It's possible to present a fairly simple explanation of Einstein's field equations without even mentioning the principle of equivalence. While the principle of equivalence was helpful to Einstein in developing the field equations, it is not necessarily central in describing them. A good but very basic pedagogical paper on the geometrical approach to Einstein's equation is Baez & Bunn's "The Meaning of Einstein's Equation", available online at
http://math.ucr.edu/home/baez/einstein/einstein.html.
Some highlights - only the most important points are mentioned, it would be best to read the entire paper.
Einstein's equation can be expressed as a statement about the relative acceleration of very close test particles in free fall. Let us clarify these terms a bit. A `test particle' is an idealized point particle with energy and momentum so small that its effects on spacetime curvature are negligible. A particle is said to be in `free fall' when its motion is affected by no forces except gravity. In general relativity, a test particle in free fall will trace out a `geodesic'. This means that its velocity vector is parallel transported along the curve it traces out in spacetime. A geodesic is the closest thing there is to a straight line in curved spacetime.
Again, all this is easier to visualize in 2d space rather than 4d spacetime. A person walking on a sphere `following their nose' will trace out a geodesic -- that is, a great circle. Suppose two people stand side-by-side on the equator and start walking north, both following geodesics. Though they start out walking parallel to each other, the distance between them will gradually start to shrink, until finally they bump into each other at the north pole. If they didn't understand the curved geometry of the sphere, they might think a `force' was pulling them together.
Similarly, in general relativity gravity is not really a `force', but just a manifestation of the curvature of spacetime. Note: not the curvature of space, but of spacetime. The distinction is crucial.
and, given these preliminaries, Einstein's field equations can be interpreted as implying the following:
We promised to state Einstein's equation in plain English, but have not done so yet. Here it is:
Given a small ball of freely falling test particles initially at rest with respect to each other, the rate at which it begins to shrink is proportional to its volume times: the energy density at the center of the ball, plus the pressure in the
direction at that point, plus the pressure in the
direction, plus the pressure in the [PLAIN]http://math.ucr.edu/home/baez/einstein/img17.gifdirection.
As noted in the appendix, though, this simplified interpretation is perhaps a bit over-simple. The actual math requires that one knows what the Riemann and Ricci tensors are, and more importantly, how they transform. The simplified presentation picks out one of the simplest possible cases, and assumes that one can transform a given physical situation into this particularly simple case. But it doesn't describe the needed transformation laws. That requires tensor calculus, and probably a bit of differential geometry, much more advanced topics than the rest of the paper.
Equation (
9) will be true if anyone component holds in all local inertial coordinate systems. This is a bit like the observation that all of Maxwell's equations are contained in Gauss's law and [PLAIN]http://math.ucr.edu/home/baez/einstein/img104.gif. Of course, this is only true if we know how the fields transform under change of coordinates. Here we assume that the transformation laws are known.
It's not entirely clear to me if the OP's description of the EFE's is the same as Baez & Bunn's description. There are two basic possibilities. The two theories predict the same experimental results, in which case they can be regarded as different interpretations of the same theory, or they don't, in which case they are different theories.
I don't think there's enough information at this point to say for sure whether or not the OP is interpreting Einstein's equation differently, or is in fact using some theory of gravity that's not General Relativity.
It's also not clear to me how to overcome the language difficulties, I am hoping that a simple presentation of the geometrical view in geometrical language will be of some help.