Is This Normal Behavior or a Sign of Bullying?

[heman]

That's really not worth much if your ass is being kicked, right ?

I say, you need to intimidate your opponent by displaying a total lack of fear. Ignore, but do NOT back down.

That's the only true masculine reaction you can give in such a situation.

marlon

that sounds better..indeed much better..Marlon is a man!

 

[Moonbear]

C'mon, that's the entire point of fighting right ? You must ALWAYS assume that you are going to win a fight, especially if you are being attacked.

When attacked, it's self-defense. I'm referring to starting fights, not self-defense.

How about the pre-emptive strike? If you are surrounded by 4 dudes, just knock out two of them as soon as you can. I mean, catch them by surprise, knock them between the ..., I dunno...But DO something and don't think that talking will get you out of trouble.

A pre-emptive strike guarantees you're going to be in a fight because it means YOU started it. If you catch one or two by surprise (I doubt you'll get two...you might get a sucker punch in on one), you pretty much guarantee you're going to be jumped by the rest. It's much better to look for an out. I'm not saying to stand there and talk, I'm saying to get yourself OUT of the situation before it comes to violence. Walk away, run away, duck into a nearby store and just avoid getting into a fight in the first place. That's not the same as standing there being a punching bag if you get cornered and they start into you.

 

[Astronuc]

It is best not fight - certainly do not start a fight pre-emptively.

And try to avoid situations in which might put on in a fight.

I would prefer to try to talk my way out first.

The adversary's email does appear conciliatory.

"i am very sorry..
Rezen was saying that you were hurted and neck is aching.i am deeply regretted,i never want to fight with any of my friends.you can't imagine the deepness of grief surrounding me since yesterday.it was just a spurt of anger and everything was flown.Though,it may not be possible to fill the gap which has been created but we can some how cover it.i can't loose a friend like you and frankly telling i am in need of you.i like your company,your friendship and especially your laughter.
Please try to forgive me and please forget the nonsense created by me.!
get well soon and start studying."

To bad he did not think of this before hand. I would recommend saving the email as evidence of his behavior - should the matter come up later.

Perhaps one can accept the apology, but let it be known that such behavior in future is not acceptable.

 

[marlon]

When attacked, it's self-defense.

That is not true because there are several ways to defend yourself. Youcan defend yourself in a "defensive way" (ie countering the attack like a judo player would do) or in an "offensive way" (knocking the living hell out of your opponent and hurting him/her)

A pre-emptive strike guarantees you're going to be in a fight because it means YOU started it.

Nope it doesn't. You will get attacked anyway if you do not do anything. You attack to prevent this upcoming attack from your opponents, that's the entire point and this is not what you are talking about.

It's much better to look for an out.

Ofcourse it is, but this is all theory. We are clearly talking/referring to situations where this is not possible. We are looking at a situations where you WILL get attacked.

Walk away, run away, duck into a nearby store and just avoid getting into a fight in the first place.

I am sorry but this is "kitty" behaviour. What about standing your ground, defending your honour, etc etc ? If you always run away from possible physical conflicts, people will get to know what kind of sissy you are. This reputation makes you a weak personality and people will take advantage of that to annoy you, profit from you, disrespect you, laugh with you,...Situations like this occur very often (to some extent) in high schools, professional life, etc etc.

I say we need to stop being such moral sissies and start reacting the way we really want to react when faced with danger. Let's get rid of these fake "i want to stay polite/avoid any conflict"-type of reactions, because they do not help in conflict situations. They don't allow for us to deal with anger and fear in a human-natural-way (this generates frustration) and they are responsible for the violent behaviour we see with frustrated high school kids that don't have any taste for discipline.



marlon

 

[Moonbear]

Situations like this occur very often (to some extent) in high schools, professional life, etc etc.

You're kidding, right? If not, I hope never to visit where you live if it's that violent! In high schools, yes, because people are still too immature to know how to deal with conflict without fighting. That's why I say a MAN is the one with the sense to avoid the fight; immature boys get into fights. Professional life? Yeah, right, there are fist fights breaking out left and right in corporate headquarters around the world. If you solve problems with physical strength, that just makes you a bully.

Keep in mind, we're talking about physical fighting here. We're not talking about standing your ground in a dispute or argument that's non-violent. If you run into 4 thugs on the street with no other goal than to pulverize you, it's not wimpy to get the heck out of there; it's the smart thing to do. Standing your ground doesn't mean much when you're lying in the ER with a bloody nose, missing teeth, and a few cracked ribs, or worse if they're carrying weapons. Maturity is knowing when it's worth standing up for yourself and when it's best to just avoid the confrontation for your own self-preservation. Even if you "won" the fight, what honor is there to be gained from fighting with a bunch of thugs? There's nothing honorable about that; you've just stooped to their level.

 

[marlon]

You're kidding, right? If not, I hope never to visit where you live if it's that violent!

Hey, i ain't no fighter, I'm a lover

Professional life? Yeah, right,

Ok, i admit that was a bad example.

If you run into 4 thugs on the street with no other goal than to pulverize you, it's not wimpy to get the heck out of there; it's the smart thing to do.

Well, here i don't agree. I prefer to let them know who they are dealing with.

Standing your ground doesn't mean much when you're lying in the ER with a bloody nose, missing teeth, and a few cracked ribs, or worse if they're carrying weapons.

That's the risk that is involved. The only thing you can do is make sure you can throw your fists when it is most needed.

Maturity is knowing when it's worth standing up for yourself and when it's best to just avoid the confrontation for your own self-preservation.

I agree.

Even if you "won" the fight, what honor is there to be gained from fighting with a bunch of thugs?

The fact that you have escaped a vissit to the hospital and the fact that you were not blown away by some losers that, for some reason, wanted to blow you away.

There's nothing honorable about that;

Neither is walking away like a sissy.

you've just stooped to their level.

Well, true but sometimes you need to do that so that they understand what is going on. I mean, isn't that what "teaching" is all about, hm ?

In is the same way you should act like this when you are dealing with people that are not willing to reason/listen/hear you out...


marlon

 

[Astronuc]

Keep in mind, we're talking about physical fighting here. We're not talking about standing your ground in a dispute or argument that's non-violent. If you run into 4 thugs on the street with no other goal than to pulverize you, it's not wimpy to get the heck out of there; it's the smart thing to do. Standing your ground doesn't mean much when you're lying in the ER with a bloody nose, missing teeth, and a few cracked ribs, or worse if they're carrying weapons. Maturity is knowing when it's worth standing up for yourself and when it's best to just avoid the confrontation for your own self-preservation. Even if you "won" the fight, what honor is there to be gained from fighting with a bunch of thugs? There's nothing honorable about that; you've just stooped to their level.

This is why women need to be in charge of the world!

Moonbear for President of the US in 2008 - and Empress of the World!

 

[heman]

To bad he did not think of this before hand. I would recommend saving the email as evidence of his behavior - should the matter come up later.

Perhaps one can accept the apology, but let it be known that such behavior in future is not acceptable.

Thats nice thing to do..for such people..

if he repeats such thing in Future ,what should be done then?/

 

[Astronuc]

Thats nice thing to do..for such people..

if he repeats such thing in Future ,what should be done then?/

Well, one has to decide if one wishes to continue the friendship. Perhaps this friend is truly sorry and repentant.

At this point, maintain the dialogue and see what happens. Hopefully, there will be no repeat of the hostile behavior.

It is appropriate to make one's disappointment known and indicate that there should be no such behavior in the future.

 

[marlon]

This is why women need to be in charge of the world!

Yeah, i have heard some other people say the exact same thing. That and the fact that I would be a BAD politician. I really wonder why that is

marlon

 

[Astronuc]

Anyone who appreciates Mozart can't be all that bad.

 

[marlon]

Anyone who appreciates Mozart can't be all that bad.

Again a very diplomatic answer.

marlon

 

[heman]

Moonbear for President of the US in 2008 - and Empress of the World!

who knows...may be she is the one born to guide..

And Marlon,
Moonbear can bite too!