How often does helping someone out ever help?

[Evo]

There are huge problems that have to be solved first. Like, how do we teach mortgage lenders not to rape the economy?

As anyone that has purchased a home knows, you have to meet certain requirements. Many people that were turned down willingly pursued mortgage loans that they KNEW they didn't qualify for. It was the people applying that that were actually more at fault than the agent. The agent told them how to get around the checks, the buyers were the "criminals" that did it. If someone tells you how you can kill a person and you go out and actually kill someone, you are guilty of murder, not them.

When I was in my 20's, my husband and I were going to buy a larger house, and the agent told us that we could qualify if we did a "few things" to make it look like we could qualify. We said no thanks, and backed out.

Only an imbicile would not understand that that being told how to fake the amount of money they had was a red flag.

They told us to ask a family member to deposit money into our bank account before our balance was checked and leave it for at least a month. There was just a whole bunch of harmless little tricks we were told to do. I can't remember them all right now. Well, we weren't imbeciles, so we didn't get in over our heads. We waited until we were able to get a loan without playing tricks.

No more off topic. And please, if you quote someone, PLEASE use the quote function that links to the post so people do not have to hunt it down. Please? That's not you zoob.

 

[rootX]

Evo, I would like to add something before you block this thread for this thread being off topic. Please wait for few more hours before you consider that

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Sorry to hear about what your friend put you through.

So if I got this right, what you are saying is that the answer to the situation I described is that I should just put up with idiots like that and just let things slide. So instead of performing one task at work like I normally would, if I have to end up performing multiple tasks just because I am covering for someone else who is smoking by the backdoor or texting in the bathroom, then I should go ahead and do that just because lazy people are now an everyday phenomena?

There are different ways of dealing with this sort of thing. Myself being the sort that generally just does what needs to be done without complaint (except the usual b****ing to friends of course) I made the mistake of not saying anything when I was in a similar circumstance. Technically you should talk to a supervisor and let them know what is going on if your coworkers are screwing up or just screwing around and things are not getting done the way they are supposed to.

I used to be of the mindset that all I have to do is work hard and do a good job and my bosses would see this and reward me. That should be the way things are but unfortunately they are not. Instead, when I just knuckled under and did what needed doing, I often wound up receiving complaints against me. Because I never spoke up my bosses never knew what I was doing and what I was dealing with. On the other hand my lazy coworkers who liked to chat and socialize were constantly talking to the boss and making themselves out to be superheroes doing everything.

I understand, believe me, that work place politics is probably something you would rather steer clear of but actually keeping a line of communication open with your superiors is really essential to any good work place. You don't need to involve yourself with the politics but talking to your boss is very important. I have also dealt with short sighted and temperamental bosses so I understand that this will not always be possible either. After nearly three years at my last job I got fed up with my boss and left, he was in fact the worst part of that job, though I made sure I had a new job before I left.

In my current job I am lucky that I have very cool bosses even though the job itself sucks. A primary part of my work is conflict resolution so I have become rather familiar dealing with jerks and drama queens. I have actually found that in most cases a bit of diplomacy and communication is all that is really needed. People are often simply ignorant of their neighbours circumstances or just need a little reminder that there are in fact other people in the universe aside from them. Some are just implacable which is where communication with my superiors becomes imperative otherwise the things these people say about me could easily get me fired.

So now that I have gone on a complete tangent from the OP, to sum up, it is probably best to talk first with your coworkers, if you believe communication there is possible, and then speak with your superiors. If neither is possible then you may well be best served by finding a new job.

edit: To bring this back 'round to the OP, communicating with your leeches may be a good way of getting through this sort of thing. In the worst instances it does not help, I know from experience, but it is certainly worthwhile to try.

 

[rootX]

I was looking through humorous books at my library and coincidentally found "How to ruin your life" which perfectly describes losers as follows:

Don't Learn Any Useful Skills
Don't Learn Any Self-Discipline
Convince Yourself You're the Center of the Universe
Never accept any responsibility for anything that goes wrong
Criticize Early and Often
Never be Grateful
Envy Everything; Appreciate Nothing
Be a Perfectionist
Think Too Big
Don't Enjoy Simple Things in Life
Fix Anyone and Everyone At Any Time
Treat the People Who are Good to Your Badly
Treat the People Who Are Bad to Your Well
Hang Out with the Wrong Crowd
Make the People Around You Feel Small
Keep Score
Use Drugs and Alcohol Freely
Don't Save Any Money
Ignore Your Family
Know that the rules of reasonable, Decent Conduct Don't Apply to You
...

Author goes into 35 different chapter each explaining a different way on how to ruin your life.

 

[AUK 1138]

Set a man a fire and he's warm for a day.
Set a man afire and he's warm for the rest of his life.

I can't let this go unpraised. consider it praised.

 

[zoobyshoe]

The agent told them how to get around the checks, the buyers were the "criminals" that did it. If someone tells you how you can kill a person and you go out and actually kill someone, you are guilty of murder, not them.

There's more too it. The mortgage industry had run out of good, solid mortgages to bundle and sell to investors. They began actively encouraging all kinds of people who didn't qualify so they would have bundles to sell. Once sold, the bad investments were not their problem. The investors got raped, and then, ultimately, everyone because of the collapse of housing prices.

I honestly applaud you for not taking on a debt you knew you couldn't afford. Few who want to own their own home can resist the temptation.

The example set here by the mortgage industry is "take anything you can get away with". Makes it harder to teach kids not to leech in the face of mass, real world leeches. You probably remember the junk-bond upset from years back. Similar thing.

 

[ViewsofMars]

In your life experience, how often do people freeload in your opinion?

Dear OP, I've never met a freeloader. I have from time to time helped people out.