Nine Months Later - Career Guidance Still Needed More Than Ever

[nevere]

i'm in sort of the same situation as you are, from what you've said i believe you need to find a medication that is more effective so you can stay awake and control symtoms before you start looking for work.

if you don't mind me asking, what kind of medications are you on?

 

[StatGuy2000]

To the other posters here, I find it quite surprising that many of you consider teaching (in particular high school teaching) as a low-stress job. From what I recall when I was in high school (many years ago), teachers often expended considerable energy in handling the "troublemakers" (i.e. the smart-asses, the class clowns, the disruptive types, etc.) on top of teaching the curriculum. Frankly, this is hardly what I call "low-stress", and is certainly not a good fit for someone with paranoid tendencies.

To the OP:

I am so sorry to hear about your predicament, and truly feel for your situation. I know someone who suffered a serious mental illness (one of my close friends is her legal guardian), and understand how she struggles just to get by on a daily basis.

In an ideal situation, you really should have someone in your life who can help you to cope and adjust to your day-to-day activities and providing for your welfare (as my friend does); in the absence of that, I'm not sure what I can suggest.

I concur with what Nano-Passion states that perhaps a part-time position may be best. Since you already have a mathematical background, perhaps I can suggest that you spend the time when you are most functional to teaching yourself some programming languages, so that perhaps you can take on a part-time telecommuting position in software or IT work. These are intellectually challenging and since you are telecommuting, you don't have to directly interact with people face-to-face. Anything related to phone work could also be an option.

Just my humble 2 cents worth here. I wish you all the best.

 

[NegativeDept]

To the other posters here, I find it quite surprising that many of you consider teaching (in particular high school teaching) as a low-stress job.

I didn't mean to imply that it's low-stress! I've been in and out of teaching work for almost 15 years, and I agree that it can be very stressful. I only mean to say that it's a particular type of stress for which some people are better suited than others.

Frankly, this is hardly what I call "low-stress", and is certainly not a good fit for someone with paranoid tendencies.

Hm, that does sound like a valid and important point.

I suggested teaching because it sounds like TheEigenvalue has a track record of doing well as a teacher. OP: in your experience, did your condition negatively affect your teaching? I know some people find that teaching gives them mental clarity - and for others, it's quite the opposite.

 

[Riothamus]

I am afraid I am in a position to provide nothing authoritative, only recommendations based on personal experience, personal observation, and casual reading.

As far as the matter of employment, have you considered trying to go into business for yourself? For example, you loved the process of teaching - perhaps offering yourself as a private tutor. This would let you target people who need to learn things, skip most of the politics, and perhaps most advantageously allow you to select your own hours. You could even target college kids. Try for a school near you with a high population of upper class students.

Another related suggestion would be to find something enabling you to work from home, which often are flexible on the subject of hours and furthermore would insulate you from various stressors, i.e. being in public or a group work environment.

As a final note on employment, you mentioned that you are 25. I point out that you (we, since I am 27) are not yet old; if we are conscientious in our choices and stay mentally active, we may reasonably expect a minimum of 50 more years of fine function. Jumping right from nothing to a career is a pressure, but a false one. Indeed, the idea of a career is in the process of getting a kick in the teeth; the average person, I have read, changes jobs six times over their professional life. Further, the second most in-demand category of education is Liberal Arts degrees, on the strength of versatility and communication skills. According to a conversation I had with a former recruiter and current marketer for a profession-based non-profit, market research suggests that a diverse skill set will be the course of the future as whole industries rise and fall in the span of single 'careers'.

As far as tackling your set of personal problems are concerned, I have a couple of suggestions, which are vague because of my lack of authority to offer any prescription and lack of knowledge about all your details.

First, keep yourself gainfully occupied. If employment is not on offer, when you are not searching, find something else to do. Continuing to learn is huge - since you were going to be a professor, your ability to do so must be strong. Amplify something you understand only the basics of, or return to mathematics on your own - EdX, free courses online from Stanford, Khan Academy, a public library, it matters not. Furthermore, if you search Ronin Institute you may find the opportunity to contribute to scholarship outside of academia. The movement is young, however, so you can reasonably expect minimal support - but perhaps a larger impact.

Quick aside, perhaps securing a technical certification of some sort would be feasible. The training is usually short, the hours often flexible especially through a local community college, and employment is often guaranteed by perpetual shortage. It is also cheap, and financial aid may be available for the certification or someone with your general category of condition.

Have you considered something like volunteer work? It has been suggested several times elsewhere in the thread that you seek out support groups for people with your condition specifically or as a category. Perhaps if one is lacking, or you want a different focus, you could look into starting one. Given that other members of this forum have expressed the ability to empathize, and either are themselves or know someone who is suffering from similar problems, the people are there to help. I myself have experienced, and it has long been demonstrated, that helping others is a very effective motivator and mood adjuster.

To say that it will help your resume is somewhat misleading, for everything you do for free is unconditionally inferior to what you do for pay, but the flip side of the coin is any work you do no matter the circumstance is unconditionally superior to not doing any work at all.

Another point is on the networking front. This is, to my mind, a really poorly emphasized concept, because the articulation of it consists of having every person you ever met in your rollodex and then calling around begging for jobs. The implication is that if it is big enough, you'll get one. This is false, and as far as I know in professional circles considered awful form in the first place. Your network is only as good as your social connections, and that is the primary function of it. It simply has professional benefits, namely inside information. If you lack a network, then you shall grow one. It isn't any different from making friends, really, except you add the professional dimension to your decisions about whether to keep in touch with people or not. It's not much of a jump for me, so far - interesting person? Keep 'em. They do something interesting? Keep 'em, too. How many people do something interesting but are themselves totally boring? Win-win. Of course, I haven't worked mine for anything yet, so my attitude on the process may yet sour...[chuckles]

Nutrition and exertion: I read that medical professionals tend to over look this in cases where it isn't an obvious problem, but have you considered changing the way you eat or adjusting your physical activity to improve your lifestyle? Claims that running cures depression directly are demonstrated to be false, but I cannot recall reading anything that doesn't suggest a positive correlation between proper nutrition and physical fitness and mental health. Given that you are up against a suite of medications that make you drowsy, you might find adjustments for the purposes of boosting metabolism or avoiding lethargy beneficial. I have long experience with using exercise to promote wakefulness - perhaps a morning workout regimen would help. It could also provide you with an opportunity to observe measurable improvements in your performance. Interesting reading on both subjects can be found in Born to Run, and The China Study. It wouldn't resolve your condition, but it might help you feel better in every other arena, and thus make it easier to live with.

You might find the subject of Neuroplasticity interesting, which is to say the brain's propensity to develop new neural connections throughout your lifetime. There is a new book, which I have not read, about using the new concepts to reacquire lost brain function from trauma. I do not see why steady erosion from psychosis should be different. And NYT ran an article concerning using a memory game daily to improve your intelligence.

None of these things are guaranteed to help, but they might, and even if they don't, at least you are taking deliberate steps to improve yourself. That is no mean thing for anyone, condition or no.

The book: Neuroplasticity and Rehabilitation, by Sarah A. Raskin.

NYT articles: Search "can you make yourself smarter" and "how exercise could lead to a better brain" on Google. The articles should come up.

My brother has been diagnosed with a severe case of bipolar disorder. His life has been irretrievably destroyed by it, and needlessly. I say to you that you may be afflicted, but you are far from helpless.

 

[meldraft]

Here's a few points you might want to consider:

First, I would suggest that you first find a stress-free (part-time) job (any job). I believe that the feeling of accomplishment you will get by making your way through life like everyone else would be very beneficial to you. Once you establish a certain equilibrium in your life, then you can start changing it in small ways to make it better. From what I can tell, what you really lack is equilibrium.

Second, have you considered private tutoring? It pays pretty well, and usually your students are much more interested in what you're teaching than the average HS students. An even more rewarding case would be tutoring undergraduate students. These guys are often much more interesting to instruct. It would also solidify your understanding of the subjects if you ever decide to complete that PhD.

Third, lay out a plan. You say that you want to be a professor, I say go for it. You don't have to (or can't) do it hard (like most of us), so do it smart (you say you're a pretty smart guy ). If the problem is that you can't handle the pressure of a PhD, then do it more slowly. Get a part time job to sustain yourself and take your time doing it, just for your own satisfaction. If abstract mathematics is too hard for you right now, consider something less taxing on your mind, for instance some engineering application (highly depends on the case, but you get my drift). Once you have your degree in some years, it's possible that you can replace your part-time job with something you enjoy much more. Again, lay out a plan. Planning is much more effective than medication in order to reduce stress.

Other things you could do could involve working at home. My first suggestion would have been to start your own business, maybe writing software or something similar (if you have programming skills), but this is a very stressful way of living. Instead, how about writing apps and selling them as a way to complement your income? As long as you don't have a boss, deadlines, and having to worry about how to survive, I can imagine one can work in a pretty stress-free fashion . If it takes off at some point, you could do it full time.

Also, I believe working long and hard in academia is overrated. I spent the last 1.5 years working ~12 hours a day and I found that my brain simply stopped working effectively very early in the process. I started forgetting things and taking far too long to do math, which simply lead to working even more. I now try to work a healthy 7-8 hours a day and it works much better.

My last advice for you would be not to be afraid of life. You suffered a great loss, but it's going to be the end of your dreams only if you let it. Many of us are stuck in low-paying jobs that we don't fully enjoy. But by doing so, we also make our way through life until something better comes along, making ourselves more employable in the process. Trust me, as much as you would dislike "waited tables for 2 years" or "student tutor for 2 years" in your CV, it still beats the hell out of "unemployed for 2 years".

So lay out a plan to make your dreams happen (even adjust them accordingly), take it easy, and try to enjoy life as much as you can. You may get your PhD at 37 instead of 27, but you can still get it. We are young, and we tend to think that when something very bad happens it is the end of the world, but we are wrong. There is a full life to be lived, and we must each live it with what we've got. It is really unfortunate that you have such difficulties, but try to take comfort in the fact that you are not alone. Everyone has their cross to carry. I knew a guy doing his PhD. He was really great at it, but then his father died and he had to give it all up to run the family business and support his 4 brothers and sisters.

Bottom-line, we always tend to want something ideal out of life, but please take comfort in the fact that most people really have trouble realising their dreams in the end

 

[andryd9]

Eigenvalue, I am sorry for all that you are going through. It sounds as though you are still in the midst of dealing with your emotions regarding all of this- acceptance of loss and change is a task unto itself and takes time. What I mean by this is that you don't have to commit right now to your ideal path. Simply identify the best options available to you in each moment and take small steps. If you do this, you will move closer to your ultimate goal than if you kept your eye on the highest peak and judged yourself against it. I am no expert on anything, heaven knows, but my first thought when reading your account is to consider technical writing as a short term goal. This would allow you to focus on the areas you are interested in, and may help you to become a part of a community. I don't know how much you would earn, but you would be doing relevant work. Your symptoms will likely stabilize as you move out of your twenties, and you will get better at managing your strengths and weaknesses, at any rate. There is time enough for you to reach the place you will happily fit.

 

[Nano-Passion]

Hey Eigenvalue,

Sorry for the late reply. Here is the program I told you about:

Division of Vocational & Rehabilitation Services
New Jersey Department of Labor and Workforce Development

I'm sure they will have an analogous program where you moved.