Physics Jokes and Humor - Share Yours Here!

[Moonbear]

 

[Moonbear]

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Guru
Guru who?
Goo ruined this damn microscope, how many times do I have to ask you to clean up after yourselves? I'm not your mother you know and I've just about had it with you lazy, inconsiderate peons.

From MoonBear's Double album Knock Knocks and rants.

That reminds me of a sign I put up in the lab one weekend when I came into find EVERY piece of glassware dirty in the sink (and sitting in slimy water no less) and had to wash someone else's glassware just so I could have some to use for my own work (I was not a happy camper). When I calmed down, I decided to try humor since nothing else had worked to get the students to clean up after themselves.
The sign reads:

The elves are busy making toys for Christmas
The maid ran off with the butler
And your mother has better things to do
Wash your own glassware!

I've never had to clean someone else's glassware since then.

 

[tribdog]

Here's one from MoonBear's Life on the Farm telling dirty, inside jokes.

For 6 years she worked with a goat
For stinky a goat gets my vote.
That odor can linger,
so I'll use my finger
to hold my nose, while you deep throat.

 

[Moonbear]

What're you trying to do? Suffocate me!

 

[tribdog]

whoops, mistyped it. I meant my nose. cause you smelled like a goat.

 

[Moonbear]

whoops, mistyped it. I meant my nose. cause you smelled like a goat.

Phew! You had me worried there!

 

[tribdog]

MoonBear was gasping for air
She said, tribdog that just isn't fair.
please don't hold my nose
that's not what I chose
Instead, use those fingers down there.

From MoonBear's near Death experiences.

 

[Moonbear]

Evo? Is this what you meant when you talked about having your own shrine on the internet? I've never had most of a thread dedicated to me before.

 

[tribdog]

MoonBear, please don't be that way
I just have something to say
This isn't a shrine,
I just wish you were mine
and these limericks are my way to pray.

From MoonBear's Sappy Romance Limericks M-Z

 

[Moonbear]

Evo, would you and Humanino mind if we did a double PF wedding? :!) All these limericks are making me melty (don't ask what it means, it's just the only word that sounds right).

 

[tribdog]

MoonBear was starting to melt
I was telling her just how I felt
If you're feeling shy
because of this guy
you can spank me, but not with a belt.

from MoonBear Dominates

 

[Moonbear]

Moonbear wanted to reply
And really gave it a try
To think of a limerick
Is quite a tough trick
When she's flustered by a cute guy!

 

[tribdog]

I'm flattered I'm making you flustered.
Does that mean that I've passed the mustard.
Did I say that right?
It is so late at night
Let's get naked, in a bowl. of custard

from MoonBear's Tough Rhymes for Easy Times

 

[Moonbear]

Did he say all the words right?
Or give the lady a fright?
He continues to persist
On an answer he'll insist.
Ever the tease; maybe I might.

 

[tribdog]

Oh, MoonBear, you are such a tease
What else can I say? How 'bout, Please?
I saw you in my dream
(and it made me cream)<----lol, wow terrible terrible terrible
Only you make me weak in the knees.

excerpt from "Oh he's just wild about MoonBear"

 

[Moonbear]

I wish there was a way to insert a poll in the middle of a thread. I want to know who's reading along and are they cheering on tribdog or shouting for Moonbear to watch out?

 

[tribdog]

Moonbear there's no need to poll
It's late, and this forum's not full
All that matters, you see
Is what you mean to me
And, if you'll let me see your hole.

~from MoonBear's how to ruin a good starting poem

 

[Moonbear]

Moonbear is ready for bed,
Has enjoyed the hijacked thread.
Persistence is a virtue
When a lady you pursue.
'Til she gives a nod of her head.

 

[tribdog]

MoonBear went to bed late one night
and sadly, no one was in sight.
But that all will change
unless tribdog has mange.
Because something here really seems right.

from MoonBear's Tribdog is da man

good night, I'm ready for bed too.

 

[Tsu]

I wish there was a way to insert a poll in the middle of a thread. I want to know who's reading along and are they cheering on tribdog or shouting for Moonbear to watch out?

I'm here! I'm reading! I'm also planning the PF Double Wedding! WOOHOO! This is going to be a GAS!

 

[Moonbear]

I'm here! I'm reading! I'm also planning the PF Double Wedding! WOOHOO! This is going to be a GAS!

LOL! Have you ever seen such a thing? I've never been courted with limericks before! How can anyone resist a puppy telling limericks? :!)

 

[Tsu]

You can't! Now go buy your dress! Imagine Tribdog in a TUX! :!)

 

[Moonbear]

You can't! Now go buy your dress! Imagine Tribdog in a TUX! :!)

Ooh, that's a nice benefit of a double wedding...I can finally buy my own dress, I don't have to wait to use my sister's hand-me-down dress. Let's see, something appropriate to go along with a wild bus-ride on Christmas day...this can't be just any poofy white dress, y'know.

 

[Chrono]

Well, I hired tribdog as a ghost writer for that section. He's far better at writing dirty limericks than I am. That's of course why he's pushing you to buy the new edition, he wants his cut of the royalties.

Hey, if helps get the girls like you said in the other thread, I'd consider buying three copies.