Action and reaction, as described by Newton's third law, occur simultaneously and are part of a single interaction, but they are not instantaneous in the sense of propagating through space. The discussion highlights that while forces act at the same time, there is a finite delay in how these forces affect objects due to physical properties like deformation and the speed of sound in materials. The notion of "instantaneous" action is challenged by the reality that changes, such as gravitational effects, propagate at the speed of light, meaning there is a delay in observable effects. The conversation also critiques the use of the terms "action" and "reaction," suggesting they can lead to misunderstandings about the nature of forces. Overall, the complexities of physics, particularly in relation to time and perception, are emphasized, with a call for clearer definitions and understanding of these concepts.