God, you're dumb and you're a WHAT?

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russ_watters

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Honest to God, I knew someone at the Naval Academy who asked - "but if ships are made of metal, how do they float??" :surprised
 
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russ_watters said:
Honest to God, I knew someone at the Naval Academy who asked - "but if ships are made of metal, how do they float??" :surprised
well it IS pretty hard to explain it to anyone without getting into talk about magic water elves that swim under boats to hold them up in the water, because then everyone wants to know how the US governemnt got those elves to work for us, and then labor laws come up, and then PETA gets involved and then issues about black market elf sales and all of that... so schools have started making up this "bouyancy" stuff thats taught just before an exam so it never properly gets covered, and everyone forgets quickly, and so the mass population can remain blissfully ignorant. unfortunately, you're friend was a clever one, and still managed to ponder the ellusive question of floating metal.
 
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I used to work ina clinical laboratry, and had medical doctors call and ask how to test for immunity (to some pathogen).
 
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We hired this one guy and on the first day we went to a new job. We were at the job site and looking at a big set of plans for a new 5 mile stretch of road. We looked at page after page of this road and drove up and down this 5 mile stretch checking things out. While we were driving we found out that the new guy has a degree in mechanical engineering. towards the end of the day this guy asks "So what are we building, a hospital?"
 

ShawnD

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In my microbiology lab, the instructor was saying that they previously used metal wires to put bacteria samples onto the microscope plates, and the wire is sterilized using fire, but now they use throwaway plastic sticks. One student asks "so do we sterilize the plastic stick in the bunsen burner too?"
Just think about what you're asking.... putting plastic into a 2000 degree flame.

In the environmental laboratory, one student was trying to argue that a cubic meter and a litre were the same thing. As you should know, a cubic meter is actually 1000 litres, but we could not convince her otherwise.

I should mention that these are students in the final semester of chemistry. After this semester, they'll be real chemistry employees doing real tests like sampling the water you drink and the air you breathe. I find that scary.
 
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rachmaninoff

No phone number, business address? Nice, profitable document-forgery scheme they have going there. :rolleyes:

Interesting story here; one of these 'institutions' gave an MBA to a cat:

http://www.turnto10.com/news/3976875/detail.html [Broken]
 
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ShawnD

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MIH should use that cat picture as her new avatar.
 

rachmaninoff

A senior Homeland Security director was brought down in '03, her 'doctorate' being from an fradulent online college:

http://www.washingtontechnology.com/news/1_1/daily_news/20849-1.html [Broken]
 
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Gokul43201

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A : God, you're dumb... and you're a WHAT?

B : I'm a politician. They call me Mr. President !
 

Moonbear

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Gale said:
well it IS pretty hard to explain it to anyone without getting into talk about magic water elves that swim under boats to hold them up in the water, because then everyone wants to know how the US governemnt got those elves to work for us, and then labor laws come up, and then PETA gets involved and then issues about black market elf sales and all of that... so schools have started making up this "bouyancy" stuff thats taught just before an exam so it never properly gets covered, and everyone forgets quickly, and so the mass population can remain blissfully ignorant. unfortunately, you're friend was a clever one, and still managed to ponder the ellusive question of floating metal.
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: You must have graduated from one of the more prestigious 5-day programs to know so much! :biggrin:

ShawnD said:
I should mention that these are students in the final semester of chemistry. After this semester, they'll be real chemistry employees doing real tests like sampling the water you drink and the air you breathe. I find that scary.
Or they go on to med school. The more med students I teach, the more afraid I am to go to a doctor. :surprised Sure, there are plenty of good students, but then you run into the few who just leave you wondering how they got into med school and why they are still there. One can only hope they won't pass their boards so can't actually practice medicine.
 
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Don't forget ITT-Technical Institute.
 

Math Is Hard

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ShawnD said:
MIH should use that cat picture as her new avatar.
Excellent idea, Shawn. :approve:
Thanks.
 
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Moonbear said:
:
Or they go on to med school. .
or they start experimenting on sheep
 

Pengwuino

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ShawnD said:
In the environmental laboratory, one student was trying to argue that a cubic meter and a litre were the same thing.
Why didn't you grab a meter stick and a soda bottle? Then hit her upside the head with both.
 

Pengwuino

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For an additional $99 fee, investigators said the agent requested the cat's transcript. The document arrived with Colby's graduation date, student number and a GPA of 3.5.
That cat's smarter then me :(
 

Moonbear

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Pengwuino said:
Why didn't you grab a meter stick and a soda bottle?
I was going to suggest the same thing...
Then hit her upside the head with both.
...but obviously hadn't thought it through to the best use of each object. :rofl:
 
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I'm 17- and in an advanced Englsh/ History class. (Same kids in each class) These kids (who have higher GPA's then I do) Say some things that make you go. "Ahhhh ya"

My favorite is when a girl in my history class asked my teacher what the "Aforementioned acts" did. She belived they were a new set of acts she had never learned. Like the Stamp Act.
 

GCT

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B : I'm a politician. They call me Mr. President !
c'mon he's not that dumb, although too much drinking may have impaired his verbal abilities somewhat. His SAT scores were not that bad, at least for the standards at the time (percentile).
 
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GCT said:
c'mon he's not that dumb, although too much drinking may have impaired his verbal abilities somewhat. His SAT scores were not that bad, at least for the standards at the time (percentile).

I always laugh at people who keep calling Bush dumb. Dangerous, yeah. Dumb? Nope. The reason the Democrats lost the election is because they were the dumb ones who kept underestimating him. And so i keep laughing at people who call him stupid. And cry because their stupidity is going to screw us all.
 

ShawnD

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franznietzsche said:
I always laugh at people who keep calling Bush dumb. Dangerous, yeah. Dumb? Nope. The reason the Democrats lost the election is because they were the dumb ones who kept underestimating him. And so i keep laughing at people who call him stupid. And cry because their stupidity is going to screw us all.
He also managed to win an election in which he ran as the common man, despite the fact that he's both Harvard and Yale educated, is a multimillionaire, and his father was at one time the most powerful man in the world. Brilliant.
 

Pengwuino

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ShawnD said:
He also managed to win an election in which he ran as the common man, despite the fact that he's both Harvard and Yale educated, is a multimillionaire, and his father was at one time the most powerful man in the world. Brilliant.
he ran as the common man?
 
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Gale said:
well it IS pretty hard to explain it to anyone without getting into talk about magic water elves that swim under boats to hold them up in the water, because then everyone wants to know how the US government got those elves to work for us, and then labor laws come up, and then PETA gets involved and then issues about black market elf sales and all of that... so schools have started making up this "buoyancy" stuff thats taught just before an exam so it never properly gets covered, and everyone forgets quickly, and so the mass population can remain blissfully ignorant. unfortunately, you're friend was a clever one, and still managed to ponder the ellusive question of floating metal.
Your wrong they don't have the magic water elves swimming holding the boat it's actually the PETA guys swimming under the boat and holding it. The magic water elves are used to teach kids about "buoyancy" and because there magic water elves and kids think they make toys for Santa so he can deliver it on Christmas(But Santa actually the NASA agent that does that secret spying stuff...)they listen to them about "buoyancy".
 
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ShawnD said:
He also managed to win an election in which he ran as the common man, despite the fact that he's both Harvard and Yale educated, is a multimillionaire, and his father was at one time the most powerful man in the world. Brilliant.

Well here's the kicker. How many people think Bush give's a rats posterior about gay marriage? How many people seriously believe that it matters one iota to him? The whole point of pushing to constitutionally ban gay marriage was to drive fundamentalists to the polls on election day. NOTHING else. And while they were there, why not vote for Bush too.... It was really a clever plan. Notice how the issue was pretty much dropped afterwards? He doesn't care. He played the fundamentalists for fools. But the democratic party was too busy calling him stupid to catch on and counter that move, and they lost, quite decisively, compared to 2000, even compared to Clinton's victories.
 
Does the tone of this thread strike anyone else as similar to JP's from Grandma's Boy?
 
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He also managed to win an election in which he ran as the common man, despite the fact that he's both Harvard and Yale educated, is a multimillionaire, and his father was at one time the most powerful man in the world. Brilliant.
He also managed to be an alcoholic cokehead.
 

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