Evo
- 24,114
- 3,277
SizarieldoR said:
<snort>
Join the discussion
Ask a follow-up here, or get your own question answered by working scientists, mathematicians and engineers — people, not an autocomplete.
Real named experts · corrections over time · the nuance an AI answer skips
862 replies · 545K views
<snort>
Solar Flare
- 5
- 0
This is more of a VERY lame math joke my friend thought up during our study of logorithms: "Logs got me STUMPED!"
And after studying some pre-calc and calc this summer, one girl looks up from a paper newly handed out (after we had been doing logs for about 1 hour straight) and says, "What are 'low-go-rithms'?" It was priceless!
And after studying some pre-calc and calc this summer, one girl looks up from a paper newly handed out (after we had been doing logs for about 1 hour straight) and says, "What are 'low-go-rithms'?" It was priceless!
star.torturer
- 71
- 0
but not if ... they all got F
- 22,651
- 7,727
This has been passed around the internet and landed in my email.
THE Latest Breakthrough in Educational Technology!
Introducing the new Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge device, trade-named: B.O.O.K.
B.O.O.K is a revolutionary break-through in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use, even a child can operate it.
Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere, even sitting in an armchair by the fire; yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disc.
Here's how it works:
B.O.O.K. is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. The pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence.
Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs. Experts are divided on the prospects for further increases in information density; for now, B.O.O.K.s with more information simply use more pages. Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet.
B.O.O.K. may be taken up at any time and used merely by opening it.
B.O.O.K. never crashes or requires rebooting, though, like other devices, it can become damaged if coffee is spilled on it and it becomes unusable if dropped too many times on a hard surface. The "browse" feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish. Many come with an "index" feature, which pin-points the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.
An optional "B.O.O.K.mark" accessory allows you to open B.O.O.K. to the exact place you left it in a previous session -- even if the BOOK has been closed. B.o.o.k.marks fit universal design standards; thus, a single Bookmark can be used in B.O.O.K.s by various manufacturers. Conversely, numerous B.O.O.K. markers can be used in a single B.O.O.K. if the user wants to store numerous views at once. The number is limited only by the number of pages in the B.O.O.K. You can also make personal notes next to B.O.O.K. text entries with optional programming tools, Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication language Styli (P.E.N.C.I.L.S.).
Portable, durable, and affordable, B.O.O.K. is being hailed as a precursor
of a new entertainment wave. B.O.O.K.'s appeal seems so certain that
thousands of content creators have committed to the platform and investors are reportedly flocking to invest. Look for a flood of new titles soon.
Heathorn. R.J. (1962). Punch Magazine, May 9, 1962.
Circulated through bulk emails, 2000, 2001.
A RESPONSE TO "THE B.O.O.K.":
BOOK(tm)* does not, in spite of the claims, seem "to have great advantages with no drawbacks". Soon, it probably won't even be legal.
Consider:
"It can be conveniently used sitting in an armchair by the fire." Being paper, it might burn in the fire. Probably fire laws in most locations wouldn't allow its use there. Worse, such a device, which encourages close proximity of the user to fire, will be outlawed by OSHA's request.
"Each sheet bears a number in sequence, so that the sheets cannot be used in the wrong order." How quaint; to think that the programmer (author) would be allowed to turn over such an important task to the user!
"cannot" is clearly misuse; any user could incorrectly turn to the wrong
page. A proper user interface might correct that, of course, such as requiring that each sheet be torn off to expose the next. This is a clear conflict with "The user may turn at will to any sheet, going backwards or forwards as he pleases."
"BOOK(tm)s may be stored on handy shelves and for ease of reference". The user interface obviously needs more work before such a system can be practical.
"...the motive power -- is supplied by the brain of the user". Clearly, the inventors have not examined recent trends. No serious person would suggest even expecting a "user" to have a brain present, much less to use it so continuously.
On the other hand, there have been no adverse affects reported among users when a BOOK is used as intended.
Furthermore, I still use P.E.N.C.I.L technology. It is very effective for writing things, especially when used in conjunction with BOOK technology.
THE Latest Breakthrough in Educational Technology!
Introducing the new Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge device, trade-named: B.O.O.K.
B.O.O.K is a revolutionary break-through in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use, even a child can operate it.
Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere, even sitting in an armchair by the fire; yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disc.
Here's how it works:
B.O.O.K. is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. The pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence.
Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs. Experts are divided on the prospects for further increases in information density; for now, B.O.O.K.s with more information simply use more pages. Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet.
B.O.O.K. may be taken up at any time and used merely by opening it.
B.O.O.K. never crashes or requires rebooting, though, like other devices, it can become damaged if coffee is spilled on it and it becomes unusable if dropped too many times on a hard surface. The "browse" feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish. Many come with an "index" feature, which pin-points the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.
An optional "B.O.O.K.mark" accessory allows you to open B.O.O.K. to the exact place you left it in a previous session -- even if the BOOK has been closed. B.o.o.k.marks fit universal design standards; thus, a single Bookmark can be used in B.O.O.K.s by various manufacturers. Conversely, numerous B.O.O.K. markers can be used in a single B.O.O.K. if the user wants to store numerous views at once. The number is limited only by the number of pages in the B.O.O.K. You can also make personal notes next to B.O.O.K. text entries with optional programming tools, Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication language Styli (P.E.N.C.I.L.S.).
Portable, durable, and affordable, B.O.O.K. is being hailed as a precursor
of a new entertainment wave. B.O.O.K.'s appeal seems so certain that
thousands of content creators have committed to the platform and investors are reportedly flocking to invest. Look for a flood of new titles soon.
Heathorn. R.J. (1962). Punch Magazine, May 9, 1962.
Circulated through bulk emails, 2000, 2001.
A RESPONSE TO "THE B.O.O.K.":
BOOK(tm)* does not, in spite of the claims, seem "to have great advantages with no drawbacks". Soon, it probably won't even be legal.
Consider:
"It can be conveniently used sitting in an armchair by the fire." Being paper, it might burn in the fire. Probably fire laws in most locations wouldn't allow its use there. Worse, such a device, which encourages close proximity of the user to fire, will be outlawed by OSHA's request.
"Each sheet bears a number in sequence, so that the sheets cannot be used in the wrong order." How quaint; to think that the programmer (author) would be allowed to turn over such an important task to the user!
"cannot" is clearly misuse; any user could incorrectly turn to the wrong
page. A proper user interface might correct that, of course, such as requiring that each sheet be torn off to expose the next. This is a clear conflict with "The user may turn at will to any sheet, going backwards or forwards as he pleases."
"BOOK(tm)s may be stored on handy shelves and for ease of reference". The user interface obviously needs more work before such a system can be practical.
"...the motive power -- is supplied by the brain of the user". Clearly, the inventors have not examined recent trends. No serious person would suggest even expecting a "user" to have a brain present, much less to use it so continuously.
On the other hand, there have been no adverse affects reported among users when a BOOK is used as intended.
Furthermore, I still use P.E.N.C.I.L technology. It is very effective for writing things, especially when used in conjunction with BOOK technology.
Jimmy Snyder
- 1,137
- 22
I expect that certain interested parties will sue in order to suppress this technology unless these "books" can be copy protected.Astronuc said:
DaveC426913
Gold Member
2025 Award
- 24,605
- 8,945
Yeah, but the COPY function is VERY time and labour intensive.Astronuc said:
- 8,252
- 2,666
http://img435.imageshack.us/img435/5397/mathprankro5.jpg
Last edited by a moderator:
Tomsk
- 227
- 0
Don't know if this has already been posted, I haven't read the whole thread.
I've studied all the sciences in order alphabetical,
My judgment is, which some of you may find to be heretical,
The field that's really quite abstruse,
The field where all the screws come loose,
The field that's famous for its spoofs, is physics theoretical.
I've taken undergraduate work whose content is forgettable;
And graduate work is gen'rally regarded as regrettable.
The lecturers are all absurd.
A cogent word is never heard.
Insanity afflicts a third in physics theoretical.
We never do experiments; we shun the purely practical.
Our best work's done in getting grants--our budgets are fantastical.
In one respect our motive's pure:
Though funding fails, we still endure--
We make damn sure our job's secure in physics theoretical.
Our scientific breakthroughs are, to say the least, debatable.
We laugh at critics haughtily; our egos are inflatable.
The rest of science goes along,
Because our last defense is strong:
It's hard to prove we're ever wrong in physics theoretical.
My maths lecturer put this on an OHP one lecture last term. She was always putting jokes up, this one was one of the best.
I've studied all the sciences in order alphabetical,
My judgment is, which some of you may find to be heretical,
The field that's really quite abstruse,
The field where all the screws come loose,
The field that's famous for its spoofs, is physics theoretical.
I've taken undergraduate work whose content is forgettable;
And graduate work is gen'rally regarded as regrettable.
The lecturers are all absurd.
A cogent word is never heard.
Insanity afflicts a third in physics theoretical.
We never do experiments; we shun the purely practical.
Our best work's done in getting grants--our budgets are fantastical.
In one respect our motive's pure:
Though funding fails, we still endure--
We make damn sure our job's secure in physics theoretical.
Our scientific breakthroughs are, to say the least, debatable.
We laugh at critics haughtily; our egos are inflatable.
The rest of science goes along,
Because our last defense is strong:
It's hard to prove we're ever wrong in physics theoretical.
My maths lecturer put this on an OHP one lecture last term. She was always putting jokes up, this one was one of the best.
SizarieldoR
- 25
- 0
U guys mught want to like what i found:
http://www.juliantrubin.com/sciencetrivia.html
Ivan, does it say something funny on the sheet of paper on the scientist's butt, or is the cartoon just ironizing the obsession of the mathematicians?
http://www.juliantrubin.com/sciencetrivia.html
Ivan, does it say something funny on the sheet of paper on the scientist's butt, or is the cartoon just ironizing the obsession of the mathematicians?
- 8,252
- 2,666
I think the idea is that they have written something that is obviously incorrect. I don't think the cartoonist [Larson] was doing any real math here. 
DaveC426913
Gold Member
2025 Award
- 24,605
- 8,945
Tomsk said:
Isn't this from Gilbert and Sullivan? "I am the Very Model of a Modern Major General"?
- 22,651
- 7,727
What happened when the physicist froze a sample to absolute zero?
Nothing.
Nothing.
Tomsk
- 227
- 0
DaveC426913 said:
Could be. She didn't sing it though, that would have been great.
- 8,252
- 2,666
Astronuc and Zapper in the kitchen
http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/5835/cookies2dm3.jpg
Note: These cartoons are twenty years old or more.
http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/5835/cookies2dm3.jpg
Note: These cartoons are twenty years old or more.
Last edited by a moderator:
Reshma
- 749
- 6
That's hilarious!
DaveC426913
Gold Member
2025 Award
- 24,605
- 8,945
How do you know? Maybe she was dictating.Tomsk said:Could be. She didn't sing it though, that would have been great.
neutrino
- 2,093
- 2
So how does Zz look now?Ivan Seeking said:
- 22,651
- 7,727
I just found that.
Zapper is cuter than I am.neutrino said:So how does Zz look now?
Some Aggie wisdom from College Station, Texas -
The problem with Aggies is that they will LOOK, TASTE, SMELL, TOUCH and LISTEN - even when they're not supposed to.
- 8,252
- 2,666
I was just watching a special about memory loss as a function of age. They gave all sorts of tips to help reduce the loss... now if I could just remember what all they said.
rhuthwaite
- 69
- 1
Hahaha eat rosemary for rememberance
desA
- 90
- 0
Won't Rosemary mind? 
How physics saves lives!
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.
"Why do we have to learn this stuff?" the young man blurted out.
"To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"
The professor stared at the student for a long time without saying a word. Finally the professor continued.
"Physics saves lives," he said, "because it keeps certain people out of medical school."
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.
"Why do we have to learn this stuff?" the young man blurted out.
"To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"
The professor stared at the student for a long time without saying a word. Finally the professor continued.
"Physics saves lives," he said, "because it keeps certain people out of medical school."
moose
- 556
- 0
Doc Al, I think the joke sounds better if the last quote is "because it keeps people like you out of medical school", or 'because it keeps people like you from becoming doctors".
Reshma
- 749
- 6
Algebra can Kill!
AlbertEinstein
- 113
- 1
STATUARY WARNING: MATHEMATICS IS "SUICIDAL" TO STUDENTS
DaveC426913
Gold Member
2025 Award
- 24,605
- 8,945
How awkward. All I want to do is change my notification from instant to daily. But I can't without posting a message...
DaxInvader
Two atoms are talking to each other...
- I think I lost an electron..
- Are you sure?
- I'm positive.
- I think I lost an electron..
- Are you sure?
- I'm positive.
AlbertEinstein
- 113
- 1
I don't know if you have read this but then-
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest, chickens in motion tend to cross roads.
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends on your frame of reference.
Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
Wolfgang Pauli: There already was a chicken on this side of the road.
Max Planck..Chicken can only cross road in fixed intervals of time, which are multiples of the fundamental time decided by dist, speed and size of chick...and no other times are allowed.
S. Chandrashekhar : Whether the chicken actually crossed the road can only be told by weighing it first and putting an upper limit to the mass in the integral of the road.
Eddington: Only two ppl on this entire Earth know how the chicken crossed the road. Einstein and me.
Stephen Hawking: we can explain this by moving the video of the motion of the chicken in the backward direction and study the beginning of its motion.
My Physics teacher: I cannot tell u that as it is beyond the scope of ur textbook.
Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads. This brought such occurrences into being.
The Bible: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
jk rowling:some body might have put the chicken under imperious curse.
I:Chicken cross the road since it knew..all above people were watching it and had to comment on it.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest, chickens in motion tend to cross roads.
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends on your frame of reference.
Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
Wolfgang Pauli: There already was a chicken on this side of the road.
Max Planck..Chicken can only cross road in fixed intervals of time, which are multiples of the fundamental time decided by dist, speed and size of chick...and no other times are allowed.
S. Chandrashekhar : Whether the chicken actually crossed the road can only be told by weighing it first and putting an upper limit to the mass in the integral of the road.
Eddington: Only two ppl on this entire Earth know how the chicken crossed the road. Einstein and me.
Stephen Hawking: we can explain this by moving the video of the motion of the chicken in the backward direction and study the beginning of its motion.
My Physics teacher: I cannot tell u that as it is beyond the scope of ur textbook.
Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads. This brought such occurrences into being.
The Bible: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
jk rowling:some body might have put the chicken under imperious curse.
I:Chicken cross the road since it knew..all above people were watching it and had to comment on it.
ritwik06
- 577
- 0
Fantastic. And very true comment about the physics school teacher... Just enjoyed itAlbertEinstein said:
DaxInvader
HAHAHAHA imperious curse...
LOL "Thou shalt cross the road"
Very nice one :P:P
But you forgot one! hahaha
Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy: 42.
LOL "Thou shalt cross the road"
Very nice one :P:P
But you forgot one! hahaha
Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy: 42.
Last edited by a moderator: