Garth said:
For another reference try Misner Thorne and Wheeler, Gravitation, page 655 and following. You can easily see the problem by considering their equation 25.12...
That's just the Schwarzschild metric expressed as a line element. In that section, they're not addressing the issue you raised at all. They're assuming a massive, static star, and then considering the effect on a single particle whose mass is ignorably small.
The question you have raised is what happens to the far field of a system of particles if one adds energy in order to "spread them apart" (in 3-space). It is more general than a simple question about the Schwarzschild metric, and in fact the issue you raise is not typically addressed in discussions of stars, planets, and other objects where the Schwarzschild metric is used. Such situations are usually extremely asymmetric: the test particle is much less massive than the object generating the field and the perturbation of the field by the test particle can be ignored.
In fact, discussions of the Schwarzschild metric and non-rotating stars typically include a tacit assumption that you are wrong: If the star collapses, the field outside the star
doesn't change. By your assumption, it must change, because the collapse itself doesn't affect the field (you assume!) but the energy released by the collapse
must affect the field, so the result is that collapse should result in a net increase in the external field.
Here's an example of the sort of reference I was asking for. Schutz, "first course", page 233, first line (italics are his):
"...the following fundamental fact:
spherically symmetric motions do not radiate."
In other words, spherical collapse does
not affect the field outside the shell. Yet kinetic energy of some sort must be released in that case, and in the absence of any other effect, that
would affect the field! Conclusion: The total energy is the cause of the field, and in spherically symmetric motions within an isolated system, the total energy is conserved. If you
add energy from the outside in order to expand a spherical mass, you
will affect the gravitational field; otherwise spherical collapse in which all energy remains within the system would have to affect the field, and would therefore have to radiate, and it
does not.
If you can find a reference which actually contradicts that conclusion I'll be interested in seeing it. In particular, try to find something about gravitational radiation produced when a star collapses into a black hole -- if you are correct, there should be a wicked big burst of G-radiation. But as I understand the situation, there is in fact no radiation produced by the event.