The way people think, ever find it fascinating?

  • #1
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Main Question or Discussion Point

One thing that always fascinates me is when people aren't able to understand their own beliefs and motivations about something.

One example is when I was talking with my new girlfriend about religion and I asked her what she believes. She replied that she is 'spiritual but not religious'. However, more questioning revealed that she didn't have any sort of definition for what 'being spiritual' meant for her, and that she didn't believe in anything commonly associated with spirituality. More or less, it was a way for her to escape the criticisms of religious and atheist would-be attackers at the same time.

I also recall a conversation I had with a girl I know who had sex with a man, and afterward said that she was just 'caught up in the moment', and 'he basically tricker her into it'. What I find interesting is that she is a very intelligent person, and incredibly witty and it's extremely unlikely that she could be truly tricked into anything. And this is the second time this month she's been 'tricked' by different men.

It never ceases to amaze me how the human brain can basically 'hide' subconscious motivations and thoughts from us. Do any of you ever sit back and appreciate this fact? Also, could you please share similar stories of "normal" psychology that is, at least in the logical sense, not normal?
 

Answers and Replies

  • #2
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That is a difficult question.
One does NOT have to fully UNDERSTAND the belief in order to emotionally ascribe to it.
Emotions are much more powerful than understandings.
This, obviously, can create problems.
 
  • #3
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I also recall a conversation I had with a girl I know who had sex with a man, and afterward said that she was just 'caught up in the moment', and 'he basically tricker her into it'. What I find interesting is that she is a very intelligent person, and incredibly witty and it's extremely unlikely that she could be truly tricked into anything. And this is the second time this month she's been 'tricked' by different men.
well... you know how it is. it's a lady's prerogative to change her mind. because admitting she's a girl that just likes to have sex isn't sociably acceptable in her peer group. and maybe she can't admit this to herself either, not just you.

guys aren't allowed to change their mind.
 
  • #4
vjdarktm
guys aren't allowed to change their mind.
what do you mean by this?....are we bound by some sort of law that we must follow it?...
 
  • #5
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well... you know how it is. it's a lady's prerogative to change her mind. because admitting she's a girl that just likes to have sex isn't sociably acceptable in her peer group. and maybe she can't admit this to herself either, not just you.
Ok, it goes like this. When a women get a one night stand which proves to be very lousy or with a short short man (let's face it 75% of both man and women have no idea how to make love), more often than not she will be damn sorry she did it. To put it plainly, it did not worth it.This may lead to some interesting attitudes later due to cognitive dissonance.

When it's great sex, she will go singing and smiling the next morning to the work.
 
  • #6
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One example is when I was talking with my new girlfriend about religion and I asked her what she believes. She replied that she is 'spiritual but not religious'. However, more questioning revealed that she didn't have any sort of definition for what 'being spiritual' meant for her, and that she didn't believe in anything commonly associated with spirituality. More or less, it was a way for her to escape the criticisms of religious and atheist would-be attackers at the same time.

?

You simply cannot draw such a conclusion based on what you wrote here.
 
  • #7
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even if you think you understand your beliefs you cant know till you test them. you can pose the question "what would i do if.....?" but until it happens its just speculation. i was raised to believe homosexuality was wrong, i personally feel it is but this doesnt even come up when i hang out with an old friend from school who is gay. we were friends before and him being gay doesn't offend me at all. this doesn't change my beliefs. in the case of the girl being spiritual she probably was raised in religion and found no practical use for it in real life, but doesnt want to give it up. its like being an american living in canada.
 
  • #8
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its like being an american living in canada.
Polartec Thermal-pro midsummer ? :wink:
 
  • #9
DaveC426913
Gold Member
18,605
2,065
well... you know how it is. it's a lady's prerogative to change her mind. because admitting she's a girl that just likes to have sex isn't sociably acceptable in her peer group. and maybe she can't admit this to herself either, not just you.

guys aren't allowed to change their mind.
what do you mean by this?....are we bound by some sort of law that we must follow it?...

Wait ... guys changing their mind about wanting to have sex...

Citation please. :biggrin:
 
  • #10
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  • #11
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Hello, January. Was hoping I'd never see you again.
 
  • #12
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Hello, January. Was hoping I'd never see you again.
what about december?
 
  • #13
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Wait ... guys changing their mind about wanting to have sex...

Citation please. :biggrin:
I would wager that every guy with a rape accusation did.
 
  • #14
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what do you mean by this?....are we bound by some sort of law that we must follow it?...
not a written law, but our social standards hold men more accountable for their decisions than women.

Wait ... guys changing their mind about wanting to have sex...

Citation please. :biggrin:
:shy:

J Soc Psychol. 2011 Jan-Feb;151(1):105-12.
Beer goggles: blood alcohol concentration in relation to attractiveness ratings for unfamiliar opposite sex faces in naturalistic settings.
Lyvers M, Cholakians E, Puorro M, Sundram S.
Source

Bond University, Department of Psychology, University Drive, Robina, Gold Coast 4229, Australia. mlyvers@bond.edu.au
Abstract

The popular notion that alcohol intoxication enhances perceptions of the physical attractiveness of the opposite sex has been inconsistently supported. The current study tested intoxicated and non-intoxicated persons of both genders in naturalistic settings after measuring their blood alcohol concentration (BAC) by a breath test. A sample of 80 heterosexual university student social drinkers was recruited at a campus pub and campus parties over a 3-month period to take a survey rating the attractiveness of unfamiliar faces of the opposite gender presented in photographs. Attractiveness ratings were positively correlated with BAC. Analysis of covariance (ANCOVA) was conducted on attractiveness ratings with independent variables of gender and BAC group, with three levels of the latter: non-intoxicated (BAC = 0), moderately intoxicated (BAC .01% - .09%), and highly intoxicated (BAC .10% - .19%). Both intoxicated groups gave significantly higher attractiveness ratings than non-intoxicated controls. The findings confirm the "beer goggles" phenomenon of folk psychology for both genders, although the mechanism remains unclear.

PMID:
21375128
[PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]
 

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