Hello htg,
For simplicity, let's first consider the situation of an air core (i.e. no magnetic material in the core -- you can always repeat with a magnetic core if you wish [see below]).
htg said:
Consider a solenoid which is almost toroidal, with a few turns missing (say you have 1000 turns on 99% of the circumference of the toroid) - they will form the primary winding. Let us have 10 turns on 1% of the circumference of the toroid - they will form the secondary winding. Since practically the whole flux of the primary winding goes through the secondary and most of the flux generated by the secondary winding does not go through the primary winding, we have unequal mutual inductances, against a theorem saying that they are equal.
The text in red is the incorrect assumption.
Consider a single loop of the primary winding, directly opposite the secondary winding, on the torus. The magnetic field lines of this loop extend outward from the center of the loop, and then loop back in the standard, symmetrical pattern. But since the secondary winding is relatively far away (on the other side of the torus), not many magnetic field lines from this particular loop make it into the secondary winding.
And when looking at the situation from perspective of a loop of wire in the secondary winding, the results are the same -- not many magnetic field lines originating from the particular secondary loop make it through the particular primary loop on the opposite side of the torus.
As a matter of fact, both perspectives produce the exact same answer for mutual inductance.
Now you can repeat the problem with a magnetic material core if you wish. With a magnetic core, most of the magnetic field lines of the primary are confined to the core, which pass through the secondary. However, the same is true for the secondary, since it shares the same core. Most of the secondary coil's magnetic field lines pass through the primary winding. And so again, whether you start primary winding or the secondary winding, the final mutual inductance is the same either way.