Going through the in's and out's of solvent effects is way beyond the scope of a forum post so to really get a good handle on the concepts I suggest you read the relevant chapter(s) in your, or any, Organic Chemistry text.
Especially in terms of Sn type reactions you have to consider polar protic and polar aprotic solvents. Things like alcohols, water etc are polar protic because these molecules have accessible partial negative and partial positive charges (they Hydrogen bond and all that jazz). When salts dissolve in these types of solvents, both the anion and the cation are able to be solvated to a high degree.
Polar aprotic solvents are a different story. For example acetone. The dipole that is created across the carbonyl double bond gives this solvent polarity and the lone pairs on the oxygen are very effective at solvating cations. However, the partial positive on the carbonyl carbon is greatly shielded by the methyl groups on each side. Therefore when you drop something like NaCl into acetone the Na+ will be solvated completely but, the Cl- will have very weak interactions with the partial positive charge of the carbonyl carbon (due to steric reasons). NaCl may be a bad idea but I can't, for the life of me, think of anything else at this moment, my brain is fried from a long day. The effect of poor solvation of negative charges means that the solvent shell is held very loosely around the nucleophile making it much more reactive.
These are but a few of the things you must consider when thinking about Sn/E type reactions. Don't get too caught up with it, just consider the concepts of solvation, hydrogen bonding (the prerequisites required), acidity/basicity (and how electro/nucleophilicity somewhat parallels these characteristics), sterics etc. As I said, its very difficult to get into every detail of these reactions on a forum so your best bet is to really sit down, read the chapter and, most importantly, to think it through and understand it fully. Memorizing is really not necessary and its a shame that so many people spend so much time memorizing instead of thinking through the concepts and tying everything together.