How many imperfections could one tolerate and still truly love someone

  • Thread starter wolram
  • Start date
  • #1
wolram
Gold Member
4,267
557
Be true to yourself here please, perfection is in the eye of the beholder,
but how many imperfections could you tolerate and still truly (love) some
one?
 

Answers and Replies

  • #2
A mother need not worry about the number of imperfections of her children, if she is like most mothers and loves them unconditionally. I tend to think love kinda blinds you from someone's imperfections. It can even make that person you love somehow unique, in your eyes. Over all I suppose it has to do with the level of love and the depth of imperfections that make or break love.
 
  • #3
2,985
15
No one can answer you that. It depends on the situation and the imperfection.
 
  • #4
918
16
Every time I think of how stupid my wife is, I remember that she married me and that improves my estimation of her genius.
 
  • #5
cristo
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
8,107
73
Every time I think of how stupid my wife is, I remember that she married me and that improves my estimation of her genius.
That doesn't make sense. Unless you mean "she married me therefore she is a very intelligent person"; in which case it doesn't fit into the theme of the thread. Care to expand?
 
  • #6
Kurdt
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
4,812
6
I can't tolerate any imperfection. Thats why I'm hooked on one woman who is perfect.
 
  • #7
drankin
I can't tolerate any imperfection. Thats why I'm hooked on one woman who is perfect.
You found her?! Man has been looking for her for thousands of years! :surprised
 
  • #8
Evo
Mentor
23,153
2,794
It would really depend on the imperfection. I am more likely not to date someone with a bad attitude than someone with a physical imperfection. Like zenparticle said, usually it's the imperfections that become the most endearing.

I could NOT date someone stupid.
 
  • #9
918
16
That doesn't make sense. Unless you mean "she married me therefore she is a very intelligent person"
Agreed.

in which case, it doesn't fit into the theme of the thread.
I heartily disagree. It speaks to the OP's remark that perfection is in the eye of the beholder. I'm the beholder, I see my wife do a dozen stupid things a day. (never mind that I do thirteen). But if I take the blinders off, I behold more than the day to day irritations. In this way, I can tolerate a great deal. To the beholders of imperfections, I say "look again."
 
  • #10
459
7
Be true to yourself here please, perfection is in the eye of the beholder,
but how many imperfections could you tolerate and still truly (love) some
one?
For certain this is what Douglas Adams was refering to in his Hitchhiker series when the hypercomputer Deep Thought was asked what the answer to Life, the Universe and Everything is. When Deep Thought gave the answer 42 it obviously meant that is how many imperfections we can tolerate in someone that we love.

That's good to know. I should be perfectly safe because I can't remember more than 5 or 6 things simultaneously for any length of time. My question to Deep Thought would be "Can you tell me what my phone number is?" Then again, I don't have 7.5 million years to wait for an answer, so I'll just get the card I have it written on from my wallet and read it.

This should be a warning. Don't ever make a list of things you hate about people you love.
 
  • #12
Moonbear
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
11,490
52
No one can answer you that. It depends on the situation and the imperfection.
And how much you love that person already. It's a lot easier to overlook imperfections, or not see them as imperfections at all, if you're already in love than if you aren't.
 
  • #13
ockol
For certain this is what Douglas Adams was refering to in his Hitchhiker series when the hypercomputer Deep Thought was asked what the answer to Life, the Universe and Everything is. When Deep Thought gave the answer 42 it obviously meant that is how many imperfections we can tolerate in someone that we love.

That's good to know. I should be perfectly safe because I can't remember more than 5 or 6 things simultaneously for any length of time. My question to Deep Thought would be "Can you tell me what my phone number is?" Then again, I don't have 7.5 million years to wait for an answer, so I'll just get the card I have it written on from my wallet and read it.

This should be a warning. Don't ever make a list of things you hate about people you love.
just I like what you say
 
  • #14
Lisa!
Gold Member
612
96
A mother need not worry about the number of imperfections of her children, if she is like most mothers and loves them unconditionally. I tend to think love kinda blinds you from someone's imperfections. It can even make that person you love somehow unique, in your eyes. Over all I suppose it has to do with the level of love and the depth of imperfections that make or break love.
Very well said!:approve:
 
  • #15
cristo
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
8,107
73
I heartily disagree. It speaks to the OP's remark that perfection is in the eye of the beholder. I'm the beholder, I see my wife do a dozen stupid things a day. (never mind that I do thirteen). But if I take the blinders off, I behold more than the day to day irritations. In this way, I can tolerate a great deal. To the beholders of imperfections, I say "look again."
I think I took what you wrote in a manner in which it wasn't intended. What you really mean is "my wife may do stupid things, but I ignore them because I love her, and because I can see past them." I read your original comment to mean "since my wife has married then she must be intelligent"-- it is this that I thought was rather egotistic and off-topic.

Apologies for the misunderstanding!
 
  • #16
wolram
Gold Member
4,267
557
It would really depend on the imperfection. I am more likely not to date someone with a bad attitude than someone with a physical imperfection. Like zenparticle said, usually it's the imperfections that become the most endearing.

I could NOT date someone stupid.

I have a chance :smile:

No i do not :cry:
 
  • #17
wolram
Gold Member
4,267
557
No one can answer you that. It depends on the situation and the imperfection.

Could you date some one with say, volcanic achne ?
 
  • #18
Could you date some one with say, volcanic achne ?
Depends on how much money they had! A few million could make a face look clear as a baby's you know what. Ok, ok... I'm kidding. If the person had a great personallity zits would not matter to me, but I am a woman so we are not as harsh about "looks" as most men.. I think..
 
  • #19
wolram
Gold Member
4,267
557
Depends on how much money they had! A few million could make a face look clear as a baby's you know what. Ok, ok... I'm kidding. If the person had a great personallity zits would not matter to me, but I am a woman so we are not as harsh about "looks" as most men.. I think..
Wow, another lady on PFs, that is just so good, there should be more,
but alas you guys just will not come out of the woodwork.
 
  • #20
459
7
Could you date some one with say, volcanic achne ?
This is something that I never liked about myself because I hate it when people do it to me. Yet, a large part of what first attracts me to a woman is her appearance. That is only short-lived though. After the first few minutes of talking with someone my opinion of them can change drastically. I have no interest in a mean-spirited woman regardless of how good she looks. And the girl with volcanic acne might seem like someone that I would like to get to know better. Forming a physical relationship with the latter would take more time for all those little, meaningless imperfections to seem not so imperfect.
 
  • #21
radou
Homework Helper
3,115
6
If you truly love someone, then you are blind to his/her imperfections. The question doesn't make sense (with "true love" mentioned in it).
 
  • #22
wolram
Gold Member
4,267
557
This is something that I never liked about myself because I hate it when people do it to me. Yet, a large part of what first attracts me to a woman is her appearance. That is only short-lived though. After the first few minutes of talking with someone my opinion of them can change drastically. I have no interest in a mean-spirited woman regardless of how good she looks. And the girl with volcanic acne might seem like someone that I would like to get to know better. Forming a physical relationship with the latter would take more time for all those little, meaningless imperfections to seem not so imperfect.
I guess it is a quirk of nature (natural selection) to be repulsed at first
by some physical imperfection, but as you say it is the person as a whole
that is important.
 

Related Threads on How many imperfections could one tolerate and still truly love someone

Replies
27
Views
4K
Replies
3
Views
2K
  • Last Post
Replies
1
Views
2K
  • Last Post
Replies
7
Views
3K
  • Last Post
3
Replies
51
Views
173K
Replies
1
Views
1K
  • Last Post
Replies
9
Views
2K
  • Last Post
2
Replies
33
Views
3K
Replies
59
Views
11K
  • Last Post
Replies
21
Views
4K
Top