Science Humor: A Wide Selection

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Enigman said:
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I was checking the etymology of micturition on etymonline, and the usually dry, academic and to the point analysis is followed by this oddly emphatic description:
"As during the final 20 minutes of a 4-hour film after drinking a 32-ounce Mountain Dew from the snack bar and the movie ends with a drawn-out farewell scene while Frodo is standing on the pier and wavelets lap audibly on the dock the whole time as if the director was a sadist set on compounding your torment."
http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=micturition&allowed_in_frame=0
 
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What do you say after Thanksgiving dinner?
$$\frac{\sqrt{-1}}{2^3}$$
 
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Enigman said:
What do you say after Thanksgiving dinner?
$$\frac{\sqrt{-1}}{2^3}$$
Mostly because $$\frac{\sqrt{-1}}{2^3}π$$
 
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Refused to be friend……
 

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If a vegetarian diet is good for losing weight then why do people use grain to fatten pigs and cows ?
 
Medicol said:
If a vegetarian diet is good for losing weight then why do people use grain to fatten pigs and cows ?
Because feeding them pork and beef doesn't make sense. :oldeyes:
 
Layman: Dear Einstein, please explain Theory of Relativity to me!
Einstein: Sorry I cannot - I have not yet read my books about it !
 
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How does a mathematician or a physicist prepare tea?
Both of them pour water into the pot, light the flame, boil the water, infuse the leaves.
What is the difference in the solution, if the pot is already filled with water?
The physicist lights the flame, boils the water, infuses the leaves.
The mathematician pours the water out, thereby reducing the problem to the previous, already solved one.
 
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M Grandin said:
Einstein passed by and said: "Sorry you are all wrong! At least one sheep has black wool on one side at this moment !"

Then the conductor showed up and said "It is not a sheep - it is our fireman who has escaped from his duty!"

Einstein: "I also had a feeling this inertial frame of moving train was decelerating!"
 
Hello, I think I thought of a punny joke. Got some open flack on facebook, but I'll give it a try around these parts.
Let’s just assume that all energy exhibits photon-like behavior until it is subject to activity within a field space, at which point it is usurped into some sort energy conveying system such as an electron or proton. These systems manifest in larger systems of energy called atoms and molecules, which in turn constitute systems with even greater complexity, such as cells and organisms.

The question now is, what causes a photon to participate in an electron?
 
This is my new cat Torque. Why Torque? Because cats live in the Moment.

Torque.jpg
 
Amateur Mathematical joke.

How does 5 feel when two is taken away from it?
Free.
 
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Einstein was selling watches and Newton apples on the market.
Newton to Einstein: "Do you really believe people want buying watches that are both slowering and
weighing more while travelling?"
Einstein: "And do you believe people want fallen fruit?"
 
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The next post will be gold.
 
Au.I am sorry. I really am.
 
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