The PF Singles Scene: Find Your Perfect Match

[SOS2008]

Dang Moonbear, the "Single, available, over 30; will consider long-distance dating " category looks really pathetic, we all know who that 5 is and we're no gems.

I personally have lowered my criteria to "single sane man". The only men I meet are borderline insane. Except I think a couple may have crossed that line at one point.

And I thought I was the only one doomed. People ask me if I'm married and then I have to confess that no man will have me 'cuz I'm so ornery. My Dad's made a tidy sum--the guys keep paying him to take me back.

 

[Moonbear]

I personally have lowered my criteria to "single sane man".

Well, if you'd just stop being so picky, you might be able to find yourself a man already!

Actually, the over 30 category isn't as bad as it looks. There's a halfway decent male/female ratio in that one! But, even when I count in the two I don't think voted yet, there's still one odd one out.

I think SOS and tribdog would do well together. They're already doing that playful melon squeezing flirting stuff. And, Evo, since you've already turned down polyb once, how do you feel about living a little Danger-ously?

But that leaves me and MIH to fight over polyb. Do we have another male candidate? (No, polyb, no matter how much you're begging right now, you can't have both of us. )

 

[Danger]

Hang on here! I thought after last night that Evo, Moonbear and MIH were my harem. Is there no end to the disappointment around here?

 

[SOS2008]

Well, if you'd just stop being so picky, you might be able to find yourself a man already!

Actually, the over 30 category isn't as bad as it looks. There's a halfway decent male/female ratio in that one! But, even when I count in the two I don't think voted yet, there's still one odd one out.

I think SOS and tribdog would do well together. They're already doing that playful melon squeezing flirting stuff. And, Evo, since you've already turned down polyb once, how do you feel about living a little Danger-ously?

But that leaves me and MIH to fight over polyb. Do we have another male candidate? (No, polyb, no matter how much you're begging right now, you can't have both of us. )

Flirt? Can anyone top Danger? I think tribdog is mad at me now that he knows it's been me that keeps moving his shopping cart...and maybe a little embarrassed that I know about the melons...and he can't guess my underwear--Commando--hah! (just kiddin')

 

[Math Is Hard]

But that leaves me and MIH to fight over polyb. Do we have another male candidate? (No, polyb, no matter how much you're begging right now, you can't have both of us. )

This can only end badly. I have a sinking feeling this is going to result in the Moonbear-MIH mud wrestling thread.

 

[Moonbear]

This can only end badly. I have a sinking feeling this is going to result in the Moonbear-MIH mud wrestling thread.

That's it! Where's the mud?!

 

[Math Is Hard]

hmm.. there's plenty of mud out back in the PF garden.
You look hungry, Moonbear. Come on out - I'll feed you some escargot.

 

[Moonbear]

hmm.. there's plenty of mud out back in the PF garden.
You look hungry, Moonbear. Come on out - I'll feed you some escargot.

No escargot! How about a mud pie?
*walks out into PF garden wearing a bikini*

 

[Math Is Hard]

*walks into PF garden in sumo-wrestler diaper and tank top*
let's go, girlie-girl! You're going down like a cheap Hollywood ho on Hugh Grant!

 

[Moonbear]

*walks into PF garden in sumo-wrestler diaper and tank top*
let's go, girlie-girl! You're going down like a cheap Hollywood ho on Hugh Grant!

Bring it on miss Malibu Barbie! Or are you afraid you'll break a nail?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Oh, I will break a nail in yo a$$, girlfriend. You want to play? Whatchoo got?
*pokes Moonbear's voluptuous chest*

 

[Moonbear]

Oh, I will break a nail in yo a$$, girlfriend. You want to play? Whatchoo got?
*pokes Moonbear's voluptuous chest*

Now you're askin' for it!
*shoves MIH into the mud puddle*

 

[Math Is Hard]

OK, that's it! You need a facial, sistah.. how about a mudpack?
*smears some fresh mud on Moonbear's face*

 

[Moonbear]

OK, that's it! You need a facial, sistah.. how about a mudpack?
*smears some fresh mud on Moonbear's face*

thbpt! pbt!

*lunges for MIH, straddles her back, grabs her hair, and pushes her head down into the mud*

 

[Math Is Hard]

ow! you mean horrible thing! OK, polyb is yours. I give up! Take him!

 

[SOS2008]

I was about to "virtualize this," but what a fight! Except one part--I hope that's only mud in those sumo diapers MIH...And was that flash a wardrobe malfunction Moonbear?

 

[Math Is Hard]

I was about to "virtualize this," but what a fight! Except one part--I hope that's only mud in those sumo diapers MIH...And was that flash a wardrobe malfunction Moonbear?

er.. ok, I'm not quite that old, SOS.
Moonbear and I decided up front to keep it clean. Keep the the shirts on -- no rippin' off tops and floppin' out the honkers! We are sisters, after all, and it's a nice family forum.

 

[Danger]

was that flash a wardrobe malfunction Moonbear?

That flash was because she ignored the owner's manual for the electric bra and got it wet!

 

[Danger]

*pokes Moonbear's voluptuous chest*

I don't believe that you're allowed to do that unless you have an explosives-handling permit.

 

[Danger]

Keep the the shirts on -- no rippin' off tops and floppin' out the honkers!

If I may quote myself once again, another sexual fantasy blown to hell!

 

[Danger]

Flirt? Can anyone top Danger?

Flirt? Flirt you say, woman? You mock the desperate feeble attempts of an old man...? For shame! (And leave us not forget that JATO-assited Hemi-powered wheelchair...)

 

[SOS2008]

Flirt? Flirt you say, woman? You mock the desperate feeble attempts of an old man...? For shame! (And leave us not forget that JATO-assited Hemi-powered wheelchair...)

A dirty old woman would never mock the attempts of any man! As for my wheelchair, let's just say it's not street legal (if you know what I mean). It has a supped-up hearing aid, oxygen tank (for me), binocular head gear (with night vision), and inflatable devices, er um, air bags. Maybe Moonbear would lend me her cane...oh heck, MIH can you spare your gun? We'll see some mud splatter now!

 

[Danger]

You're going down like a cheap Hollywood ho on Hugh Grant!

From observation, I think that 3 is standard for a really good joke, but this is just too funny.

 

[Clausius2]

ME:

Single. But:

i) looking for a pretty girl, with black hair and blue eyes. She must be 1.70-1.80m height and 55-70 kg weight. I don't need a sexual bomb, only a woman who atracts me sexually and I to her too.

ii) also she must be able to sustain an intelligent form of conversation. She must have some cerebral substance into her head, and she must be able to think logically.

iii) also she must have an extraordinary sense of humour.

iv) it is something essential she must be a good person, with no cruelty nor insincerity.

v) she must feel and seem as a woman. I have enough guys over there. I want a woman with her female signs of feminity. Women with character of a man or with an appearance of a man are eliminated of my list.

Is it too much what I am looking for?.

 

[hypatia]

Dark hair and blue eyes...that combo is one of my favorite in the human species.
Clausius2, just keep in mine, that HER logic, may differ from yours. I'm sure you will find just the perfect lady.

 

[Danger]

Is it too much what I am looking for?.

Stick with the sheep, lad. You don't have to be as picky 'cause they all look alike.

 

[Danger]

If they do that, they can't kiss them.

Maybe the UK pasturing foliage makes a difference; over here they don't have minty-fresh breath.

 

[mattmns]

I am 19 and looking, but not looking terribly hard. Too busy at the moment, but never too busy for the perfect lady.

edit.. MB you should have made the poll public

 

[loseyourname]

Yeah, maybe that's why one of the guys didn't decide to start this sooner. Perhaps the ones who can't be paired up with the women will become drinking buddies.

I'd be way more interested in finding a drinking buddy. Too bad I don't live in Portland (I love all the microbreweries up there - but it's cool in San Francisco too).

For the record, I'm 24, divorced, and have already had a long-distance affair (with my wife's knowledge - we were already in the process of divorcing) that didn't end well and will not do it again unless the woman owns a private jet (or is Julie Andrews). I'm happy with my girlfriend but I'm generally happy regardless. I don't think she's as happy with me, so perhaps I'll be available at some point.