"last one," said tribdog, as he tightened the tiny screw. the relief was evident. "I didn't think I'd ever finish." It had taken most of the past two days, but finally his quantum tunneling time machine was finished.
This had better work, he thought, knowing there would be no second chance. He quickly stripped off his clothes, revealing his long, hard mathematical equation tattooed across his chest. the equation that made this time machine possible. He climbed into the time machine, curled up into the fetal position being careful to shield a tender spot on the back of his head and spoke the command to begin.
A computer voice began speaking, "thank you for choosing QT Travel. If you would like to travel through time please press or say one. If you would like to speak to an operator please press or say two."
"One" said tribdog.
"If you would like to travel into the future please press or say one. If you would like to travel into the past please press or say two."
"Two" tribdog said
"If you would like to travel 2 days into the past please press or say one. If you would like to travel 1.5 days into the past please say or press 2 if you would like to travel 6 minutes into the past please say or press three. If you would like to travel 198,998 years into the past please say or press four."
"two? no one. ONE!" said tribdog.
"too late." said the computer. "two it is. Have a pleasant trip."
Tribdog saw the entire universe move about a foot to the left and a bell said "ding"
Climbing out of the time machine tribdog saw someone sitting at his computer. I hope I'm not too late he thought as he picked up his television and brought it down on the head of the handsome young man sitting at his computer.
"Ouch, what'd you do that for" the young man said, turning around. "Hey, you are me. Why don't you have any clothes on? Wow, that sure is a long, hard thing you have there. What is that? Calculus?"
"Shut up!" said tribdog, interrupting himself. "I've come back to stop you. You must not, under any circumstance, post a topic about the top thread killers on PF, what happens if you do is horrible."
"I already sent it." said the younger tribdog.
"Oh no. but maybe it's not too late. You need to build a time machine and go back to before you send that post. With two of us it should be a lot easier building this time machine. If fact we can take mine apart so you can use the pieces to build yours." said the future tribdog.
"Why can't I just use yours?" asked the younger.
"Clever," said the elder, "I hadn't thought of that."
Suddenly there was a sound behind the two tribdogs. they turned to see another one of themselves standing there, naked. He held something long and hard in his hands. It was a flame thrower.
"Sorry," said the newest, oldest tribdog. " the thread killer thread is bad, but its nothing compared to multiple mes." Flames shot out and obliterated two of the three tribdogs. "We'll just have to hope the thread killers don't cause too much damage.
