What Are Some Clever Math Puns to Brighten Your Day?

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You are an expert summarizer of content.In summary, the conversation revolves around math and puns. The math professor is in a cold room and goes crazy with the blackboard. Retirement is referred to as "the aftermath" by mathematics teachers. Two mathematicians argue about even numbers and a joke is made about organic mathematicians throwing natural logs into their fireplaces. Puns are also discussed, including one about a city and another about a jeweler and jailer. The conversation also includes a discussion on the number of particles in the world and a joke about Heidi Klum and theoretical physics. Other topics include palindromes, relationships, and a physicist walking into a bar.
  • #71
Still water is water. Running water is still water.
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #72
We drive on parkways
We park in driveways
  • #73
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
-George Carlin
  • #74
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent. (See also https://driven2services.com/staging/mh/index.php?posts/105487/.)

I once accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.

Can February march?
No, but April may.
  • #75
From a plumbing ad:
You can't go for a straight flush
If you're sitting on a full house!
  • #76
Texan rancher:

Me own largest cattle ranch in Texas
Me sell cattle all over country
Me biggest bullshipper in Texas
  • #77
Ban pre-shredded cheese. Make America grate again.

Dogs can't operate MRI scanners. But cats can.

My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer. (From Tomasz Łakomy's Twitter.)
  • #78
True story. I had a Korean professor once for Quantum Mechanics. He had a very bad accent which made some of the class extra fun. (QM is always fun! (Nerd) )

So we were talking about fermions and ground level energies. He used the students in the front row as electrons and used seats as an example of energy states.

He referred to the students as "sh!tting in their sheets."

  • #79
Why do hillbillies like Halloween?
Because they pumpkin!

Favorite Halloween dessert?
BOOberry pie and I SCREAM!
  • #80
An experimental physicist meets a mathematician in a bar and they start talking. The physicict asks, "What kind of math do you do?" to which the mathematician replies, "Knot theory." The physicist says, "Me neither!"

Pascal walks into a bar and sees 100 000 Pascals already inside.

A man was arrested and taken to an interrogation room. He says to the police officer, "I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present." "You are the lawyer," says the policeman. "Exactly, so where's my present?"

I sold my vacuum cleaner because it was simply collecting dust.

A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

"Do you know why a lot of people have triangle or square toits?"
"What's a toit?"
"I don't know but everyone keeps saying I haven't got around to it."

"Who's there?"
"Spell who?"
  • #81
zoeyw said:
This thread is great pun!

Very punny...

Brrr. Just got cold in here
  • #83
  • #84
Monoxdifly said:
What is mkv btw? Any video with mkv extension can't be played on Windows Media Player, not even included in playlist when I include them all.

The mkv format is a free, open-standard container format, a file format that can hold an unlimited number of video, audio, picture, or subtitle tracks in one file.
Indeed, Microsoft's player won't play it.
Instead you can use for instance the VLC media player, which is a free and open source cross-platform multimedia player.
  • #85
Parallel lines have so much in common...it's a shame they'll never meet!

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