George Keeling said:
surely then we need to know the order of the vector and covector arguments.
Yes. This seems to be conventional - for example in the case of the Riemann tensor ##R^a{}_{bcd}## you just need to know that the ##b## index is associated with the vector you are planning to transport around a loop defined by infinitesimal vectors with indices ##c## and ##d##.
George Keeling said:
that ##{dx}^idx^j\neq dx^j{dx}^i##
I don't think this is quite right. Using distinct vectors, ##U^iV^j=V^jU^i## - i.e., the order you write the tensors doesn't matter (unlike matrices). However, in general ##U^iV^j\neq U^jV^i##, because the ##i,j##th component of one tensor is the ##j,i##th component of the other. But in your example, ##U=V=dx##, so ##dx^idx^j=dx^jdx^i##. And also if you contract ##U^iV^j## or ##U^jV^i## with a rank-2 tensor the result may be the same - it only matters how you match up the indices. So if ##T_{ij}## is an arbitrary tensor, ##T_{ij}U^iV^j=T_{ji}U^jV^i\neq T_{ij}U^jV^i##.
George Keeling said:
I suppose it must also be true that $$
{ds}^2=g^{kl}{dx}_k{dx}_l
$$From the post ##g_{ij}A^je^i\equiv{\widetilde{A}}_ie^i## it looks like I could lower the ##i## on the LHS to get $$
A^je_j={\widetilde{A}}_ie^i$$
Yes.
George Keeling said:
Changing the ##e## 's to ##dx##'s that gives me$$
{\widetilde{A}}_i=\frac{{dx}_j}{{dx}^i}A^j$$
Remember that these are sums. Writing it out explicitly, ##A^je_j={\widetilde{A}}_ie^i## means ##\sum_jA_je^j=\sum_i{\widetilde{A}}_ie^i##, so you cannot divide both sides by ##e_i## as you did.
Getting back to your original question, in general relativity (which I think is your main interest here) you always have a metric available on any manifold of interest. That means that you can always raise or lower an index, so there isn't really any extra information in a vector that isn't encoded in its dual. So which you use is primarily a matter of computational convenience. You need to keep track of the raised and lowered indices and their orders so that you know that the calculation is legal, but if you have a raised index and it would be more convenient to work with a lowered index, you just lower it. As I understand it, that isn't generally the case in differential geometry (you can have manifolds without metrics), but it works for differential geometry as applied to GR.
Edit: Had a bit of a LaTeX nightmare with this one. I think I've fixed everything, but if I'm misquoting you somewhere it's because I didn't do the fixing right.