Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[Mattara]

Well I assume that by "naked" you mean "dekan" which sort of reminds me of the head of a college. If you have a couple of fig leaves your measurement is not that accurate, you need more than a few fig leaves to get it accurate. I guess that would be kicked out of college for that.

What is college?

 

[Livingod]

if by "college" you mean "glue," it is the adhesive material that you may sniff for pleasure (warning: may cause you to see dragons) and waste by smearing it between two objects to stick them together.

Having said that, I have no idea what "college" is, thus, using my wonderful speechcraft, I effortlessly changed the subject. So what is "college" really?

 

[jimmie]

So what is "college" really?

College is where one is constantly reminded of the differences between a quetion and an anser to that quetion, enabling the individual to first: provide an anser to a stupid quetion, and second, ask a stupid quetion that requires a stupid anser, respectively.

I've always wondered: is it possible for an individual to know the differences between a stupid quetion and a stupid anser if they do not have tuition for college but have intuition?

 

[madcat11]

I dunno. Should it be 'Don't you hate it when that happens?

The Bob (2004 ©)

no, I only hate it when sh*t happens (fill in the asterisk..)

Is asterisk fillling ever used in cooking?

 

[Livingod]

I've always wondered: is it possible for an individual to know the differences between a stupid quetion and a stupid anser if they do not have tuition for college but have intuition?

It's not so important as to have intuition, but one must BE intuition. For, if one is out of tuition, they won't be offered a quetion, needless to mention.


When will a**holes posting here learn to read instructions? (fill in the asterisks...)

 

[jimmie]

When will a**holes posting here learn to read instructions? (fill in the asterisks...)

Antholes do not pose a threat. It's the colonies of antholians therein that I am wary of.

Speaking of democracy, does constantly having to deal with parasitic-like entities bug you?

 

[Livingod]

This issue has been leeching on me for decades. We've had a mosquito problem back in the day, yet the problem itches to be solved to this day. At the time, we made the temporary and rash, yet effective desicion to utilize bug spray. But nowadays, that solution has become a real pest. The common household mosquito exposed to the spray eventually develops immunities to such bothers. Those buggers develop huge biceps, you know, real fly and sh*t. They get all the girls too, with their muscles, and their intricate web of lies. While the male human population sits around at home with nothing more than hand lotion by our side. (Pardon the language...) That's the reason I left that hellhole of a village, overrun by mosquitoes as it is, and moved here to New York. Here, you don't need bug spray to kill mosquitoes, a BMW or a Ferrari will do. And the best part: no one can be immune to five hundred horses slamming into your rear end as you fly around trying to find even somethign that looks like a tree.Whew, that got the best of me. Now as for the rest of me:
Speaking of pots, puns, pans, and the such, how long does it take you to cook an egg sunny side up? (Mine never separate from the pan)

 

[Math Is Hard]

Speaking of pots, puns, pans, and the such, how long does it take you to cook an egg sunny side up? (Mine never separate from the pan)

If you are like Hamhiu, you cook it until it takes on a shape that holds symbolic meaning for you.
https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=119593 A bit more time is then required to plan your day around what the egg has foretold.

My 1/3 Ukranian great-grandmother did fried-egg reading back in the great depression years, when tea leaves were scarce. She also did divination with bacon grease, toast crust and jelly splatters. But granny never accepted money for using her powers, there was only one thing she would accept in return for telling a person's fortune. That was, that was.. shoot! what WAS that?

 

[Livingod]

Well, seeing as how being 1/3 of any nationality is impossible, but then again, so is naming a wooden puppet Pinoccio and watching it come alive, but people tell that story anyway. So my best guess would be that she would accept to "be a real boy" but in this case it would be to be a real great-granny which would mean that if someone wanted a reading, they would have to marry her granddaughter (a.k.a. your mother) and have a child. Assuming that the child is you, then your father must have gotten a reading from your great granny.

Now there is one thing that has not been cleared up: What did your father see in his fortune?

 

[Danger]

is it possible for an individual to know the differences between a stupid quetion and a stupid anser if they do not have tuition for college but have intuition?

A 'stupid quetion' is self-explanatory. A 'stupid anser' is a 'silly goose', but the term has gone out of common usage.


I'm not really playing this, but I couldn't let that go by.

 

[Livingod]

With its nonsensical posts and many twists and turns that we forgot what the last quetion was, this thread has started to be like a FOX reality show. Let's refresh everyone's memory one more time:

Now there is one thing that has not been cleared up: What did your father see in his fortune?


P.S. Newcomers, READ THE FIRST PAGE FOR THE RULES AND INSTRUCTIONS FOR THIS THREAD!11111111112

 

[Math Is Hard]

What my father saw was a vision of three Chinese dumplings on a plate, and as he reached for the first one it said, "If you eat me, you will be smart but not wise", so he hesitated, and reached for the second one. It said, "If you eat me, you will be wise but not smart". Again he hesitated, but then he reached for the third one and it said, "If you eat me, you will be neither smart nor wise, but the pretty waitress will go home with you, and she will make you delicious dumplings for the rest of your life."

Which did he choose?

 

[Danger]

P.S. Newcomers, READ THE FIRST PAGE FOR THE RULES AND INSTRUCTIONS FOR THIS THREAD!

I'm not a newcomer; I just don't like to colour inside the lines.

 

[Livingod]

Which did he choose?

With the help of soy sauce, he devoured all three with ease. Now what did your smart and witty father do with the waitress at his house? (Or was that waitress your mother? )

 

[jimmie]

What is the most healthy food you eat?

That which is yet to be picked.

Speaking of noses, how large was the margin of victory at the Kentucky Derby?

 

[Math Is Hard]

That which is yet to be picked.

Speaking of noses, how large was the margin of victory at the Kentucky Derby?

They don't use margarine at the Kentucky Derby, only butter.

Why should one Cherchez la femme?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Why should one Cherchez la femme?

Because if no one finds her she'll wander around the mall shopping till her credit card's maxed out.

At this point it would be natural for me to begin a stupid quetion with the phrase "Speaking of lost women..." however, due to technical difficulties with the zoobie brush server the lost women page cannot be found, and instead I must link you to the stolen laundry listings on e-bay where all Math Is Hard's former garments may be purchased at a fraction of their original price.

As we wait for the bids to climb, who can explain why no one's ever heard of the 7th Marx brother, Alpo?

 

[jimmie]

As we wait for the bids to climb, who can explain why no one's ever heard of the 7th Marx brother, Alpo?

In the dog-eat-dog world of entertainment, Alpo, the only un-trained brother, was too rough around the edges for depression-era schtick, and thus, was fed his walking papers, one at a time, sans gravy.

Speaking of training, what was the quickest way to get from point A to point B at the year 1903?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Speaking of training, what was the quickest way to get from point A to point B at the year 1903?

You're refering, of course, to the twin cities Point Allstead and Point Ballbrick, Idaho, affectionately known to their residents as Point A and Point B. It was frequently pointed out that the shortest route between them, straight across Lake Short, was not also the quickest route, except in the case of Sam Green, who could row faster than anyone else in the county. For most, the quickest route was by galloping horse over the south lake trail, except in the case of Martha Weston's old, strange pony, Cindy, who had only three legs and was fixed up with a stout oak replacement for the forth. Cindy, understandably, didn't gallop very fast, but people were amazed she could gallop at all.

Anyway, in 1904 Point B was completely destroyed by arson fires started by a crazed spurned lover who'd gotten into a keg of rum, and the notion of the quickest route from Point A to Point B became moot since no one had any reason to go to Point B anymore. Cindy the horse, incidentally, outlived her owner by ten years. Her new owner, Matt Jensen, was astonished after he adopted her, to find her coat grow out into black and white stripes. It seems Cindy was actually a zebra that Martha Weston had been surreptitiously dyeing to look like a brown pony. No one could make heads or tails of that.

Whatever happened to Jane Wilcox, the girl who so callously spurned the drunken arsonist?

 

[jimmie]

Whatever happened to Jane Wilcox, the girl who so callously spurned the drunken arsonist?

Possibly due to the fact that she callously rejected the new collective bargaining agreement for thousands of firefighters, she got fired. Investigators are trying to determine if the two incidents are related.

Speaking of old flames, where's your ex?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Speaking of old flames, where's your ex?

Hmmm. Arrrgh. Due, I suppose, to the fact I'm not a stalker, I couldn't tell you.

Recently when I was posting on an internet forum Arrrgh a message suddenly appeared on the screen saying that a critical security Arrrgh update intended to prevent my computer from catching the Arrrgh Pirate Worm had just been Arrgh refused by my machine Arrgh indicating it was already infiltrated.

How Arrrgh do you get rid of Arrrgh The Pirate Worm?

 

[jimmie]

How Arrrgh do you get rid of Arrrgh The Pirate Worm?

Give him a bottle of Mezcal and he'll eventually crawl to the bottom and pass-out.

Speaking of passing-out, where did all this make-up come from?

 

[Mattara]

Speaking of passing-out, where did all this make-up come from?

Make/-up/-out etc. is actually the trivial name of the phenomena, as in "you are living in a world of make-believe" or "do you want to make-out with me?". The systematic name however, is not even close both in etymology and common sense.

The reason for the huge debate about the subject during that last couple of years has mainly dealt with if it is ethical or non-ethical to continue the cruel and unscrupulous experiments. I do not dare to say what the true nature of these experiments were ( or is (?) ) out of fear for repercussions from the project's Administration. During my hidden visits, I have also noticed some shadow characters moving around the main research facility. No one seems to notice them like I do, but sometimes just sometimes, I see them interact with the others out of other reasons than to correct them in their quests for knowledge.

It is very strange indeed, how they seem to be able to move from one place of the complex to another in just a couple of seconds. Their speed is amazing. Sometimes I even see them enter a special part. I cannot see excatly where it is located or what is inside. Nevertheless, I suspect that it is important; maybe it is the heart of the compound where only upper-level personal have access to.

I've seen just a glimpse of the front of them, but all I could see was some sort of badge below their...faces...It was dark, but I could distinguish the first couple of letters. They were: M E N T... but then I lost sight of it.

Who are these shadow characters, where did them come from but perhaps more interesting; what do they want?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Who are these shadow characters, where did them come from but perhaps more interesting; what do they want?

They crawled from the febrile dreams of barn owls perishing of bird flu and they want the nail clippings from your middle toe on the left foot.

Speaking of lost women, once when I was crawling on all fours home from La Souris Perdue, café, and home for broken, misfit toys, reveling in the amazing anguish only a woman can produce in me, I stumbled over what at first appeared to be half of The Black Dahlia but which turned out to be a freshly trimmed forked tree limb. Not much more to report about that.

Yet, on the subject of The Blue Scorpion, how did such a skinny woman get outfitted with such a large rack?

 

[Mattara]

Yet, on the subject of The Blue Scorpion, how did such a skinny woman get outfitted with such a large rack?

It is very interesting that you should mention that as a matter of fact. I have yet to date not found ant solution or even comment to the issue.

This is only my personal theory, but one might speculate that it might not be as obvious as it appears to be. Conspiracy theories aside, it must be due to Operation Protegus. Although any digital records of the actions that took place during the warm and intense couple of days have been wiped out, there are still those few people among us that do remember. I am one of them.

The goal of Operation Protegus was initially the capture and execution of a high-ranking government official in Southern Kambodja. However, the real agenda would be revealed a week later. It came with gruesome retaliations from both the Kambojan special forces and domestic hategroup known as the Black Serpents. Little did we know at the time but it turned out that they had a contingency plan as well.

RACK or Rendezvou-Affiliate-Cendra-Known was the code name for our meating with the beautiful and voluptuous (or skinny as zoobyshoe put it) "Cendra". We knew this was not her real name but she was a valued informant from the other side. Ultimately, I think it was due to her intelligence (and therefore the big RACK) that we didn't capture here and torture her for information from the start.

What is the fun in being a part of a domestic hate group? I never understood that.

 

[zoobyshoe]

What is the fun in being a part of a domestic hate group? I never understood that.

The coup de grace that seems to convince most people being groomed for membership is the revelation that they will be supplied with tailored underwear with their name, first, middle and last, embroidered by hand on each and every pair.

In the days before the internet when telephonic communication was all the rage I once received a call from a woman speaking a foreign language with which I was not familiar. I don't have anything more to report about that till I get the results of some lab tests on a strange, gritty substance found in a jar of applesauce by Hector Mosquera-Castro, Chula Vista, California, U.S.A, on December 12, 2005. In the meantime, who do you favor in the upcoming crayon eating contest between last year's champ, Eddie Perkins, age 5, and newcomer, Kendra Sutton, 4, who is said to have siglehandedly wiped out her preschool's entire stock of crayolas?

 

[Mattara]

In the meantime, who do you favor in the upcoming crayon eating contest between last year's champ, Eddie Perkins, age 5, and newcomer, Kendra Sutton, 4, who is said to have siglehandedly wiped out her preschool's entire stock of crayolas?

I refuse to answer that question! I very much dislike the segregation between males and females. I'm appalled over the fact that it starts even as early as pre-school with this "boy-against-girl" contests. Oh yeah, I know that it seems innocently hidden and distorted in some lame crayon-eating madness but I assure you, I ASSURE you, it is not even close to that. I'm so aggitated that I cannot control myself right now. The real reason, yes the real reason that these "contests" like they are popularly referred to are being held is malicious beyond belief. Do you know who I blame for this? Do you? I blame the researchers at N@SA. In a secret video documentation the Executive Director of N@SA, Ekstrom confesses to have contributed billions of dollars from tax-payers to fund these acts. This is even worse than the time he claimed to have found a meteor from outer-space confirming the existence of extraterrestrial lifeforms. It is the honest truth, although it sounds like it has been ripped from some random atheist pulp litterature author. If this isn't the solution to the problem, then by all means, glaze my nipples and call me Rita (as the famous Melchett said to Edmund in the popular final episode of the enire series of Blackadder.)

How does women (or men) called Rita with glazed nipples earn a living?

 

[zoobyshoe]

How does women (or men) called Rita with glazed nipples earn a living?

Primarily as ceramic rhinoceros inspectors.

Once when I was crawling on all fours through the swap meet looking for a copy of T. Arthur Jensen's masterpiece The True Method Of Ceramic Rhinoceros Inspection For Students Of the Art I happened instead upon a ceramic rhinoceros tucked away at the bottom of a cardboard box full of old editions of Halliday and Resnick. Turning the horned beast this way and that I attempted in my own amateurish way, to inspect it, but had no luck. On the bottom, though, I found a sticker on which the words "Inspected by Rita #44277812-c" were printed.

"My God!", I exclaimed, "I've found an authentic Rita #44277812-c!" This was an amazing blunder because almost instantaneously I was tackled by a mob of Rita-inspected ceramic rhinoceros collecting swap meet goers who fell on top of me in a great pile trying to grab the precious, fragile artifact from my grasp.

How long will it take the average reader to realize there is no connection between being named Rita, having glazed nipples, and inspecting ceramic rhinoceri, and that there is, therefore, no hidden joke or pun in my anser to the previous quetion?

 

[MSI]

How long will it take the average reader to realize there is no connection between being named Rita, having glazed nipples, and inspecting ceramic rhinoceri, and that there is, therefore, no hidden joke or pun in my anser to the previous quetion?

if the reader never used eyeQ it needs he needs 20 more seconds than the time needed to realize that this is a stupid answer

why am i considered dead ?

 

[zoobyshoe]

why am i considered dead ?

You've been classified in that category due to your inability to capitolize the first word of a sentence. This is a defect common among dead people, therefore it is sometimes used as the criteria for determining if a person is alive or deceased.

If MSI begins capitolizing the first word of sentences will s/he be reclassified as living, or, as a zombie: one who has returned from the dead?