Help me regain my thirst for knowledge

[jd12345]

Okay guys - I hope you all can help me ... maybe someone out there has gone through similar experiences.
There are some smart guys out there in my college and I feel very jealous when they score and I do not. Earlier I didn't care about how others performed, I was only focused on my knowledge.
I love studying and learning new things but this feeling of jealousy is killing me. I don't want to have it but still can't help it.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Just to clarify your problem: you're saying you used to be satisfied just learning but now you have become envious of people who get better grades?

 

[SHISHKABOB]

I use that feeling of competition to help me focus on working hard. There are kids in my class who generally do better than I do, but lately I have improved and I'm pretty sure that I'm ahead of them. This makes me feel a lot better about myself, but I couldn't have gotten here if I hadn't been jealous of them in the first place, since that was sort of what helped fuel my desire to improve.

 

[jd12345]

Just to clarify your problem: you're saying you used to be satisfied just learning but now you have become envious of people who get better grades?

That's correct.

I use that feeling of competition to help me focus on working hard. There are kids in my class who generally do better than I do, but lately I have improved and I'm pretty sure that I'm ahead of them. This makes me feel a lot better about myself, but I couldn't have gotten here if I hadn't been jealous of them in the first place, since that was sort of what helped fuel my desire to improve.

Maybe that would help me get better but I don't like the competitive feeling. I don't like comparing myself with others. I just want to enjoy learning.

Although I am not sure why am I saying all this on this forum, but still it makes me feel better to share this with some unknown people