Is it okay if your significant other cuddles with someone else?

[buster]

why is it freakin dude?

 

[dontdisturbmycircles]

Well like I've said constantly the only way it can be sorted is through talking with her. If she didn't live up to your expectations then that's too bad. I don't think that its a cause for the death of a relationship however. But perhaps I'm alone on that one

No you are not alone. I agree, if anything it might hint that she is not really happy with the relationship so maybe he could talk to her and find out what is wrong. It depends on a lot of things such as whether its a long term relationship and what not as well.

 

[buster]

ok will the moderators be kind enough to put a stop to this silly thread

 

[KingNothing]

You guys on PF analyze things way too much sometimes. I suppose it comes with the job. This isn't about my relationship. I'm perfectly happy with my girl and don't see any problems. I'm just asking a question to get a general idea of how many people have which opinion. So far about 95% of the people asked say they are not OK with it. This is not a question about how people should feel, so please don't attack the straw man who asked that question.

 

[JasonRox]

No you are not alone. I agree, if anything it might hint that she is not really happy with the relationship so maybe he could talk to her and find out what is wrong. It depends on a lot of things such as whether its a long term relationship and what not as well.

If you're a nice guy, sure that's ok. But with me, she's cut.

 

[dontdisturbmycircles]

Yes as I said before I tend to agree, but it depends on the type of 'cuddling', the stage of the relationship, and the shape of the clouds on that day.

In any case it wouldn't hurt to talk to her before you cut her off though right?

 

[Kurdt]

It really is a shame to confuse biological imperative with romantic conceit.

 

[JasonRox]

Yes as I said before I tend to agree, but it depends on the type of 'cuddling', the stage of the relationship, and the shape of the clouds on that day.

In any case it wouldn't hurt to talk to her before you cut her off though right?

Cuddling is cuddling. Exclusive relationship is an exclusive relationship.

She would be cut. She would have to make up for it. It's not for me to be "understanding" and "nice" about it. She disrespected me and the relationship.

 

[KingNothing]

It really is a shame to confuse biological imperative with romantic conceit.

I understood like every third word you said.
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost any question.

 

[Gale]

I'm not ok if my boyfriend wants to cuddle. But he's ok if I want to cuddle. I choose not to, since it doesn't seem right to me. Though, I do go on "dates" of a sort with my guy friends. I'm always sure that my boyfriend knows in advance, and that the guy I go out with is aware that I'm faithful to my boyfriend.

I can't explain why my boyfriend doesn't mind, since I really don't get it. We've been together for years though, and it works for us.

 

[Moonbear]

Touchy/feely girls don't cuddle with guys. It's exactly what the word describes. They are literally only touchy/feely.

If a girl in any way thinks it's ok to cuddle with another person of the opposite sex, you failed to lay down the law.

I think we may have different ideas in mind when we think of the word "cuddle." And, if someone thinks they must "lay down the law" then that is probably why she's cuddling with someone else.

 

[JasonRox]

I think we may have different ideas in mind when we think of the word "cuddle." And, if someone thinks they must "lay down the law" then that is probably why she's cuddling with someone else.

Nah, they like me too much. It's important to make it clear that you're exclusive if that is the case. That's pretty much what I'm saying.

 

[DaveC426913]

I think we may have different ideas in mind when we think of the word "cuddle."

The initial post mentions a pre-existing romantic interest, which - I hope - changes your answer.

And, if someone thinks they must "lay down the law" then that is probably why she's cuddling with someone else.

It seems to me it's more about providing some clarification one what appears to be an ambiguity in the relationship's "exclusivity" clause.

 

[devil-fire]

i would say "no, its not ok" because it would bother me if my significant other started cuddling with other people and because iv had friends whom have seen this kind of behavior in their significant others before they found out they were being cheated on

from my experience, this sort of thing is bad for a relationship

 

[sas3]

Can i get a list of the guys that said it's ok, and a picture of their significant others?

I need some cuddling.

 

[LightbulbSun]

I'm not ok if my boyfriend wants to cuddle. But he's ok if I want to cuddle. I choose not to, since it doesn't seem right to me. Though, I do go on "dates" of a sort with my guy friends. I'm always sure that my boyfriend knows in advance, and that the guy I go out with is aware that I'm faithful to my boyfriend.

I can't explain why my boyfriend doesn't mind, since I really don't get it. We've been together for years though, and it works for us.

Why are you not ok with him cuddling?

 

[buster]

I'm not ok if my boyfriend wants to cuddle. But he's ok if I want to cuddle. I choose not to, since it doesn't seem right to me. Though, I do go on "dates" of a sort with my guy friends. I'm always sure that my boyfriend knows in advance, and that the guy I go out with is aware that I'm faithful to my boyfriend.

I can't explain why my boyfriend doesn't mind, since I really don't get it. We've been together for years though, and it works for us.

not fair

 

[chaoseverlasting]

It seems to me it's more about providing some clarification one what appears to be an ambiguity in the relationship's "exclusivity" clause.

haha! Thats some way to put it. Unless you have an open relationship, I don't think its ok. I mean, if you're just out to have fun, then yeah, what the hell, other wise, no way.

 

[chaoseverlasting]

It really is a shame to confuse biological imperative with romantic conceit.

HAHAHAHAHAH! This one's better. This is turning out to be one funny thread!

 

[Moonbear]

Nah, they like me too much. It's important to make it clear that you're exclusive if that is the case. That's pretty much what I'm saying.

Okay, got it. It was just the way you said it that struck a sour note.

The initial post mentions a pre-existing romantic interest, which - I hope - changes your answer.

It did, although, from the OP, as far as I could tell, the romantic interest was only described as one way. I took it as a question of whether you'd interpret that scenario as an indication that the interest was reciprocated, or if you'd trust your significant other.

Since we now know this is entirely a hypothetical scenario, and not seeking advice, I fall back to my original answer, which was: No, it would not be okay with me.

 

[Gale]

Why are you not ok with him cuddling?

I'm just not ok with it. I'm ok if he wants to give one of his lady friends a hug or something, but that's about it. I don't really understand why he would want to cuddle with someone else. And I suppose I'm just to insecure to let him anyway.. something like that. Same reasons most people have I think... Just cause he's ok with it, doesn't change my opinion.

 

[Kurdt]

Anyway, I couldn't answer this question seriously because I really have no idea what I would do. My response would change depending on the many variables you forgot to crystalise.

 

[JasonRox]

Same reasons most people have I think...

I'm not insecure about it. The way I look at it is don't make rules you can't follow. If the girl wants to be casual, say so. I totally don't mind if she started seeing other guys because I'll be seeing other girls too. It's both ways or no way.