This is one thing that always puzzles me. If a person is really so hard to understand and communicate with, why do you want them? What kind of relationship do you expect to have with them?
I look at guys and girls all the time, but the reasons are usually different.
Most of my friends are guys, and the people that I work with are guys, so checking out girls has just become a habit. But this looking is a purely physical judging. I suppose people don't generally like to be judged, so maybe that is why getting "caught" is embarrassing. I'm very sly, and they probably don't suspect me because I am a girl, so I can't recall a time that I got caught. But if I did, my reaction would probably depend on hers. If she didn't care, I wouldn't. If she seemed upset, I might feign an apologetic smile. Now that I think about this behavior, I might not do it anymore. It doesn't seem entirely nice. I think it gradually developed as a form of entertainment rather than starting as a mission to judge people.
When I look at guys, it's usually because I am curious about them, and them noticing me is usually a good thing because it gives me the opportunity to learn more about them. I usually smile when this happens.
I don't mind guys (or girls) checking me out. I don't assume they mean any harm by it. Saying things of the "hey baby" variety, especially yelling them, is annoying sometimes, but oh well. You can't expect everyone to do what you want. It seems that, in a public place, telling someone what they can and can't look at is more of an encroachment on an individual's rights than is having to be looked at. As long as you aren't staring at people through their bedroom window or somewhere where they have an expectation of privacy, I don't think you need to worry.
DaveC426913 said:
This may be a sexist viewpoint, but I'll stand by it:
Women cannot afford to date just anyone. When they say they can't get a date, they mean they can't get one that's acceptable. I'm not talking about standards of attractiveness, I'm talking about safety and security of the situation. While many women are quite capable of handling themselves if need be, the majority would rather crawl across hot coals than to be in a situation where they must handle themselves.
Are the women that you know really that worried about safety? I am generally very cautious, but I have ended up bringing all of my dates recently -- first dates -- back to my apartment, at night, where I live alone. And I didn't really think anything of it until afterward, when it seemed much less safe. So I wonder how many rejections occur out of a concern for safety. Of course, I suppose I don't go on dates with people who seem creepy, so maybe that explains it.
Put that way, yeah, that sure does sound like a good possibility.
