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Your homophobic boyfriend is just very boy right now. Years later, he'll become friendly to everyone, and when he reaches 40 or so, he'll be one.
tahayassen said:I love how people took Jimmy's joke seriously. =')
My bf doesn't have a narcissistic personality. Also, you're a guy so it's a lot easier for you to meet someone at 35 than it is for a woman. I bet your wife is younger than you. Women are much more heavily judged on beauty and youth. I don't think that 25 is the end but the fact is that the majority of guys are married by age 30 (~70%). I know a lot of these marriage fail but I don't want to marry a guy with kids and/or baggage. When you factor in the fact that people usually date for a few years before marriage it leaves a much smaller pool of suitors. I'm just trying to be realistic. I used to be idealistic and I thought I would hold out for a guy that was close to perfect for me but I realize now that's probably never going to happen. In fact, out of all the guys I've gotten to know, I think my bf would make the best partner and the pool is as large as it's going to get.Rob D said:Sorry to get in so late in the discussion. I have read the entire thread and something came to mind early and stayed until the end. One word: Narcissist
I am not qualified to say more but I strongly suggest that you seek out a therapist trained in psychology and ask them whether your bf is narcissistic personality. I fear that he is.
Best of Luck and NO, 25 is not the end of the road. Gad the narrow perception of the very young. I met my wife when she was 35 and we've been together 21 years. How? We talk frankly and openly about our values, beliefs or lack of them and world view. We held nothing back. Now, we are the happiest people I know.
No, 25 is not too late. There is such a wonderful cornecopia of people and personalities out there. Go get some.
Rob
Rob D said:Sorry to get in so late in the discussion. I have read the entire thread and something came to mind early and stayed until the end. One word: Narcissist
I am not qualified to say more but I strongly suggest that you seek out a therapist trained in psychology and ask them whether your bf is narcissistic personality. I fear that he is.
Help, my boyfriend is very homophobic but a great boyfriend.
He believes they deserve to be treated well just like any other human being and that "one should love the person but not what they do".
Do you not see how condecending this is? "See the light?" Gordon Bennet. You also proceed to mock and use an insult for not enjoying the same things as you.I just feel like I could make him see the light if I could appeal to his reason a bit. Actually I think the biggest problem is that he's a bit closed minded.
Does this matter? Does it matter if he doesn't agree with you regarding the lifestyle of a gay person. Does it matter that he doesn't like literature? You also mock him for his poor grammar.I just feel like if you don't like ANY literature then you must be missing something. I think that perhaps he lacks emotional intelligence.
Judging by how much you defended him, and seem to genuinely care. Yes. All of the diffeences appear to be irrelevent. If anything is going to torpedo the relationship, it's your obsessing with how it could fail.Can we make it work?
So we broke up yesterday.xxChrisxx said:Interesting I came to a similar conclusion, only about the OP. Who seems to be over complicating and obsessing about this, and is acutally the one with the problem.
Spot the inconsistency.
Disagreeing with someones lifestyle, is not homophobia. Especially when you yourself say he doesn't believe in discrimination.
This is a thing I've been noticing more and more lately, or something that 'atheists' do. They tend to be egotists, suffer from arrogance/intelectual snobbery and mock others for differing viewpoints whilst accusing others of intolerance.
The tendency to label and box oneself, then look down upon anyone who doesn't have the same label tattood on their forehead.I am an atheist, I believe x,y,z. My subjective position is right becuase I R RATIONAL!Do you not see how condecending this is? "See the light?" Gordon Bennet. You also proceed to mock and use an insult for not enjoying the same things as you.Does this matter? Does it matter if he doesn't agree with you regarding the lifestyle of a gay person. Does it matter that he doesn't like literature? You also mock him for his poor grammar.
Now on saying all of that.
Judging by how much you defended him, and seem to genuinely care. Yes. All of the diffeences appear to be irrelevent. If anything is going to torpedo the relationship, it's your obsessing with how it could fail.
Toph_fan said:The problem is that he thinks being gay is a choice. The problem is that he believes this because he's intellectually lazy. I'm not saying he's intellectually lazy because his beliefs are different than mine but because I know how he justifies his beliefs. Whenever I question him on why he believes something, he justifies it very poorly.
She gave an example of what she's talking about. How is that not good enough? I think it's clear what she means, and that there's definitely something wrong with the way of thinking that she's describing.xxChrisxx said:Define justifies poorly? What you really mean is didn't come to an conclusion that you deemed valid or 'rationally'. Opinions are frequently derived emotionally, and there really isn't anything wrong with that if it doesn't affect anyone else. As you said before he doesn't believe in discrimination.
xxChrisxx said:Define justifies poorly? What you really mean is didn't come to an conclusion that you deemed valid or 'rationally'. Opinions are frequently derived emotionally, and there really isn't anything wrong with that if it doesn't affect anyone else. As you said before he doesn't believe in discrimination.
What if he agreed with your position but didn't have a rational reason for it?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Storm_in_a_Teacup