How Can Lee's Claim Be Disproved?

[Tsu]

Originally posted by jimmy p
i wouldn't want to get in trouble with uncle Ivan, isn't it enough that I am taking you out to dinner??

Well, yeah. But buy me a newspaper, too. OK? I can probably talk Ivan into 'using' it later...

 

[motai]

Originally posted by Tsunami
Well, yeah. But buy me a newspaper, too. OK? I can probably talk Ivan into 'using' it later...

Id much rather use leaves. Yeesh. Wouldn't newspapers leave marks?

 

[Tsu]

Originally posted by motai
Id much rather use leaves. Yeesh. Wouldn't newspapers leave marks?

On my fur? Maybe INK marks... Having all the fur makes it feel like you're being karate chopped. Good for the back, shoulders... Ahhhhh...

 

[jimmy p]

Would you prefer a broadsheet or a tabloid?? As a pooch of your size, shouldn't being slapped by a newspaper feel like being hit by...something real big?

 

[Tsu]

Originally posted by jimmy p
Would you prefer a broadsheet or a tabloid??

Broadsheet, please. I stay as far away as possible from 'rag' newspapers.

As a pooch of your size, shouldn't being slapped by a newspaper feel like being hit by...something real big?

It depends on the size of the newspaper and HOW you roll it up!

 

[motai]

Take several newspapers and roll them together (im talking thick newspapers) and tie them together in three places with twine/beeswax string. Superglue the twine/beeswax string to the rolled up newspaper and pressure-treat the newspaper.

Mix concrete solution and add to "whacking" end of newspaper, be sure to include circular rebars. Add comftorable hand grip (expensive material) and include tungsten metal to outer-body to evenly distribute the weight so it won't crinkle onto itself.

People will see your "newspaper" and stay away from your tricked out clubbing device.

 

[PrudensOptimus]

omg my threads...

 

[Evo]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
omg my threads...

Off topic?

 

[Tsu]

Originally posted by motai
Take several newspapers and roll them together (im talking thick newspapers) and tie them together in three places with twine/beeswax string. Superglue the twine/beeswax string to the rolled up newspaper and pressure-treat the newspaper.

Mix concrete solution and add to "whacking" end of newspaper, be sure to include circular rebars. Add comftorable hand grip (expensive material) and include tungsten metal to outer-body to evenly distribute the weight so it won't crinkle onto itself.

Chopnik! Do NOT try this at home! Unless I'm off my mark here, I do believe that this newspaper would indeed injure you're sweet little stubby-legged auntie. Just use the classified section and roll it loosly. Ho Tay? XXOO

(And pay no attention to the look on my face. I'm just being PLAYFUL! *yeah, that's it. that's the ticket. 'playful'!* )

 

[jimmy p]

Ill only use the nice broadsheet newspapers on you aunty! However i shall make one of Motai's patented 'clubpapers' just incase i walk through a rough area of town filled with imbeciles. I shall have an inoffensive looking WMD if i get attacked!

 

[motai]

Originally posted by jimmy p
Ill only use the nice broadsheet newspapers on you aunty! However i shall make one of Motai's patented 'clubpapers' just incase i walk through a rough area of town filled with imbeciles. I shall have an inoffensive looking WMD if i get attacked!

Yes, it is perfect camoflauge. Who would suspect a "newspaper"? I wouldn't. BTW, for added oomph, add metallic spikes to the clubbing end.

 

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Evo
Off topic?

popular in PF :D

 

[jimmy p]

Originally posted by motai
Yes, it is perfect camoflauge. Who would suspect a "newspaper"? I wouldn't. BTW, for added oomph, add metallic spikes to the clubbing end.

ooh better make them spring-loaded so that the fools don't suspect a thing... HAHAHA i can imagine the expression on their stupid faces...

 

[motai]

I could just see someone robbing a bank with that clubbing "newspaper".

"Stick it up or ill whack you with my paper!"

Its just as silly as robbing someone with a toy gun that shoots out a stick that says "BANG!", or robbing a bank with a rubber band... "I'll poke your eyes out!"

 

[jimmy p]

lol that would be amusing, but the clubpaper should be an instrument of good to protect the clever from the morons. You reckon the spikes should be barbed??

 

[motai]

True, but look at how many things have been used against humanity for good intentions (i.e. Atomic bomb). Therefore, one should customize the clubpaper to the point that it cannot possibly be modified any more so it cannot be used in any worse way than a club.

The spikes should be barbed... preferably with concentration camp-esq style razor wire. In order to keep it out of the wrong hands, just club the person who desires the clubpaper for themselves for evil biddings.

It could be used by women who need to protect themselves with the most damaging, non-lethal weapon available.

The clubpaper should be used to protect freedom and promote literacy! That freedom will not be fulfilled until you whack the evildoers and terrorists up-side the head with it and liberate the oppressed with reading material that doubles as a potentially lethal device should the oppressors come back.