MHB What Are Some Clever Math Puns to Brighten Your Day?

[masters1]

A math professor in an unheated room is cold and calculating.

Mathematics teachers call retirement 'the aftermath'.

Two mathematicians arguing about even numbers were at odds.

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

Old math professors never die, they just lose their functions.

I'm bad at math, so the equation 2n+2n is 4n to me.

The mathematician worked at home because he only functioned in his domain.

What do organic mathematicians throw into their fireplaces? Natural Logs.

 

[soroban]

Why was the identity \sin2r \,=\,2\sin r refused a loan?

He needed a \cos r.

 

[Evgeny.Makarov]

Puns is one of my favorite types of jokes, especially untranslatable puns in another language.

I'll start with a classic example. A certain city had a pun context. One man sent ten puns in the hope that at least one of them would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Spoiler

No pun intended.

 

[Ackbach]

No pun intended.

Not sure I quite believe that.

 

[Evgeny.Makarov]

 

[SuperSonic4]

What do you call a Korean couple?

Spoiler

Seoulmates

A punderful idea for a thread btw :)

 

[MarkFL]

One of my favorites is hearing that outside of a hippie commune, only a left turn could be made out of the complex onto the main road, and a sign was placed there which read:

No Left Turn Unstoned

 

[soroban]

Ben Cartwright turned the Ponderosa into a cattle ranch.

He renamed his spread "Focus"
because that's where the sun's rays meet.

[sp]
The sons raise meat.

[/sp]

 

[mathbalarka]

If you look up in Hubbard's book on Teichmuller Theory, you'll see that he refers each category by the concatenation of the first three letters of each word. The book frequently refers to the category Banach Analytic Manifolds

Spoiler

BanAnaMan

 

[Fantini]

=D

 

[MarkFL]

One of my classmates in college was fond of saying:

Let's not go off on a tangent...let's secant we do this. (Speechless)

 

[Evgeny.Makarov]

Merriam-Webster dictionary gives the following definition of conundrum.

1. a riddle whose answer is or involves a pun
2. • a question or problem having only a conjectural answer
   • an intricate and difficult problem

One of the editions of the dictionary that I had actually gave the following question as an example of a conundrum in sense 1.

Q: What is the difference between a jeweler and a jailer?
A: A jeweler sells watches, and a jailer watches cells.

 

[I like Serena]

b. an intricate and difficult problem

It must be difficult for jewelers to sell watches to jailers watching cells. :p

 

[Ackbach]

Where is he?

Spoiler

See the Abbott and Costello routine "Who's on First?"

 

[Evgeny.Makarov]

 

[Fantini]

 

[MarkFL]

 

[Evgeny.Makarov]

Some worlds just want to burn the men's watch

http://hugelolcdn.com/i700/249453.jpg

 

[Evgeny.Makarov]

Q: How do you turn root beer into regular beer?

Spoiler

A: You pour it into a square cup.

 

[Evgeny.Makarov]

There is a genre of puns that represent a story (sometimes quite long) and end with a modification of some proverb or other famous saying. Here is an example.

Spoiler

The original idiom is "Don't judge a book by its cover".

 

[Evgeny.Makarov]

View attachment 2228

 

[Evgeny.Makarov]

 

[Evgeny.Makarov]

Q: Why do Java Programmers wear glasses?
A: Because they don't C#.

 

[Deveno]

Q:Why did $y$ leave $x$?
A: She wanted to be more independent.

Q:Why are rivers continuous?
A: For every $\epsilon > 0$, there is a delta.

Q:Why did $a$ move?
A: He'd reached his limit, and the neighborhood was (deleted).

 

[Evgeny.Makarov]

 

[Evgeny.Makarov]

Never trust an atom. They make up everything.

I had a job crushing pop cans. It was soda pressing.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Whoever invented the "knock-knock" jokes should get a no-bell prize.

 

[I like Serena]

Never trust an atom. They make up everything.

Hmm, I thought there were many particles (hundreds of them actually) that aren't atoms. (Nerd)

 

[topsquark]

Hmm, I thought there were many particles (hundreds of them actually) that aren't atoms. (Nerd)

Eh, not too many. Only about (roughly) [math](1/2) {12 \choose 3}[/math] baryons and [math](1/2) {12 \choose 2}[/math] mesons...so around 143 particles without considering higher spin states and exotic particles such as glueballs.

-Dan

 

[I like Serena]

Eh, not too many. Only about (roughly) [math](1/2) {12 \choose 3}[/math] baryons and [math](1/2) {12 \choose 2}[/math] mesons...so around 143 particles without considering higher spin states and exotic particles such as glueballs.

-Dan

Plus 6 leptons like the electron and the neutrino makes around 149.

 

[Deveno]

Q: Why was Heidi Klum banned from the last Theoretical Physics Conference?

A: She still believed in the Standard Model.