My friend can't find her cat - I know what happened to it - It's not good

  • Thread starter Thread starter Newai
  • Start date Start date
AI Thread Summary
A friend is uncertain about whether to inform another friend that her missing cat has been killed and disposed of by city workers. The consensus among participants is that honesty is crucial, as not knowing prolongs grief and worry. Some argue that revealing the truth may lead to feelings of guilt or distress, while others believe it could allow for closure and the possibility of adopting another pet. The discussion highlights the emotional complexities of delivering bad news and the potential consequences of withholding information. Ultimately, it is suggested that the friend should share what she knows to provide clarity and peace of mind.
  • #51
Proton Soup said:
please don't suggest this. he'll own the cat. kittens can be very hard to home out. our humane society here would take it, but it only keeps them for 24 hours. we had a stray dump a couple of litters on us before we managed to cage her and get her fixed. some i managed to find homes through craigslist, but the puppy warriors there make it very difficult for you. overall, it was a very unpleasant experience i don't want to repeat any time soon.
Some shelters let you "trial" an animal to see if it works out. That's what I'm suggesting.
 
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  • #52
Proton Soup said:
please don't suggest this. he'll own the cat. kittens can be very hard to home out. our humane society here would take it, but it only keeps them for 24 hours. we had a stray dump a couple of litters on us before we managed to cage her and get her fixed. some i managed to find homes through craigslist, but the puppy warriors there make it very difficult for you. overall, it was a very unpleasant experience i don't want to repeat any time soon.

Nah. In my case, I'd be fine with one if she doesn't take it. Had my own about a decade ago.
 
  • #53
Proton Soup said:
unless there's some kind of restraining order in place.

Pretty much the case. They need to stay away from each other.
 
  • #54
might as well get one you'd like then
 
  • #55
Evo said:
Some shelters let you "trial" an animal to see if it works out. That's what I'm suggesting.

That just seems sad. I suppose its better than animals not being taken care of or "set free" though.
 
  • #56
TheStatutoryApe said:
That just seems sad. I suppose its better than animals not being taken care of or "set free" though.
Consider taking care of it wasn't what you expected, doesn't get along with a current pet, children hurting it. Better to go back to the safety of the shelter for a good adoption.
 
  • #57
Evo said:
Consider taking care of it wasn't what you expected, doesn't get along with a current pet, children hurting it. Better to go back to the safety of the shelter for a good adoption.
Here, it can cost $150 to remove a dog from a public shelter, and $150 more to surrender the dog if things don't work out. I have no idea what the cat fees are, though with the explosive growth in feral cat populations, the Humane Society might wish to pay you to take a cat.
 
  • #58
Consider this, "Three can keep a secret if two are dead." (Benjamin Franklin)

You buy a kitten, and all it takes is someone slipping up, or this other fellow to scuttle it, and now you're left in a worse situation than if you'd told the truth.

It's folly to think that given how many people know about this, it's a secret you can keep.
 
  • #59
turbo-1 said:
Here, it can cost $150 to remove a dog from a public shelter, and $150 more to surrender the dog if things don't work out. I have no idea what the cat fees are, though with the explosive growth in feral cat populations, the Humane Society might wish to pay you to take a cat.

The shelter I was at a few months back had cut the cat fees 50%. It was so sad looking at all those kittens stuffed in their cages, like a prison. Though by scale I think their cages are probably smaller than a jail cell. Moments like that are so depressing, but the staff were very nice and caring.
 
  • #60
Did a Moderator insert this link? What is this for? This doesn't have anything to do with the cat situation.[PLAIN]http://img696.imageshack.us/img696/6097/scratchhead.gif



[PLAIN]http://img822.imageshack.us/img822/2228/whatisthisq.jpg
 
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  • #61
Newai said:
This is such a huge can of worms. The city worker who disposed of the carcass had a huge fallout with her. Led to jail time, in fact.

All this over a dead cat. Part of me thinks it might be better to let it die.

Newai said:
But I didn't know at that time. The city worker told me it was her cat, and he actually took care of it for a few years because he was her stepfather.

A can of worms.

Newai said:
No no. Her former stepfather disposed of it.

Proton Soup said:
well that makes it worse. seems like he'd have a higher responsibility to deliver the news, tho, unless there's some kind of restraining order in place.

Newai said:
Pretty much the case. They need to stay away from each other.

This sounds like a very strange family, including the girl. If the cat's been gone this long, she knows it's gone for good. The "found a new family" is just a "happy thought" since it really doesn't matter whether the cat's dead or living with someone else.

In any event, the kitty scenario has pretty much played itself out. Next phase is the unplanned pregnancy and single parenthood - that will make the family dynamics much more interesting than just a mere kitten.

As neighbors, they have some entertainment value, but I wouldn't be trying to develop any serious relationships with anyone in that family.
 
  • #62
Newai said:
Did a Moderator insert this link? What is this for? This doesn't have anything to do with the cat situation.[PLAIN]http://img696.imageshack.us/img696/6097/scratchhead.gif

Certain terms related to the sciences (usually physics) are automatically linked.

Lets say I have an impulse to get the government to achieve greater momentum re the action in Libya.
I didn't link any of that, but it auto-links to the library.
 
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  • #63
Sorry about your dead cat. I had one 4 years ago, died 2 months after my ownership, but i still believe it's alive whenever I see any cat!
 
  • #64
Oooh... someone didn't read the thread before posting...
 
  • #65
nismaratwork said:
Certain terms related to the sciences (usually physics) are automatically linked.

Lets say I have an impulse to get the government to achieve greater momentum re the action in Libya.
I didn't link any of that, but it auto-links to the library.

he can't see you
 
  • #66
I second that you shouldn't get her a new kitten. Let her make the decision on that one herself, when she's moved on emotionally. It's also possible she'd want an older cat with an established personality, or one that "finds her."

Furthermore, you don't have to give her details on "who" disposed of the cats remains... Saying "a city worker" would be enough.
 
  • #67
Proton Soup said:
he can't see you

Oh, I know, but I simply don't care.
 
  • #68
physics girl phd said:
Furthermore, you don't have to give her details on "who" disposed of the cats remains... Saying "a city worker" would be enough.

That would tell her everything.
 
  • #69
BobG said:
This sounds like a very strange family, including the girl. If the cat's been gone this long, she knows it's gone for good. The "found a new family" is just a "happy thought" since it really doesn't matter whether the cat's dead or living with someone else.

In any event, the kitty scenario has pretty much played itself out. Next phase is the unplanned pregnancy and single parenthood - that will make the family dynamics much more interesting than just a mere kitten.

As neighbors, they have some entertainment value, but I wouldn't be trying to develop any serious relationships with anyone in that family.

:smile:
 
  • #70
BobG said:
The "found a new family" is just a "happy thought" since it really doesn't matter whether the cat's dead or living with someone else.

What?
 

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