I think the root cause of my question is that I am trying to understand is if gravity is not a force, it's just the result of curved spacetime - do we have a name for the force that bends space and slows time and it is the same force acting equally - does time slow in exact proportion to space bending - and if not, is that force pulling on space and time through the same mechanism? I know I am struggling to put a classical visualization on something that might not have a classical definition, but I think there is value in that struggle to help light the path ahead to a more accurate visualization in baby steps from the concrete to the abstract.