How Can I Legally Remove an Unwanted Roommate?

[Borek]

So, anything new?

 

[Red Rum]

Kill him (humanely) and carefully remove the skin. Then wear the skin and according to the mollycule theory, it will fuse to you and to all intents and purposes you will become him. In this manner, his absence will go unnoticed. Of course, unless you carefully cover your steps, you run the risk that you could be implicated in your own murder. Perhaps it's better to just suggest you need some time alone and move out.

 

[Borek]

Not sure it will work though. Becoming him will make getting rid of him even harder.

 

[Red Rum]

No. You'll be rid of him, but only you will know this.