Finding Solace in Favourite Quotes: Escaping Despair with Words of Wisdom

[Char. Limit]

This thread will reach 100,000 views very soon.

-Character Limit

 

[Frame Dragger]

Not sure if I've posted these before.

"Some men aren't looking for anything logical. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn." - Alfred, Bruce Wayne's Butler

"The thing about Hash Cakes is this: Start off with one, wait about an hour see how you feel. Don't eat fifteen in one go, cause you will see the devil, and he'll try to rip your heart out through your kneecaps" (Naboo The Shaman aka The Croydon Mystic aka Michel Fielding)

“You’re in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you’re not helping — why is that?”

"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

"Summa pia gratia nostra conservando corpora et custodita, de gente fera Normannica nos libera, quae nostra vastat, Deus, regna."(St. Vaast or St. Medard)

"What's the difference between God and a surgeon? Answer: God knows that he's not a surgeon."

 

[czelaya]

From a movie I used to dislike but it's becoming one of my favorites:

"The ebb and flow of the Atlantic tides, the drift of the continents, the very position of the sun along its ecliptic. THESE are just a FEW of the things I control in my world!"

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."

 

[Anticitizen]

'The only substitute for manners is fast reflexes.'

 

[Lancelot59]

'The only substitute for manners is fast reflexes.'

All too true.

 

[Borek]

In today's world five times more time and money is being invested in drugs for male virility and silicone implants for women, than in the cure of Alzheimer's disease ..
In a few years to come we’ll have grammas with large breasts and grandpas with hard ****s, but they won’t remember what it’s for.

Drauzio Varella, Brazilian oncologist

 

[EnumaElish]

"It is an old maxim of mine that when you have excluded the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." -- Sherlock Holmes

 

[DaveC426913]

“You’re in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you’re not helping — why is that?”

From a film with some of the most memorable quotes in moviedom (I've seen things you've never dreamed!), why do you see this one as quoteworthy ?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

The Irish have conquered the world through peaceful penetration

- my Irish friend

 

[Lancelot59]

I have a good one:

In a butter fight, there are no winners.

 

[Char. Limit]

Quote Combinations...

Never bring a sword to fight a land war in Asia with guns.

Make no sense!

 

[phyzmatix]

''I had a wonderful moment...when the radio went off as I was just waking up in my own bed at home.

''I heard, 'This morning, the Prime Minister will...' and I thought, 'Oh God, what's he doing now? And then I thought, 'Oh no, hang on a second - it's me!'''

~David Cameron

 

[DocMuffinZ]

“Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.”

 

[IMP]

Probably a repeat, but still one of my favorites:

I do not know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. ~ Albert Einstein

 

[BobG]

I have a good one:

In a butter fight, there are no winners.

There's no winners in a contraceptive foam fight, either. Plus, the next morning, the kids are wandering around wondering what in the world happened to the house.

 

[Lancelot59]

There's no winners in a contraceptive foam fight, either. Plus, the next morning, the kids are wandering around wondering what in the world happened to the house.

How about this:

Kids in the back seat cause accidents, but accidents in the back seat cause kids.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

What do we call Glenn Beck fans, Becker-heads?

- Colbert

 

[FrancisZ]

"Some days, you just can't get rid of a bomb."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoUpF7rvfnk

 

[drizzle]

Ah Love! could thou and I with Fate conspire

To grasp this sorry Scheme of Things entire,

Would not we shatter it to bits -- and then

Re-mould it nearer to the Heart's Desire!

Al- Khayyam. Translated by Edward J. Fitzgerald

 

[magpies]

Unknown -

Modern science hopes to bring immortality but
instead all it can bring is false hopes. The
reason for this is simple the goal of science
is to study and immortality requires one to
have mastered all that there is to study.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Unknown -

And better left that way. What is your source for that quote? I realize that you don't know the original source, but where did you get it? It sounds like something a high school kid made up.

 

[Scribner]

"If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch you must first invent the universe"

Carl Sagan

 

[phyzmatix]

"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, just f@ck off and leave me alone!"

~Maharishi Phucknuckle

 

[IcedEcliptic]

"What goes around comes around. And sometimes you get what's coming around...And sometimes you are what's coming around." - Jim Butcher

Алты́нного во́ра ве́шают, а полти́нного че́ствуют. Translation: One hangs the thief who stole altyn(3 kopecks), and honors the one who stole poltinnik(50 kopecks).

 

[IcedEcliptic]

A couple of additions:

"With that power I should have power too great and terrible. And over me the ring would gain a power still greater and more deadly."
(Tolkien)

Duke of Exeter. 'Edward the Third, he bids you then resign
Your crown and kingdom, indirectly held
From him the native and true challenger. '

King of France. 'Or else what follows?'

Duke of Exeter. 'Bloody constraint; for if you hide the crown 1000
Even in your hearts, there will he rake for it:'(Henry V act II)

On the lightest of all possible notes:

(Brian and Stewie are on a German tour bus.)
German Tour Guide: You vill find more on Germany's contributions to ze arts in ze pamphlets ve have provided.
Brian : Yeah, about your pamphlet... uh, I'm not seeing anything about German history between 1939 and 1945. There's just a big gap.
Tour guide: Everyone vas on vacation. On your left is Munich's first city hall, erected in 15...
Brian : Wait, what are you talking about? Germany invaded Poland in 1939 and...
Tour Guide: We were invited. Punch vas served. Check vit Poland.
Brian : You can't just ignore those years. Thomas Mann fled to America because of Nazism's stranglehold on Germany.
Tour guide: Nope, nope. He left to manage a Dairy Queen.
Brian : A Dairy Queen? That's preposterous.
Tour guide: I vill hear no more insinuations about the German people. Nothing bad happened. Sie werden sich hinsetzen. Sie werden ruhig sein. Sie werden nicht beleidigen Deutschland. You will sit down. You will shut up. You will not insult Germany. (Throws his hand up in a Hitler salute.)
Brian : Uh, is that a beer hall?
Tour guide: (Snapping out of it) Oh yes, Munich is renowned for its historic beer halls.

 

[DanP]

"With that power I should have power too great and terrible. And over me the ring would gain a power still greater and more deadly."

(Tolkien)

"Instead of a Sith Lord, you would have a queen, not dark but beautiful and terrible as the dawn! Tempestuous as the sea, and stronger than the foundations of the earth! All shall love me and despair!"

- paraphrased Tolkien

 

[IcedEcliptic]

- paraphrased Tolkien

Heh, very good!

Turn all her mother's pains and benefits
To laughter and contempt; that she may feel
How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is
To have a thankless child! Away, away!

"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome." - Isaac Asimov

"And crawling, on the planet's face, some insects, called the Human Race. Lost in time, and lost in space, and meaning." (RHPS)

"To reign over the kingdom of the world. To make its peace and write its laws. To be generous to the obedient and merciless to all those who would stand against you. Nothing ever changes. 2000 years and you still act as if the world is yours." (Alucard from Hellsing speaking to a Vatican envoy)

 

[qspeechc]

Wisdom is to know that rest is rust and that real life is in love, laughter and work - Elbert Hubbard

There are some days when I think I am going to die from an overdose of satisfaction - Salvador Dali

Fate seems to work with dice rather than a T-square - George Ade

Anyone can win, provided there's no second entry - George Ade

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing is best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight and never stop fighting - e.e. cummings

 

[IcedEcliptic]

Wisdom is to know that rest is rust and that real life is in love, laughter and work - Elbert Hubbard

There are some days when I think I am going to die from an overdose of satisfaction - Salvador Dali

Fate seems to work with dice rather than a T-square - George Ade

Anyone can win, provided there's no second entry - George Ade

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing is best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight and never stop fighting - e.e. cummings

Those are really good.

 

[collinsmark]

"It's fun to be a sucker, if you can afford it."
-Diamond Jim Brady

 

[jobyts]

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion" - US Constitution, 1st Ammendment

 

[Mu naught]

this whole thing, and Brando's performance just makes it perfect.

 

[caljuice]

correlation doesn't imply causation

 

[Ivan Seeking]

"There is a new way to cuss people out down here [Louisiana]: BP you!"
- Ret. Lt. Gen. Honore

 

[Borg]

Spill Baby, Spill.

Nice one Ivan .

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Bing is a great search engine. I know because I googled it.

It isn't the Gulf of Mexico anymore: We broke it, we own it.

- Colbert

 

[ViewsofMars]

"Books have the same enemies as people: fire, humidity, animals [book bugs], weather, and their own content." Paul Valery(1871-1945)

I like that quote because earlier today I found that to be true to some degree as I thumbed through HOW SUCCESS IS WON by Mrs. Sarah K. Bolton, D. Lothrop and Company, Boston, 1885, ELEMENTARY LESSONS IN ZOOLOGY by James G. Needham, M.S., American Book Company, 1896, and LONG LIFE AND HOW TO REACH IT by Joseph G. Richardson, M.D., P. Blakiston, Son & Co., Philadelphia, 1885.

I love old books. I love to collect them.

 

[jobyts]

Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes. - Rodney Dangerfield.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

In Arkansas, you give your location by the distance from the nearest Wal Mart

- CNN viewer from Arkansas

 

[ViewsofMars]

These are my favorites quotes today.

“From the foundations of science, to the limits of technology, to the very definition of the human condition, I think computation is destined to be the defining idea of our future.” Stephen Wolfram's 2010 TED Talk in Long Beach, California on Thursday, February 11, 2010.

Also, as a book bug (tee hee), I like this one too.

"Every language is undergoing, at all times, a slow but unceasing process of linguistic change." LANGUAGE by Leonard Bloomfield, Henry Holt and Company, New York, 1933, Chapter 17, WRITTEN RECORDS, p.g. 231.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

As I'm sure you know, there aren't any walruses in the Gulf of Mexico and there have not been for three million years

- Rep Ed Markey

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Colbert responding to members of the rock band, Devo, who with tongue in cheek claim that we are devolving:

I don't believe in evolution, so I don't believe in devolution. I believe in intelligent decline.

 

[collinsmark]

"It has always been my private conviction that any man who puts his intelligence up against a fish and loses had it coming."
-John Steinbeck

 

[n.karthick]

One of my favourite quotes
"Life without Danger is waste of oxygen"

 

[Lancelot59]

"It has always been my private conviction that any man who puts his intelligence up against a fish and loses had it coming."
-John Steinbeck

That's a pretty good one. I knew something with a similar premise but it's escaping me right now.

I guess this works for now:

Note: If the help desk thinks your question is stupid you will be set you on fire.

 

[mynameinc]

It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. - Mark Twain

 

[Ivan Seeking]

From a friend who works in industry

I hate it when [our competition] spends more bribing their Senator than we do ours

 

[jobyts]

Cristiano Ronaldo: God sent me to Earth to show people how to play football.

Lionel Messi: I never sent anybody!

 

[petm1]

“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy garbage…what a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

 

[Char. Limit]

Evolution is only a theory... you know, kind of like gravity.

Taken from a bumper sticker.