MHB What Are Some Clever Math Puns to Brighten Your Day?

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The discussion revolves around a variety of math-related puns and jokes, showcasing the humor found in mathematical concepts and terminology. Participants share clever wordplay, such as jokes about mathematicians, equations, and even physics, often blending humor with technical references. The thread highlights the enjoyment of puns, with examples like "Why do Java programmers wear glasses? Because they don't C#" and "Never trust an atom; they make up everything." There is a playful exploration of language, with contributors sharing anecdotes and humorous observations about math and science, emphasizing the lighthearted side of academia. The conversation also touches on the challenges of understanding complex subjects, using humor to bridge gaps in knowledge and engage participants in a fun, communal experience.
masters1
A math professor in an unheated room is cold and calculating.

Mathematics teachers call retirement 'the aftermath'.

Two mathematicians arguing about even numbers were at odds.

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

Old math professors never die, they just lose their functions.

I'm bad at math, so the equation 2n+2n is 4n to me.

The mathematician worked at home because he only functioned in his domain.

What do organic mathematicians throw into their fireplaces? Natural Logs.
 
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Why was the identity \sin2r \,=\,2\sin r refused a loan?

He needed a \cos r.
 
Puns is one of my favorite types of jokes, especially untranslatable puns in another language.

I'll start with a classic example. A certain city had a pun context. One man sent ten puns in the hope that at least one of them would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

No pun intended.
 
Evgeny.Makarov said:
No pun intended.

Not sure I quite believe that.
 
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What do you call a Korean couple?
Seoulmates

A punderful idea for a thread btw :)
 
One of my favorites is hearing that outside of a hippie commune, only a left turn could be made out of the complex onto the main road, and a sign was placed there which read:

No Left Turn Unstoned
 

Ben Cartwright turned the Ponderosa into a cattle ranch.

He renamed his spread "Focus"
because that's where the sun's rays meet.

[sp]
The sons raise meat.

[/sp]
 
If you look up in Hubbard's book on Teichmuller Theory, you'll see that he refers each category by the concatenation of the first three letters of each word. The book frequently refers to the category Banach Analytic Manifolds

BanAnaMan
 
  • #10
College-Math.jpg


=D
 
  • #11
One of my classmates in college was fond of saying:

Let's not go off on a tangent...let's secant we do this. (Speechless)
 
  • #12
Merriam-Webster dictionary gives the following definition of conundrum.

  1. a riddle whose answer is or involves a pun
    • a question or problem having only a conjectural answer
    • an intricate and difficult problem

One of the editions of the dictionary that I had actually gave the following question as an example of a conundrum in sense 1.

Q: What is the difference between a jeweler and a jailer?
A: A jeweler sells watches, and a jailer watches cells.
 
  • #13
Evgeny.Makarov said:
b. an intricate and difficult problem

It must be difficult for jewelers to sell watches to jailers watching cells. :p
 
  • #14
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  • #16
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  • #17
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  • #18
Some worlds just want to burn the men's watch

http://hugelolcdn.com/i700/249453.jpg
 
  • #19
Q: How do you turn root beer into regular beer?
A: You pour it into a square cup.
 
  • #20
There is a genre of puns that represent a story (sometimes quite long) and end with a modification of some proverb or other famous saying. Here is an example.

QwgZf4E.jpg


The original idiom is "Don't judge a book by its cover".
 
  • #21

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  • #22
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  • #23
Q: Why do Java Programmers wear glasses?
A: Because they don't C#.
 
  • #24
Q:Why did $y$ leave $x$?
A: She wanted to be more independent.

Q:Why are rivers continuous?
A: For every $\epsilon > 0$, there is a delta.

Q:Why did $a$ move?
A: He'd reached his limit, and the neighborhood was (deleted).
 
  • #25
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  • #26
Never trust an atom. They make up everything.

I had a job crushing pop cans. It was soda pressing.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Whoever invented the "knock-knock" jokes should get a no-bell prize.
 
  • #27
Evgeny.Makarov said:
Never trust an atom. They make up everything.

Hmm, I thought there were many particles (hundreds of them actually) that aren't atoms. (Nerd)
 
  • #28
I like Serena said:
Hmm, I thought there were many particles (hundreds of them actually) that aren't atoms. (Nerd)
Eh, not too many. Only about (roughly) [math](1/2) {12 \choose 3}[/math] baryons and [math](1/2) {12 \choose 2}[/math] mesons...so around 143 particles without considering higher spin states and exotic particles such as glueballs.

-Dan
 
  • #29
topsquark said:
Eh, not too many. Only about (roughly) [math](1/2) {12 \choose 3}[/math] baryons and [math](1/2) {12 \choose 2}[/math] mesons...so around 143 particles without considering higher spin states and exotic particles such as glueballs.

-Dan

Plus 6 leptons like the electron and the neutrino makes around 149.
 
  • #30
Q: Why was Heidi Klum banned from the last Theoretical Physics Conference?

A: She still believed in the Standard Model.
 
  • #31
I like Serena said:
Plus 6 leptons like the electron and the neutrino makes around 149.
Well, there's also photons, two W's, a Z, (from electro-weak theory), gluons, plus some 24 (?) or so X and Y particles for GUT. No idea how many interaction bosons are added by TOEs. In addition, most higher spin states are so much higher in energy they are commonly interpreted as distinct particles. For example, a proton is made up of uud and the [math]\Delta ^+[/math] is also uud. The difference is that the proton is spin 1/2 and the [math]\Delta[/math] is spin 3/2. Technically all of these higher spin particles need to be added to the list.

Okay, too serious.

If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer team up, they'd be alloys.

-Dan
 
  • #32
I've got my doctorate in palindromes. So now I am addressed as Dr. Awkward.

On the shelf there are ten math books, five geography books, and the rest is history.

Q: Why doesn't the Guinness Book of Records consider people whose noses are longer than 11 inches for the longest nose record?
[sp]A: They say it would be a foot.[/sp]
 
  • #33

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  • #34
My girlfriend is like $\sqrt{-100}$.

[sp]She is a perfect 10, but also imaginary. :([/sp]
 
  • #35
A double-language pun.

There were two cats: English by the name One-two-three and French by the name Un-deux-trois. They decided to swim across the English Channel. Who came the first? It was One-two-three because Un-deux-trois cat sank.

[sp]"Un-deux-trois cat sank" sounds like "Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq", i.e., "One, two, three, four, five" in French.[/sp]
 
  • #36
(groans in great pain)

-Dan
 
  • #37
My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart. It was like love meant nothing to her.

I'm making a graph of my past relationships. It has an 'ex'-axis and a 'why?'-axis.

Puns: that's a rare medium well done.
 
  • #38
The irregular fraction hotline works 24/7.

So a physicist walks into h-bar...
and tells the bartender, "I'll have two pies."

If there is a scientific journal devoted to developments in electricity and magnetism, it should be called Current Events.
 
  • #39

Mugger: Give me your money or you're Algebra.

Victim: You mean History.

Mugger: Don't change the subject!

 
  • #40
If someone asks you to spell "part" backwards, don't. It's a trap.

19 and 20 had a fight.
21.

Q: What's the difference between 2 * 10 and 2 * 11?
A: There is no difference. One is twenty, the other is twenty-two.
 
  • #41
There were 30 cows, and 28 chickens. 10 didn't.
 
  • #42
At the end of a particularly boring lecture, a Professor's students locked the door to the lecture theatre and said, when you make a pun we will let you out ...

The Professor said "o-pun the door"

... and the students let him out ...

Peter
 
  • #43
Q: What do British nuclear engineers eat?
A: Fission chips.

Q: What do you call singing in the shower when shampoo gets in your mouth?
A: A soap opera.

Q: What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A: One is heavy, the other one is a little lighter.
 
  • #44
I visited a yard sale and saw a stereo for only \$1 because its volume was stuck to full.

I thought, "I can't turn that down!"

But it turns out the fuse was also blown, so I realized I'd have to refuse.

No big loss though, as it also didn't have a power cord. I really wasn't looking to record anything anyway.
 
  • #45
I hate negative numbers. When counting, I stop at nothing to avoid them.
Nothing = 0.

Not all math puns are bad.
Just sum.

Catamorphism is the property of a cat to assume the shape of the vessel it is in.

45Ocj.jpg
 
  • #46
Q: How do you make 7 even?
A: You take away the "s".

Teacher: What's $\sin(Q)/\cos(Q)$?
Student: $\tan(Q)$.
Teacher: You're welcome.

Genie: What is your first wish?
Dave: I wish to be rich.
Genie: Granted, what is your second wish?
Rich: I want lots of money.
 
  • #47
Evgeny.Makarov said:
Q: How do you make 7 even?
A: You take away the "s".

Teacher: What's $\sin(Q)/\cos(Q)$?
Student: $\tan(Q)$.
Teacher: You're welcome.

Genie: What is your first wish?
Dave: I wish to be rich.
Genie: Granted, what is your second wish?
Rich: I want lots of money.
I'll fess up. Could someone please explain the Genie pun?

-Dan
 
  • #48
The genie granted Dave's first wish by making him Rich.
Look at the names carefully.
 
  • #49
Evgeny.Makarov said:
The genie granted Dave's first wish by making him Rich.
Look at the names carefully.
We really need an emoticon for "facepalms."

-Dan
 
  • #50
I'm still trying to figure out what 'Rich' will want next, once he's got lots of lottery tickets for money.
 

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