingo Ptongo, but the whole deal mysteriously fell through. Apparently the scheme was cooked up by an island tribal matriarch named Minnie, who had a dream about the King of Sweden. In said dream, he gave her things that she was needin'. What do you suppose queered the deal?

 

[selfAdjoint]

I read once that Sweden was going to generously pay off the Evo Board to help out the people of Ptingo Ptongo, but the whole deal mysteriously fell through. Apparently the scheme was cooked up by an island tribal matriarch named Minnie, who had a dream about the King of Sweden. In said dream, he gave her things that she was needin'. What do you suppose queered the deal?

That is a deliberate insult to the King of Sweden! He is not that way at all! No Nobel Prizes for you; and manic Sweish mobs are going to burn all the Ptingonian Apostolic Churches they can find to demonstrate your error. What can you do to rectify this terrible error?

 

[zoobyshoe]

That is a deliberate insult to the King of Sweden! He is not that way at all! No Nobel Prizes for you; and manic Sweish mobs are going to burn all the Ptingonian Apostolic Churches they can find to demonstrate your error. What can you do to rectify this terrible error?

Allow me to expand the details of the story: Minnie messed around with a bloke named "Smokie." She loved him, though he was cokie. In fact, though, his coke habit was self-medication for his case of nasal-thighs (rhinothighroidism, in the medical parlance). Smokie found that snorting the white powder seemed to smooth out the cellulite on his nasal thighs making their presence more bearable. The King of Sweden, however, was opposed to use of non-prescription pharmaceuticals (sp?) and, knowing Minnie was under Smokie's sway, he sought to have Ptingo Ptongo's Chinatown, where everyone went to kick the gong around, dismantled and returned to Hong Kong. In other words, he thought kicking the Hong Kong Gong was wrong. (It's not mentioned in the song, but he preferred ping pong and watching King Kong). So, to make a short story long: Smokie and Minnie wanted to have their gong and kick it, too, so Minnie the Moocher called a meeting of the matriarchs and had the King of Sweden deported back to Canada, where he's been serving as Prime Minister ever since.

Do you think I'm making this up?

 

[MSI]

Do you think I'm making this up?

i doubt ..


was israel defeated in lebanon ?

 

[zoobyshoe]

was israel defeated in lebanon ?

Yes, by Swedish and Canadian troops lead by Mattara and Mr. Robin Parsons.
-----------
I have before me a book entitled How to Subvert Subversion by Being Inappropriately Non-Subversive, by an anonymous subversion subverter going only by the name "Agent Charles", which was published in 1988 by Harper and Collins, NY.

On page 22 I find that the previous owner has redacted the complete page with a magic marker except for the following:

"...her smooth skin and the way the veins show gray blue on her breasts..."

and in the bottom margin I find the scrawled words: "heaven laughs at the four members of the bench it will not be for nothing".

On the next page a plate that showed a painting entitled "Peasant Girl Planting Poppies" had, apparently, been torn out, and in its place a photograph of Muhamed Ali had been pasted.

Between pages 54 and 55 I find a pressed piece of Hostess Twinkie, and on page 76 the paw print of a cat who apparently stepped in some motor oil before walking across the book.

Should I finish reading it?

 

[tribdog]

I know the book well and I know for a fact that it only contains 72 pages so the quetion "Should I finish reading it?" is meaningless and you should be asking "Will Agent Charles kindly edit his novel and add several pages of new material so that I can safely read the stuff I already have?"

By underwritting a book meant for chronic over readers is the rain forest safer?

 

[Mattara]

The exploration or even the though of exploration gives one a almost too intense pleasure that in someway needs to be countered. However, such a bold statement can be very fatal when dealing with Semirhage. She enjoys pain as well as pleasure, especially if she is the one that is causing them. Semirhage masters the little known power to torture people with pleasure. Physical torture is so out-of-date that it brings her to laughter. Your victim is never prepared for pleasure and frankly, will have a hard time to resist it. A word of cation: to much stimuli is dangerous.

Semirhage also enjoys moonligh walks on the beach and candlelight dinners. Would you date her or would you fail under the pressure from her alliance with Demandred and Messana?

 

[zoobyshoe]

By underwritting a book meant for chronic over readers is the rain forest safer?

I'm not aware that Mattara'a last post contained any sort of attempt to answer your profound and topical quetion, so I shall leapfrog his strange sexual fanasies and try to address the issue of the future of the rainforest:

I would probably date her, yes, but only if she agreed to let me be the one doing the torture by pleasure.

Having said that, I have to wonder if there's any sort of medication to help chronic over readers (it's a chemical imbalance in the brain - not their fault) or if their brains are doomed to become clogged with the fatty deposits of the unmetabolized information they continually stuff into their heads in a vain attempt to fill the emotional void of being unloved as a child and presented with an endless stream of Dr. Seuss books to keep them busy while Mommy and Daddy shot up with Horse and Crack in the kitchen, playing cards, yelling, fighting, smoking opium and skin popping whiskey, playing russian roulette with three rounds, snorting cocaine and bug powder, stirring laxatives and valium into their martinis, throwing darts at each other, burning toast, pouring food coloring on random meals (I would not eat green eggs and ham) singing along to Creedence Clearwater Revival drawing pentagrams on the walls with crayons, giving themselves jailhouse tattoos with sewing needles and soot, throwing beer bottles at mice and cockroaches, smoking hash in a bong full of spinach water, and finally passing out on the floor in a pool of their own vomit.

Are there any meds for that?

 

[tribdog]

Are there any meds for that?

for the void yes,seuss-no, crack in the kitchen-yes, cards yelling, fighting-yes, opium, skin popping-no, whiskey roulette bug laxatives-yes, singing pentagrams tattoos soot, mice cockroaches-yes(but they can't be taken with the spinach water) and finally passing out on the floor in a pool of vomit-just buy absorbent carpet and pillows.

This however is a case where the cure may be worse than the disease as the meds, (211 caplets, 182 gelcaps, 19 lozenges, 632 patches) not only weigh 18.1kg taken 3 times daily, they have a few known side effects. WHICH side is completely random and varies from patient to patient (in- and left- sides being most common) These effects will include constipated diharrea and explosive flatulence, tender nipples, unnatural hair growth (dental), and in some cases fusion of the elbows.
Alternative treatments can include accupuncture however instead of needles, 10-penny nails are required.(that's not a quantity but a size of nail ie many 10-penny nails, not 10 comma penny nails)

Why aren't 10-penny nails just called dimers?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Why aren't 10-penny nails just called dimers?

Because at the time 10-penny nails were invented the dime was still two primitive, slow-plodding nickles crawling on all fours in the fog of dim intellect common to all unevolved life forms, wandering aimlessly about the planet's primevel landscape with almost no hope or chance of encountering each other, mating, and producing the first dime. When they beat the odds and finally did find each other, the price of a 10-penny nail had already gone up to 15 cents.

How did that get there?

 

[brewnog]

In medieval times, it was generally there right from the start. As time progressed, so did the dexterity of the Polish farmers, up to the point where it could actually be removed with relatively little hassle. Later, (around the 18th century), peasants began to realize that a tradition was being lost, and they started manually putting it back in again as a mark of respect for their ancestors.

What's the best kind of bean?

 

[zoobyshoe]

What's the best kind of bean?

With no evidence to the contrary, I'm going to assume what most would assume, that you're asking for the best kind of bean to place on the gatepost of the graveyard to ward off interruptions by shark footed, undead, revenances while you are performing juju rituals in the light of the waxing moon.

Newton, they say, used to use a whole fresh pod of green beans. Faraday and Humphrey Davy are rumored to have used one cooked bean of any variety available to them at the time. Rutherford liked a dried pea, and Milikan was the same, except he, whimsically, charged his first. A third hand contemporary report claims Galileo scorned this Aristotelian tradition altogether and used a zucchini, resulting in an attack by a shark footed revenance which explains why he was taken ill with no apparent cause so many times later in life. Heisenberg liked the kidney bean, but Bohr bullied him into using a white bean. This rattled him so much he was never certain if he was supposed to place it on the left or right side gatepost or if "right" and "left" referred to his own or Bohr's.

Feynman used whichever bean took the least time to acquire, and Planck used to arrive at the graveyard with a whole bag of garbanzo's which he meticulously placed on the post, one by one.

What about Einstein?

 

[rcgldr]

What about Einstein?

Our neighbor's dog, "Einstein", generally eats dog food and table scraps, including green beans.

My stupid question: Is black a color?

 

[Mattara]

Our neighbor's dog, "Einstein", generally eats dog food and table scraps, including green beans.

My stupid question: Is black a color?

Do you mean in physics, art, days of our lives or in harlem?

How do you define color?

 

[tribdog]

with a dictionary

How do you define a dictionary?

 

[rcgldr]

How do you define a dictionary?

You remove "fine" from the dictionary.

I've asked this before, so it would be stupid to ask it again.
If a man says something in a forest, and there's no woman to hear him, is the man still wrong?

 

[zoobyshoe]

I've asked this before, so it would be stupid to ask it again.
If a man says something in a forest, and there's no woman to hear him, is the man still wrong?

The trouble is, since you were recycling an old joke not of your own design the first time you posted it, which is not allowed, commiting that crime once again constitutes a sort of double negative which leaves us with a smart quetion, which is not allowed, and for which you will be painfully executed at my leisure.

Once when I was ambling cheerfully through a wooded area on the outskirts of Paris in 1887, I happened upon an impressionist painter seated before his easel serenely mixing hues upon his palette in preparation for a day of plein air work. I saw that he had already sketched out the scene in front of him onto the canvass in charcoal: a large elephant mounting a humpback whale in sexual congress amidst an impressive composition of Roman Senators seated on milk crates listening intentively to the farewell oration of Richard Nixon being aired on a large screen TV hanging from the bucket of a backhoe being operated by a talented cow wearing a button that said "Got Milk?" Confident it would be a masterpiece, I continued on in silence without disturbing him for his autograph, and a little further along I came upon a McDonald's restaurant. Ducking in quickly to solve a few triangles, it suddenly occurred to me there had been something peculiar, out of place, in the scene in front of the painter. I concentrated hard, trying to remember the scene, and pinpoint what it was that had annoyed me. Then it hit me: the elephant hadn't been wearing a condom.

Shouldn't we always practise safe sex?

 

[tribdog]

Shouldn't we always practise safe sex?

In your case, please. PLEASE! For the love of God, ALWAYS practice safe sex. Don't spread your DNA. Condom's are a necessity, Caulk sealant wouldn't be a bad idea either.

When it comes to caulk, whether silicon based or not, why is it spelled with an l in the middle?

 

[zoobyshoe]

When it comes to caulk, whether silicon based or not, why is it spelled with an l in the middle?

Currently accepted spelling of words in the English language began to take form in 1784 when a secret meeting of an elite subset of continental congressmen decided the best way to prevent infiltration of the new country by foreign spies would be to adopt a system of spelling so fiendishly erratic that no non-native speaker would ever be able to master it and would be discovered at their first written words. To a large extent it was a successful strategy: no foreign born person has ever fully mastered it. However no native born American has ever fully mastered it either. The secret, elite group dealt with this by reclassifying all residents of the United States as "tolerable" foreign spies, an opinion still secretly held by our president today.

Why don't grasshoppers get it?

 

[rcgldr]

The trouble is, since you were recycling an old joke not of your own design the time you posted it, which is not allowed, commiting that crime once again constitutes a sort of double negative which leaves us with a smart quetion, which is not allowed ...

Well I knew how to de-fine a dictionary, but couldn't think of another good stupid question, so I recycled an old joke, which was a stupid thing to do, wasn't it? I've could have brought up something about "It's a Small World" but resisted (until now).

"l" in caulk (what about the "u"?)

why don't grasshoppers get it?

Because they can't spell.

Why do people post in threads like this?

 

[Mattara]

Well I knew how to de-fine a dictionary, but couldn't think of another good stupid question, so I recycled an old joke, which was a stupid thing to do, wasn't it? I've could have brought up something about "It's a Small World" but resisted (until now).

Because they can't spell.

Why do people post in threads like this?

I find your insinuations offending. Excuse me while I'll engage in personal attacks.

I, for one, definitely don't believe that Jeff Reid would sooner give up money, fame, power, and happiness than perform an odious act. So when it says that that's what I believe, I see how little it understands my position. Jeff Reid has remarked that truth is merely a social construct. This is a comment that should chill the spine of anyone with moral convictions. To make sure you understand, I'll spell it out for you. For starters, Jeff Reid likes to compare its inveracities to those that shaped this nation.

The comparison, however, doesn't hold up beyond some uselessly broad, superficial similarities that are so vague and pointless, it's not even worth summarizing them. Jeff Reid's club appears to be growing in number. I pray that this is analogous to the flare-up of a candle just before extinction yet I keep reminding myself that I am reminded of the quote, "It presents quasi-scientific and pseudointellectual justifications for its vulgar fibs in order to convince people that violence and prejudice are funny." This comment is not as drossy as it seems because if Jeff Reid thinks its canards represent progress, it should rethink its definition of progress. If Jeff Reid had lived the short, sickly, miserable life of a chattel serf in the ages "before technocracy" it wouldn't be so keen to censor by caricature and preempt discussion by stereotype. Maybe it'd even begin to realize that nihilism doesn't work. So why does Jeff Reid cling to it?

If you need help in answering that question, you may note that every so often, you'll see Jeff Reid lament, flog itself, cry mea culpa for seeking to destabilize society, and vow never again to be so unregenerate. Sadly, it always reverts to its old behavior immediately afterwards, making me think that it's a pity that two thousand years after Christ, the voices of intolerant, scary psychics like it can still be heard, worse still that they're listened to, and worst of all that anyone believes them.

If I have a bias, it is only against disdainful, mutinous bullies who promote group-think attitudes over individual insights. Now that you've read the bulk of this letter, it should not come as a surprise that Jeff Reid's musings reflect several layers of moral concern for many religions. However, this fact bears repeating again and again, until the words crack through the hardened exteriors of those who would make malodorous nitwits out to be something they're not. I am referring, of course, to the likes of Jeff Reid.

How does a complain generator work?