Polly said:
Not having read the entire thread, this could be totally off the mark, but I do feel a line has to be drawn between accepting a person for what he is and deluding him as to his true ability.
I don't think you're off-the-mark considering the direction the thread has taken. There is a difference, as you pointed out, between accepting someone for who they are and yet being realistic about what their strengths and weaknesses are. If you believe they are stupid for not being able to master a subject, you will have a much harder time being effective at your latter suggestion of guiding them toward an appropriate vocation.
This is something I do have to guide students in, both at the undergraduate and graduate level. I try to do this cautiously, because sometimes there are issues in a student's life of which I am unaware that are affecting their performance that come up during such a discussion. There is nothing wrong with taking a course and finding out it's not something you're good at or interested in taking further, and it is valuable to learn even that. Because I deal with a lot of pre-med students, I have had this discussion with many students who were pushed into pre-med by their parents and then are faced with the reality that they are either not interested or not particularly good at biology. Rather than just tell them they need to do something else, I sit with them and find out if there's a reason they are struggling biology that is unrelated to aptititude...is it a side effect of another course they are struggling with taking too much of their study time away from biology, or are they having a tough time adjusting to life in college, perhaps they're homesick or missing their high school sweetheart, or have a roommate that's interrupting their studying? If it really turns out that they just don't have an aptitude for biology or don't have the interest, the next step is to start finding out what they are good at. Are they just loving that English literature class, or psychology, etc.? Once I find out their strengths, I can then explore with them possible career options where they hold those strengths.
The most challenging students to advise are those who are struggling in all their classes across the board. There are a few options for them, and it's a delicate situation to explain them. For some of those students, they just haven't yet found the subject that will interest them, and recommending they take a greater variety of introductory courses is always an option. Sometimes they just need to find that one class that inspires them. For others, it's a matter of addressing a problem with study skills or getting an undiagnosed learning disability evaluated and identified, and there are others who truly aren't ready to handle college. I can't say whether they ever will be, because there are people who fail out and return in a few years with a new-found maturity and excel, but at the time, it's just not worth wasting their money on tuition. For them, I recommend time off to work. Some will go off and never return, others will work a few years and return when they have a better idea what they want to do with their life.
I have also found that those students who don't seem to be able to get even the simplest concept have become less and less prevalent as I've improved my own teaching skills. Not that every student will master the harder concepts, but I see many failures as that of the teacher, not of the student.