SPOILER: This will be a somewhat depressing rant. I like math (or, I THOUGHT I did), but have been feeling incredibly lazy and powerless recently. I'm currently a freshman undergrad, and I just failed Calc III. I've been barely scraping by recently, having gotten a 40 on the first midterm and a 75 on the second. Today was the final exam, but I spent all of last night watching boxing videos on YouTube until 3 a.m. in the morning - I didn't even know what time my test was until my roommate woke me up at 11 this morning and asked me if I was taking the test or not (the test was 11:30). My reasoning was that it had always been at night the previous two times, so I would have some time to cram when I woke up today. It was, of course, bad reasoning! Yesterday I had just turned in a 9-page final paper for a humanities class that I had written in three days, plus I had to put my stuff into storage for next year. I had WEEKS to do those things, but I put them off until the days before out of laziness and absentmindedness. I don't know why I'm being so irresponsible. Every day I think about the neglected work, and I feel like sh** about myself. And then I still don't do it. I have a psychological aversion to schoolwork or something, or maybe I'm just undisciplined. I don't know. I was very motivated at the beginning of this term, spending hours on my work and struggling with the problems. Some days I work my butt off, other days I just feel like doing nothing school-related. Recently I've been leaning towards the latter extreme. I have a comp sci final coming up tomorrow, and I have to finish moving my stuff into storage. I know exactly what I have to do to get a 100. I WILL work and get that 100 for Comp Sci at least, even though I'll have to take Calc III again. But here's my real question: Suppose I recover spiritually/motivationally, and re-establish my discipline (it's happened before, but not for any really long length of time). If I work my butt off consistently for the next three years (and, that's a big IF, though I know now it's up to me), how close to 0 will the chance be of me getting into a decent math PhD program, assuming I choose to apply? I go to a small, relatively unknown liberal arts school; it's not bad in its own right, but it's not really prestigious as far as I know. The teachers are nice, but I think they think I'm lazy - though that's because I've been lazy. To what extent am I already screwed?