Again, I wish to stress that your interpretation is very non-minimal. How can you be sure that "nothing has happened to the object"?
You replied saying QED obeys signal causality. Sure, but as I have stressed repeatedly, signal causality being respected does not mean that "nothing has happened to the object". A simple way to see that you lack an argument for your assertion that the updating is purely informational with nothing happening to the object, is that if collapse is physical, then something has happened to the object and yet faster than light signalling is prevented.
The minimal interpretation is agnostic, not confidently assertive of things it cannot show, unlike your claim that "nothing has happened to the object". If you read Cohen-Tannoudji, Diu and Laloe's famous text, you will see that they are not so cavalier as you are at this point.