Become Emperor of the World: Would You Take the Job?

[Bladibla]

I wonder will Zz say he post...

Probably nothing, when he sees the extra dollars in his bank account

:)

 

[QuantumDefect]

I would divide the world up into provinces, each with a "governor". There would be one currency and a required language, although other languages will still be allowed. For one, each person will give his fellow man and women, the proper respect they deserve. Each citizen will be garunteed rights. Although at first, many countries will still be in poverty, the first years we will work to provide each person with housing, food,ect. They will live like a person not an animal. After that your life will be forfeit if you decide to infringe upon any person's rights(stealing, murder, ect) and will be shot, ect immediatly if there are eye witnesses that see the crime(within reasonable limits). If not, then you will be put to trial and given the benefit of the doubt. If you are found to be guilty, beyond no shadow of a doubt, then you will be executed. After all, the moment you decided to hurt someone else, you were no longer human. We will set up local government houses, as it is impossible for one person to govern many billions of people. Kind of like the U.S of A's federal gov. People will govern themselves with laws pertaining to their situation and my laws as a sort of background at which they govern themselves, with me being a sort of a watcher in the background. All religions will be free to practice, however no religious bigotry toward others will be tolerated. None of this God wants me to kill all sinners crap. Everyone will be treated fairly. I still haven't figured out how to stop governmental corruption yet, as it will happen. Any ideas? Any bids for offices in my government?

 

[turbo]

If you don't have to be elected, meaning you don't have to campaign, and you already have hoards of money, seeing as how you are emperor and can simply tax people to death or confiscate wealth if you wish, how exactly are oil and insurance and pharmaceutical companies supposed to buy you off?

They don't have to influence me directly - they need only buy off some of the hordes of people that I would require to help administer the whole shebang. In the US, bribing public officials is legal - it's called "lobbying" and only the most extreme cases are ever prosecuted. This practice makes certain that the concerns of the wealthy and powerful are addressed, regardless of the common good. If someone had dictatorial powers over the whole world, you can bet that his/her staff would be bought off very promptly. I guess that the emporer could make bribery a capital crime and publicly execute both parties involved with no right to appeal - that might curb it a bit.

 

[loseyourname]

Or just pay his staff extremely well and make illegal all lobbying. When you have dictatorial power, there is nothing compelling you to follow a US model of bureaucracy.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

I would fire all politicians and lawyers. All governments would have their constitutions and laws placed on probation (including all religeous political organizations such as the Vatican and Mormon temple) until the newly formed government think tank has evaluated and updated said documents and laws. The think tanks would be formed of nothing but scientists. All full members will have PhDs. Those who have yet to complete their doctorat may serve apprenticeships as aids to the full members of the think tanks. After the think tanks have been established and all politicians and lawyers fired I would fire myself and retire.

 

[Schrodinger's Dog]

I don't trust anyone on this board with the responsibility of ruling over anything more then 10 people.

To be honest I find ruling myself challenging enough as it is.

I would fire all politicians and lawyers. All governments would have their constitutions and laws placed on probation (including all religeous political organizations such as the Vatican and Mormon temple) until the newly formed government think tank has evaluated and updated said documents and laws. The think tanks would be formed of nothing but scientists. All full members will have PhDs. Those who have yet to complete their doctorat may serve apprenticeships as aids to the full members of the think tanks. After the think tanks have been established and all politicians and lawyers fired I would fire myself and retire.

And a philsopher, all modern think tanks have at least one philosopher in them.

Similar to the above but I'd set up groups as follows and then retire to the Caymans.

1)dept of trade and industry
2)dept of health(drug and opiates distributer and general maintainer of health and happiness, all drugs are legal)
3)dept of Entertainment(reponsible for propaganda and diplomacy, responsible for keeping everyone informed, or misinformed)
4)dept of belief(belief manipulation, religion, dispensers of the required opiate for the masses)
5)dept of law(people go in they come out model citizens)
6)dept of the interior(the civil service, also responsible for covert monitoring of sensitive groups)
7) the dept of the opposition(highly secret organisation who work alongside the dept of the interior, who's sole purpose is to organise resistance against the government in order to weedle their way into other such groups, who in fact merely kill and replace them, drug cartels, gun runners, resistance cells, terrorists, you name it muscle in anihilate and take over business, the government face of the black market and resistance)
8)the overseers( a hundred or so think tanks in a wide variety of areas, who organise issues to be ratified as law under discussion with the dept of law(kind of like a house of parliament/lords type deal)

 

[jimmie]

The "Emperor of the World" would be one male individual that always is distinguished from all other individuals, and hence, lives in total mental seclusion. As CEO of the planet, his fame would be beyond any former fame known, making him the most famous individual that ever lived.

The Emperor would be the realization of Plato's ideal government; philosopher-king. To be accepted by the masses, the political messiah would have to offer incredible insight into reality and deliver detailed plans for all industries and guarantee successful results of a better way to live for the masses; a new paradigm.

The Emperor would be the common denominator that combines the widest variety of abilities, which makes him not so common. Only he is the thinktank; he is a geniuses' genius, and without the subjects' acceptance he is nothing, as are they.

However, such ability was not magically sprinkled upon him; only the potential to realize such ability. Therefore, the Emperor would not be a child but a full grown man with experience, that has grown into something more than a man. The Alpha-Male would have constant first-person vision, and be able to bestow first-person perspective upon all subjects.

The Emperor, being the virtuous protector of all that is right, would insist that the subjects do not lower themselves to any thing in any way, including the Emperor himself. The contrary would breed contempt, and there shall not be contempt. Within the Emperor's kingdom all of the subjects belong and there is not one "illegal alien".

No friends. No family. No children. No wives. No girlfriends. No partners. No associates. No advisors. No cabinets. No speechwriters. No caucus. No Vice-Emperors. No departments. No agents. No neighbors. No help from anyone for any reason in anyway at any point.

Kingship. It's a good gig if you can get it, and can handle the permanent isolation.

 

[Pengwuino]

I'd outlaw yomamma and cyrus. Ivan would be incharge of sewage systems. I got a beef with him

Speaking of beef, vegetarianism would be outlawed, period. No medical conditions or religious exemptions.

 

[Astronuc]

I'll go for it -

First act - A decree - "Women shall be revered".

Second act "Moonbear, Evo and the PF sisters are put in charge"


Third act - "I abdicate and disappear into obscurity or oblivion, whichever is quicker"


Fourth Act - I join Zaphod Beeblebrox on the Heart of Gold, upgrade the "Infinite Improbability Drive" to the "Ultimate Infinite Absurdity Hyper-Drive with Googolplex Inconsequential Self-Exclusive Singularities" with "Transtemporal-Transgalactic Navigation" and a combined hot/cold cappucino and smoothie maker.

Of course, I become Master of the Universe, then abdicate that once I discover the secrets, but not before I banish the Vogons to the 23 dimension which is temporally and dimensionally bounded by fractal singularities so they cannot escape. The Vogons are informed that the only key to the way out is in the corner. However, there are no corners in the 23rd dimension.

Then Zaphod and I head off in search of the penultimate drink that makes the Pan Galactic Gargleblaster look like lemonade.

Pretty good for one day.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

I'll go for it -

First act - A decree - "Women shall be revered".

Second act "Moonbear, Evo and the PF sisters are put in charge"


Third act - "I abdicate and disappear into obscurity or oblivion, whichever is quicker"


Fourth Act - I join Zaphod Beeblebrox on the Heart of Gold, upgrade the "Infinite Improbability Drive" to the "Ultimate Infinite Absurdity Hyper-Drive with Googolplex Inconsequential Self-Exclusive Singularities" with "Transtemporal-Transgalactic Navigation" and a combined hot/cold cappucino and smoothie maker.

Of course, I become Master of the Universe, then abdicate that once I discover the secrets, but not before I banish the Vogons to the 23 dimension which is temporally and dimensionally bounded by fractal singularities so they cannot escape. The Vogons are informed that the only key to the way out is in the corner. However, there are no corners in the 23rd dimension.

Then Zaphod and I head off in search of the penultimate drink that makes the Pan Galactic Gargleblaster look like lemonade.

Pretty good for one day.

Can I come too please?

 

[JamesU]

I'd outlaw yomamma and cyrus. Ivan would be incharge of sewage systems. I got a beef with him

Speaking of beef, vegetarianism would be outlawed, period. No medical conditions or religious exemptions.

how much to un-outlaw me, just in case?

 

[munky99999]

holy mother ****ing hell.

I just declared myself emperor of the world and didnt know of this thread. LOL.

1) Would you want the job?

2) What actions would you take?

You have absolute political power and you control of the world's military forces. But of course, at any time there are about a billion people who would like to see you dead. Any action that you take might result in localized revolts, minor civil wars, terrorist activities, etc. But you also have the power to enact fundamental change worldwide.

1)damn right. It'd be funny.
2)very little lol. only one big thing i could think of right now.

I have this idea. It was more so meant just for my nice socialist Canada. But I setup a committee sort of thing. Everyone on this committee being freethinking-skeptics. They simply analyze any institution or organisation. which is considered a religious organisation. They study if this organisation has any proof for what they believe. They become outlawed if they fail. Christianity and islam obviously being in the failing group. Now you can't shut them down. But you can revolk advantages. Like the ability to marry people in their places. Then imposing taxes on the institution for taking up space. 10,000%x property tax. As they arent justifiable.

Other then that one. I wouldn't do much.

Though I am also thinking currently of another. I am still thinking it through. But I think i would legalize all drugs. With the exception of any drugs that will kill. Then make access to those sorts of drugs that people like to do, Weed-Coke-heroin through your doctor and pharmacies. But make these currently illegal ones have certain stipulations. To be able to get these drugs you must have a full checkup and cool-down periods between each. so you don't get hooked on the drugs.

then also. if said doctor perscribes a lot of coke or whatever and the person overdoses or goes insane and kills someone. The doctor is partially responsible.

oh and Astronuc it sounds like you may have read hitchhikers guide to the galaxy a little bit.

oh and for my final act as emperor of earth. I fix some of the bigger problems that Penn and Teller's bull****

 

[BornLogician79]

*Basic modern living for everyone, tv, radio, auto, / place in new built local economy, third world solutions / build economies, etc...
*Public guard posts throught major cities in most countries. Sort to prevent urban conflict in cities over x population, all capital cities. Different prison divisions for different crimes...
*International chain of childrens learning institues. Aim at keeping children on track regardless the circumstances. Next door to theese establishments is the institue of open mind...
*Put some x amount of armed force to work planting trees...
*In US enact Y axis traffic laws, lights etc. abolish overhead power lines etc. design over sea highways...
*Build plants in maor cities to manufacture my self sufficient flying device/w 0 emmissions. Make device marketable / affordable...
*Replace cumbustion engine with MAG. Become feul independant, turn gas staions in maitnence centers...
*Build plant to manufacture greater scale self sufficient flying device for CNP, and multi atmospheric environmets...
*Enact strict law for pollution from any mode of transpotation in us.
cars become extinct, eventually...
*Have others chart courses for other planets...
*Terrorism is a tough issue. Whats happening now seems not to be the solution. Although they do blow themselves up. how long can that actually last. Eventually they may exhausts bodies and cars...
*Commercial campaigns against terrorism and discrimination as positive influence to next generation from all racial standpoints...
*Create a country where anything goes but murder, repgnant crimes. Kinda like a shanty society land,! This may absorb some of the kaos from the rest of society and provide a place to look for the bad guys. Federal stores and gaurds inside, not on border. my very first paradox LOL! I wonder if something to this effect would work?...
*Develop an international organizaton of all religions. Where the organization tours to settle hostle religeon affairs. In a way of symbolizing respect for differences in beliefs...
*Develop organization that investigates all polliticians while in office. Make suttle diplomatic relations...
*Build plant to develop global disaster resistant and remote cities...
*Attempt to build pyramid!
*personally over see all plans
*assert my own theories of physics and logic...
*Meet my heros whom are alive or people who may have known the ones who are deceased.
*have men travel to Jupiter or saturn, Mars apears boring...
*Make a long series of small political changes... easy does it.

good question!

 

[Astronuc]

Can I come too please?

Sure - the more the merrier. You can share the driving

We'll just pop in from time to time to see how the Earth is doing.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

I would decree that my children must pay attention to at least some of what I tell them.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I would once again merge the subjects of philosophy and physics. While we're at it, replace all mathematical proofs with philosophical proofs.

I would also pass a law that forbids hiring MBAs, who would all be given illegal immigrant status.

 

[munky99999]

I'd take the job. Under my governemnt:

- Protesting is illegal
- Old people will be payed to stay in their houses.
- Whales will be slaughtered
- Lawyers will become unemployed
- Organized religion is banned
- Jail will be replaced with gladitorial games
- Musicians will be forced to play an instruement.
- Rap music, R&B music will be banned.
- ADD will be classified as being dumb than a psy disorder.
- Bible and the Quran will be placed in the fiction section of the library
- Oprah and Dr phil will be banned.
- Religious places of worship will be bulldozed down.
- Animal rights activists will be forced to play gladitorial games against grizzly bears.
- Mentally disabled people will be no longer be classifed as disabled.

I really like these.
-but protesting should be legal. BUT protesters loose all rights. Thusly a protestor can be murdered without worry of prosecution for murderering a protestor.
-old people. i think more of a thing where. as long as the old people are doing something worth wild and not just sitting around wasting resources. if they are wasting resources. they die.
-whales salughtered. i don't know personally i don't care. but we should slaughter any of those econewbs who protest to save the whales.
-some lawyers are alright. like lawyers who make up wills and stuff. just standard things.
-damn right organised religion would be banned. but you can't do it like that. because then your also banning religions like jainism or buddhism. which arent exactly religions they are more like a philosophy.
-jail turned into entertainment. I do like this. but there is always a chance that you might be sending an innocent person into battle. So ya.
-music really needs to be set to a standard. a lot of this **** they play today has absolutely no skill at all. all it is MTV plays it until you have to accept it as good. then you buy the cd and they drop the band and goto the new Piece of **** band. and rinse and repeat. They force 1 song to be popular and then sell you 20 that's ****.

Just look at that Stacy's mom song. It came out. Nobody! liked it. it went to the internet and people were all called fags and such. It then came up for their turn and MTV played it constantly until people thought. Man a lot of people are requesting it. So it must be popular. So everyone started to like it. They bought the CD and found out. wait this band sucks balls and the band disappeared. mtv and the cd makers made their money and moved on. This is the problem with the music industry. you hear 1 song on tv. you like it. you buy the cd, which you pay for 20 other songs and they turn out ****. so you just payed 20$ more for 20 songs that you DONT want. So you don't want to buy that next cd of 20 more songs you don't want. so they just download that 1 song and they are happy.

so the end result. the music industry is ruining itself by advertising a crappy product.

-A.D.D. and a lot of other "disorders" arent really disorders or anything. they really need to stop making these people out as the victim. They simply need to tell ok. You have ADD. oh well to bad. you just got to push yourself. if you don't its to bad.

-Bible and Quran will be classified as a terrorist book, much along the lines of Mein Kampf and that KKK book. as it essentially tells the followers to kill non believers, homosexuals, and others. and thusly banned.