I'm interest in resume feedback

[tempneff]

Hey everyone,

I'm an Electrical Engineering major in my third year now at Cal Poly Pomona after transferring from a city college. I am applying for undergraduate research internships this summer and would really appreciate feedback on my resume, especially from those in research.

I'd love to hear the initial impression it gives and any changes you recommend.

Thanks in advance

I posted it here - Resume

 

[Locrian]

I hate the personal profile. Boil it down to a single sentence - it doesn't say anything, anyways. If I was going through a stack of resumes and actually read the whole paragraph, I'd be angry with you by the end of it for wasting my time.

The self employed thing could do a lot for you, but here it doesn't because you didn't list anything good under the topic. Did you do a little light maintenance work on the side, or did you run a company that did serious business? I can't tell from what you listed. There are no successes, just a list of mundane stuff. I know homeowners who can claim to have done all of them just keeping their house in order.

Accomplishments! The only accomplishment you list on the entire resume is at the very bottom, with the design award! What did you accomplish in your business? Did it make money? How big were revenues? Did you do a lot of business?

It's tough putting together a list of accomplishments while still in school, I understand that. Most students have limited work experience and so have trouble building a solid sounding resume. You could be the exception, and really stand out.

 

[tempneff]

This is exactly what I' looking for, thank you!

This is my problem, I have a unique situation that is difficult to put on a resume but has value.

I am truly exceptional at repair and troubleshooting, but because I worked independently and on a small scale it is easy to discount.

Who is more valuable, as an example, a air conditioning contractor who comes to you and says 'your compressor is frozen and needs to be replaced, it will cost $1500' , or the handyman who says 'your compressor was frozen, I repaired it. That will be $150.'

I could build an entire house single-handed long before I had even heard of a differential equation. I can fix anything in your house to meet your need, be it cheapest, fastest, or 'the right way.' That's got to be worth something, but how does it translate?

 

[0xDEADBEEF]

I would also think that you're not specific enough. It sounds a lot like "I can build stuff" but no one knows if you are talking about houses or televisions. Maybe add some examples especially after the first bullet points.

Design and build structural & electrical elements
"I have for example build my own carport/space ship/pencil sharpener" or something like that. What kind of structures can/have you build.

"Develop and maintain project schedules and budgets" what have you ever build within a budget?

Even if you feel very competent in a lot of fields, give some example projects that you think would be interesting for a specific employer.

 

[AlephZero]

This is my problem, I have a unique situation that is difficult to put on a resume but has value.

I am truly exceptional at repair and troubleshooting, but because I worked independently and on a small scale it is easy to discount.

Get rid of the mananagement speak (e.g. "ability to self-start, work independently, time manage, and troubleshoot. I respond well to challenges and often work feverishly to meet them") and meaningless promises (e.g. "As an intern on your team I can undoubtedly accomplish any tasks presented to me") and concentrate on describing what you actually DID for the last 20 years.

If I was a cynic, I could equate your "general contruction and repair" business to "a guy who drives around in a white van and rips off vulnerable people by charging $500 an hour (cash payment only, in advance) for jobs that don't even need doing''. Write something to convince me that's not how you made your money...

 

[tempneff]

This is all very helpful.

I have a better idea now, I think..

Need I account for ALL of the last 20 years-ish? I was in food service for a few years, a professional in mental health for 5 years, some other random jobs.

@ Locrian: Are the last two 'awards' not note worthy? Although they were given by a JC, the school honors one student in math each year, and one student in engineering. I was awarded both. The engineering one is in collaboration with the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, which is where I am applying for internship.

 

[tempneff]

Is this editted resume better?

Thanks for the feedback everyone. I'd love more feedback on the new resume. Here

 

[Vanadium 50]

Need I account for ALL of the last 20 years-ish?

It's a good idea, if only so they know they weren't spent in prison.

 

[G01]

Thanks for the feedback everyone. I'd love more feedback on the new resume. Here

The new resume is much better than the first. There are still a few things I'd add:

1. What do you mean by "electrical systems." Be as specific as possible. People will notice if you are being vague.

2. The skill beginning with mechanically inclined does not add anything to the resume, and has a typo.

3. Do you have any experience with shop equipment? i.e. Bridgeport Mills, lathe, band saws, etc. ? If so, list each and every relevant tool you know how to use. (Within reason. For instance, don't bother including "hammer" in the list.) These type of skills go a LONG way in an engineering or experimental physics lab!

4. Along the same lines, do you have any experience with drafting i.e. AutoCAD, Solid Works? If so, say it explicitly!

5.You could include a one line explanation of the projects that got you the awards.

6. Vanadium is right, discuss more of your previous work experience. More is probably relevant than what you think. Experience that shows you can collaborate and work with others will go a long way. I'm thinking of "Mental Health Professional" etc. Remember to be specific.