Parents depressed about children leaving home

[wukunlin]

Our family is at the stage where me and my sibling are finding jobs and are gradually moving out since the positions we are getting or looking for are at all corners of the world. My parents, especially my mother, are finding this very depressing. Is there anything I can do to make it easier for them?

 

[Evo]

Oh, that's a tough one, but if your parents are still together it's much easier than if they were alone. I'm faced with that right now.

 

[dipole]

could set up regular skype times until they get used to it

 

[Choppy]

I once heard that the reason teenagers get all awkward looking, start to smell bad, get acne, and get all argumentative is just nature's way of helping parents let go.

Of course this kind of thing can be depressing - particularly if you're moving well outside of easy visiting range. Part of what helps is you making the effort to contact your parents regularly, I think. As Dipole suggested skype and even regular phone calls are easy to do and help you keep in touch. In some ways distance can actually draw people closer together because you don't take for granted the time you spend with each other any more.

 

[nsaspook]

Children leave home today? Not to make light of your moms plight as Empty Nest Syndrome is a real problem in some cultures but some of us look(ed) forward to that point in our lives. I've always thought it my responsibility as a parent to help them develop into full adults instead of big children. Volunteer social activities with peers in schools, churches or other organizations seems to help.

 

[Borek]

Once they learn what it means to be finally free, they will forgot about this empty nest crap

 

[reenmachine]

If possible , I would recommend skyping at least once or twice a week.If internet is a problem for your parents for any reasons , then call them.In the end your parents will have to deal with some amount of sadness , but this sadness will probably be mixed with pride , so that's not so bad , especially if they can still communicate with you and your siblings.

If you can visit once a year this will also help , the older we get the quicker a whole year pass so the wait in between combined with some skyping/phone calls should be enough to ease their pain.

All of these advices are obvious , but perhaps there's no better solution except staying with them and changing your career path.

 

[lisab]

wukunlin, it's very sweet that you are recognizing that this might be a tough transition. You and your siblings should make an effort to make this easier on your parents.

Start preparing them before you leave home. Like reenmachine mentioned, there is Skype - but also texting and emails. Start using these methods to communicate with your parents frequently *before you leave*! This way, you will have already "taught" them how to talk with you when you are not around. Get your whole family into the habit before you leave. Maybe a daily family email, just a couple of lines.

It will take a time commitment from you...what, a couple minutes a day? Establish the habit now, and really work at it to keep it going.

 

[Astronuc]

Our family is at the stage where me and my sibling are finding jobs and are gradually moving out since the positions we are getting or looking for are at all corners of the world. My parents, especially my mother, are finding this very depressing. Is there anything I can do to make it easier for them?

Certainly with modern technology, one can stay in contact. It used to be phone calls, or letters if the separation was over a large distance, but these days, one has Skype, or FaceTime if one (actually, both parties need an Apple product) has an Apple product, e.g., iPhone, iPad, or Mac.

Certainly one can visit, and have dinner or lunch with parents.

I thought all parents expected their children to become self-sufficient and leave. The was pretty much the message I received when I was young, although my mom apparently missed me.

I couldn't wait to get out on my own and take care of myself.

 

[wukunlin]

Thanks everyone. We already all know how to use skype (just need to get used to the timezone differences I suppose). Hopefully they will quickly find out it isn't all bad without children around the house.

 

[drizzle]

My family and I are sharing an account [group account] on a social network app. Anyone can text about his/her updates, discuss different issues, post jokes, etc. It almost feel like having a talk with each other in the living room. This interaction through text-ing is of a huge impact in keeping in touch with family and making them feel less detached. Especially that you might not have the time to set a call through Skype for a while--different time zones won't help either--it just this makes it easier for both sides.

 

[jim hardy]

My parents, especially my mother, are finding this very depressing. Is there anything I can do to make it easier for them?

Thank them for the successful parenting they did that enabled you to "launch".

Communicate frequently , send lots of cards and letters.

If yours are like my parents they're sort of old fashioned. Circa 1970 I gave mine their first airconditioner, dishwasher and microwave. If you can help yours adjust to the times - go for it.