Things are what you define them to be. If you want to define the mass of a particle as ##\gamma m## and thus make it frame dependent, you are free to do that. If you want to define the mass of a particle as its rest mass, ##m##, you are free to do that as well. But, you must ensure that all your formulas and working reflect your chosen definition.
On balance, defining mass as ##\gamma m## has more disadvantages than advantages, so has been generally dropped from modern physics texts.
The idea that there is a deep physical truth lurking in whether mass should be ##\gamma m## or ##m## is misguided. Mass is what we define it to be.
Gravitation in GR is not just the result of mass, nor of energy, nor of energy density and energy flux, but also of the stress tensor. This "stress-energy" tensor is a second order tensor with, on the face of it, 16 terms. That is a very different beast from relativistic mass.