Navigating a Failed Coop: Finding My Best Career Option

[Werg22]

Thank you all for the advices. I will be getting kicked out of the coop program, and will need to do 3 consecutive school terms in order to catch up, so I won't be able to exercise all of this. At least, I'm hoping I can find internships opportunities over the summers to come (not this one, I'll be at school).

 

[quadraphonics]

Rereading the OP, I notice that Werg doesn't mention getting any negative feedback directly from coworkers; their position is solely represented by the supervisor. So, one has to wonder if this is as much a personality conflict with the employer as a problem purely with Werg. It may be that the employer was drumming up their opinions to make himself sound more righteous. On the other hand, maybe not, but Werg seemed pretty blindsided by this charge, and also seems pretty sincere about aknowledging that he has faults and trying to work on them, which is not the kind of attitude that I associate with the sort of grating primadonna personality that he's been accused of having. I've known plenty of primadonnas in my career, and they invariably respond to criticism of this sort with bluster and counteraccusation, which has been notably absent here. After all, the kind of people who internalize criticism don't tend to become primadonnas in the first place...

I guess what I'm getting at is that it might be worthwhile to get in contact with some of the coworkers directly and ask them what, if anything, was problematic about working with you. Particularly if the work setting was such that you spent more time with them than with the supervisor. It may be that circumstances are not what they've been portrayed to be. You may even find out that many of the coworkers have had similar experiences, or it could even be that one of them has a personality clash with you and went to the supervisor to cause problems for you.

But, either way, it is important to keep in mind that whenever you start working in a new setting, you're the low man on the totem pole and will be expected to prove yourself on work that is boring or otherwise undesirable. It's basically a hazing process; if you take it in stride, you end up bonding with everyone, and if you resent it, it causes everyone to dislike you because they all had to go through it when they started.

 

[f95toli]

But, either way, it is important to keep in mind that whenever you start working in a new setting, you're the low man on the totem pole and will be expected to prove yourself on work that is boring or otherwise undesirable.

Well, yes. But it is important to remember that no line of work is fun and interesting all the time. It doesn't really matter how far you have reached on the career ladder; there are always boring and tedious tasks that need to be done. Obvious examples in academia are e.g. writing grant proposals, reports, marking exams etc (and senior researchers have do handle far more paperwork than e.g. PhD students and postdocs). These things are nevertheless an important part of the job so we just have to accept that some days are less fun than others and do our best even when doing something we think is boring.

 

[Mathemaniac]

I have to say, I would be royally pissed if an employer had a problem with my attitude, as well as being aware of other coworkers having problems with my attitude, but didn't notify me of it until it was time for me to leave. To me, there is just something so wrong about that. I'm very much an advocate of self-critique and self-improvement, but sometimes that can't happen without the input of other people.

The fact that he waited so long to tell you all of this makes me think he wasn't doing his job properly as a supervisor. Evidently, he received these complaints, and did virtually nothing about them until you were leaving. That sort of inaction brings his competence as a supervisor into question.

Nevertheless, don't let these words of mine go to your head. What he did finally tell you is a very important lesson, perhaps in humility, among other things. Teamwork is a skill you have to learn, and I do believe it is learnable, depending on the person. Just don't give into despair or self pity. We all have our demons that we must do battle with, and we've only lost when we surrender. Of course, being aware and honest of their existence is half the battle, so perhaps now that you are aware of it, you can begin improving yourself in that respect.

But yeah, I like quadraphonics' suggestion to consult with your coworkers and get their direct input. I would also contact the supervisor for further answers, perhaps specifics, and ask why he waited so long to tell you all of this. Maybe he has a reason? I can't imagine one good enough, as doing so is utterly inconsiderate, disrespectful, and incompetent. Do these things politely, of course. Politely explain your situation and ask for honest answers. Be sincere in your desire for self-improvement. If you receive harsh criticism, don't get angry (but don't get sad either).

 

[NeoDevin]

From the OP

...Of course, I was suspecting this before he informed me of it, but this gave me clear confirmation...

He was not completely blindsided here, apparently there was some foreshadowing. (though I do agree that the employer should have made a point of mentioning it as soon as it became an issue)

 

[quadraphonics]

From the OP


He was not completely blindsided here, apparently there was some foreshadowing. (though I do agree that the employer should have made a point of mentioning it as soon as it became an issue)

I thought that that part of the OP referred to his not being very productive, rather than not getting along with coworkers? I meant my previous post to refer to the issues with teamwork, rather than motivation per se...

 

[quasar_4]

You can't always do exactly what you want to at work. It's important to pursue the things that interest you, but just because one problem is not as exciting as the one you like doesn't mean you can get away with not doing it. It's part of working towards something bigger than yourself, you have to make sacrifices for that something, and if you're not interested in anything greater than yourself, then you're probably not in the right field.

Saying that you don't take interest into things that aren't theoretical enough is like saying you like the view from the top of the mountain but don't want to bother with the hike to the top. Sometimes you must confront the mundane to get to the thrill. And it DOES convey an arrogant attitude (even if you don't mean it to), because it's like saying "you slugs do this stupid problem, I'm not contributing unless it's an interesting advanced problem".

 

[Dylanette]

The best approach to change is to humble yourself by taking a miserable job that you hate. If you are a bright Ph.D, Mathematician, Physicist, etc. take a job at McDonald's. Or,take a part time job sweeping floors somewhere or doing some simple, mundane, and menial task. While I was in graduate school I took a job, don't laugh... cleaning toilets. I even got a bonus for cleaning the basement toilets which were not my responsibility. Even though I was working towards a graduate degree where I was supposed to use my brain, the tools of my paid trade were the bucket, mop, swab, disinfectant and pine cleanser, and everyone and their sons with no college whatsoever was my boss. To say the least the job was miserable, boring, and demeaning. But it was an honest living and it made me loyal and humble. I quickly learned that no job was beneath me and I also learned that with all my advanced education I was not better than anyone else. With all my advanced degrees and all my theoretical math I still had just as much to learn from the man who worked with me who didn't even have a high school education. Not only will such a position make you humble and not only will you come to realize that no job, no matter how mundane is beneath you, but you will learn to be just as proud of the simple jobs you do as you are
proud of your advanced intellectual work. I was just as proud of my toilet cleaning and the tools of my trade as I was about my academic achievements. Even though I hated the job.

 

[amz8601]

forget it. maybe he was the jerk, not you.

true, something to consider...but we have a great saying...

when you go to point at someones faults always assess youself 3 times before you assess them

this can be seen when you point your index finger, u automatically have your other 3 fingers pointing at yourself...this is a sign and its meaning is above...always assess yourself 3 times before you assess others...only then will you be successful.

if i were you i would take it as a wake up call, you life isn't over mate so don't get upset or think its over before its begun...maybe this is a sign from god to prepare you for a future more important job that you would have lost if u didnt assess your life and character that this job has prompted you to do...

am i making sense?

good luck and if you need help we're all here to chip in...

;)

 

[mathwonk]

i do not see any evidence at all in your original statement, that my suggestion your supervisor may be a jerk, is totally off the mark.

what seems odd to me is both his and your assumption that ability to survive in the workplace is a sort of body type, rather than a learned behavior.to me it seems your professor's scathing remarks show no capacity at all for helpful advice. this is not exactly model managerial behavior.

e.g. his remarks remind me of the comment above that my advice was the worst in the whole thread. anytime anyone says you are the worst whatever of their whole life, or the dumbest guy in the world, or yo mama is the ugliest in the country, ... well you get the pattern, then that person has an issue with you, since such comments are seldom true, (note i do not say never).

and as far as workplace behavior goes, academia is about the worst example of it i know of. i have had dozens of jobs, waiting tables, construction, insurance office work, liquor store counter work, delivering refrigerators, aircraft plant worker, meat lugging, moving, and math professor.

in all of these jobs performance matters, as well as getting along with coworkers. but in academics, i am embarrassed to say that very mediocre performance is tolerated, and rude criticism of underlings is often taken as a perq by A-H professors.

So try asking some other people what they think of this one prof. maybe it is a pattern that he exaggerates and flays underlings. on the other hand if you hear differently, take heed. but don't beat yourself up too much, there are always plenty of volunteers for that job.

 

[DavidWhitbeck]

I completely agree with mathwonk on this. The prof was clearing being abusive and not constructive.

If you start hearing the same thing from other people, then it's time to take action, but don't necessarily let one jerk get you down.

 

[Moonbear]

but don't beat yourself up too much, there are always plenty of volunteers for that job.

Now there's great advice.

One other thought...since his review is keeping you from getting another coop position, it might be worth a talk with the coop director. If this particular supervisor gave you no forewarning of deficiencies to correct them, the coop director should be made aware of this, either to potentially give you a second chance, or at the least, to steer other students away from that particular coop.