How to break up with a professor.

In summary, the conversation is about a student who is in a difficult situation where a professor wants them to work with him over the summer and in the future, but the student is not interested in the professor's area of research. The student is seeking advice on how to tell the professor that they would rather work with others in the department. Suggestions include being honest and straightforward with the professor, explaining that their interests align better with other professors, and discussing it in a polite and respectful manner. It is also mentioned that most professors are understanding and there should not be hard feelings about the decision.
  • #1
Darth Frodo
212
1
Hey guys,

In a bit of a sticky situation here. So, there is a prof. who wants me to work with him over the summer and then into the future, the issue is, his area of research is NOT what I see myself doing or even interesting.

My question is, how would you tell him that you would rather work with others in the department as opposed to him?

Any help would be appreciated.
 
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  • #2
Be honest and straight with the professor. He will most likely understand (and agree) and if he's a jerk it's good to know early.

No professor wants a student who isn't interested in the work.
 
  • #3
"Thanks for the offer, but I will be working with Prof. X instead"
 
  • #4
I was in the predicament myself. I'm currently finishing up a project from the winter with a mathematics professor. The program we applied to through my school is one for which we may apply to again for the summer. He emailed me a link to the application and asked if I wanted to apply to continue our work. The problem is that I need to begin research in physics with another professor. After an email to respond, I saw him and spoke with in person and he said "I got the message loud and clear." Having explained to him that I just needed to do what was most closely aligned with my interests, he understood. It's slightly less obvious when discussing work with professors within a department. But we have a professor who does work in networks. I have done an independent study with him, but I will never do research with him. Then again, he has never extended the invitation to me, but I have sent several students his way. Depending on how closely knit your department is you may be able to do something along those lines for your professor.

Similarly, I switched advisers (in a very small department). And I spoke with my now ex-adviser just to let him know my reasons for switching; that is, my current adviser's interests are the closest to mine and I find myself seeking her out regularly.

Overall, a quick polite man-to-man (person-to-person) conversation will clear the air. Most professors are very understanding of the fact that you need to do what's best for you. There are rarely hard feelings on the matter.
 
  • #5
This title led me to believe things I shouldn't...
 
  • #6
Hercuflea said:
This title led me to believe things I shouldn't...

Same with me :smile:.
I was :bugeye: at first.
 
  • #7
Just tell him you prefer the other guy's area of research. Is that so bad? You aren't exactly telling him he's an arse, or that he's not good enough for you. You're simply saying that you want to research something different.
 
  • #8
A long shot would be to look up your provessors past papers and thesis and see if he once worked in a field that did interest you. Perhaps he'd let you return to his youth.
 
  • #9
It's your life. The professor will get over it.
 
  • #10
Also tell him that it's not because you don't like him,it's because you simply does not like the field.
 
  • #11
adjacent said:
Also tell him that it's not because you don't like him,it's because you simply does not like the field.

Don't tell him that lol. The professor is professional enough without needing reassurances like "I still like you". Given that you're an undergrad, your professor probably won't care at all.
 
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FAQ: How to break up with a professor.

1. How do I approach breaking up with a professor?

Approaching a break up with a professor can be intimidating, but it's important to be direct and respectful. Schedule a meeting with your professor and explain your decision calmly and professionally. Be honest about your reasons for wanting to end the relationship and listen to their perspective as well.

2. Is it appropriate to break up with a professor while still in their class?

It is generally recommended to wait until after the semester or course has ended to break up with a professor. This allows for a smoother transition and avoids any potential awkwardness or conflicts of interest.

3. What should I do if my professor reacts negatively to the break up?

If your professor reacts negatively to the break up, it's important to remain calm and professional. Reiterate your decision and boundaries, and if necessary, seek support from a trusted advisor or administrator at your institution.

4. Can I still receive a letter of recommendation from my professor after breaking up with them?

It is ultimately up to the individual professor whether they are comfortable writing a letter of recommendation for you after the relationship has ended. However, if the break up was amicable and you maintained a good academic relationship, it is possible that they may still be willing to write a letter of recommendation.

5. How can I ensure that the break up does not negatively impact my academic career?

It's important to handle the break up professionally and respectfully. If there are any concerns about the impact on your academic career, it may be helpful to discuss them with a trusted advisor or administrator. It's also important to maintain a good relationship with your professor and continue to excel in your academic work.

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