MHB What Are Some Clever Math Puns to Brighten Your Day?

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The discussion revolves around a variety of math-related puns and jokes, showcasing the humor found in mathematical concepts and terminology. Participants share clever wordplay, such as jokes about mathematicians, equations, and even physics, often blending humor with technical references. The thread highlights the enjoyment of puns, with examples like "Why do Java programmers wear glasses? Because they don't C#" and "Never trust an atom; they make up everything." There is a playful exploration of language, with contributors sharing anecdotes and humorous observations about math and science, emphasizing the lighthearted side of academia. The conversation also touches on the challenges of understanding complex subjects, using humor to bridge gaps in knowledge and engage participants in a fun, communal experience.
  • #51
Evgeny.Makarov said:
The genie granted Dave's first wish by making him Rich.
Look at the names carefully.

Phew (Sweating), that's cold. I love it! (Rofl)
 
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  • #52
Evgeny.Makarov said:
The genie granted Dave's first wish by making him Rich.
Look at the names carefully.

An explanation on this please
 
  • #53
mathlearn said:
An explanation on this please
Dave wanted to become rich, but genie instead changed his name to Rich.

Paddy and Murphy are on a cruise ship late one night.
Paddy says to Murphy ‘Boy, it's awfully quiet tonight.’
Murphy replies ‘They're all probably watching the band.’
Paddy says ‘Band? There's no band on tonight.’
Murphy, stunned, replies ‘But I swear someone said a band on ship.’

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Isabel.
Isabel who?
Isabel Neccassary-on-a-bike.

I don't always tell dad jokes.
But when I do, he laughs.
 
  • #54
I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage.
I lost my case.

I've been sending "get well soon" cards to my friends who can't pay their water bill.

Have you heard the rumor going around about butter? Never mind, I shouldn't spread it.

Q: What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
A: Aye matey.

Q: Which guns don't kill animals?
A: Vegans.
 
  • #55
In Jamaica you can get a steak and kidney pie for £1.75, a chicken and mushroom pie for £1.60 and an apple pie for £2.15. In St. Kitts and Nevis a steak and kidney pie will cost you £2, a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is £1.70 and a cherry pie can be yours for £1.95. In Trinidad and Tobago, that steak and kidney pie comes in at £2.50, but you can buy two for £3.50, while the chicken and mushroom pie is £2.25, or two for £3.25. They also offer meat and potato pie for £2, or two for £3. Their apple pies and cherry pies are often sold for £2.75, or two (any combination) for £4.75.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
 
  • #56
Person 1: "Have you heard about Orion's belt? It's a big waist of space".
Person 2: "Terrible joke. Only three stars".

$$\frac{\text{NaCl}}{\text{NaOH}}$$
The base is under a salt.

No matter how nice your kids are, German children are kinder.

Q: Why are variables $i$ and $j$ a good source of information?
A: They are always in the loop.
 
  • #57
Name of Irishman bouncing off the walls : Rick O'Shea !

Halloween top dessert: Booooberry pie and I scream !
 
  • #58
Wilmer said:
Name of Irishman bouncing off the walls : Rick O'Shea !

I once actually knew a man with that name, but I called him "Geddy" because of his striking resemblance to Geddy Lee. He once said his idea of a 7 course meal is a six-pack and a potato. :)
 
  • #59
I used to have two kidneys. Then I grew up. Now I have two adult knees.

I have two arms, but I also have forearms.

Why do cows have hoofs instead of paws? Because they lactose.
 
  • #60
Did you know the first French fries weren't made in France?
They were cooked in Greece.

Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.
There would be mass confusion.

Russian high school students have to wade through the huge four-volume novel "Warrant Peas" by Leo Tolstoy.
 
  • #61
I don't have kids, but I love to tell dad jokes. Does this make me a faux pa?

When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it is fully groan.

The other day I and my girlfriend watched three movies back to back. It's a good thing I was the one facing the TV.
 
  • #62
Eileen has one leg shorter than the other.

Is it ok to park where a sign says "Fine for parking"?
 
  • #63
The poor snake didn't have a pit to hiss in !
 
  • #64
Wilmer said:
The poor snake didn't have a pit to hiss in !
You did this one on another forum. I'm still not going to 'Like" you. (Fubar)

-Dan
 
  • #65
Smoking kills people but cures salmon.

I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don't know Y.

I took part in the sun tanning Olympics.
I just got bronze.

The last two are taken from the Edinburgh festival.
 
  • #66
Clock repair shop ad:
"If your clock don't tick, tock to us"

Car rental agency ad:
"It's the lease we can do for you".
 
  • #67
Evgeny.Makarov said:
My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart. It was like love meant nothing to her.

Or perhaps it was because you had too many faults?
 
  • #68
A self-preservation society is a group whose members will do anything to stay alive, even if it kills them.
 
  • #69
I remember seeing a truck from a sewer service company with the slogan "We're number 1 in the number 2 business"!
 
  • #70
The society for the preservation of wooden toilet seats: The Birch John Society.
 
  • #71
Still water is water. Running water is still water.
 
  • #72
We drive on parkways
We park in driveways
 
  • #73
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
-George Carlin
 
  • #74
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent. (See also https://driven2services.com/staging/mh/index.php?posts/105487/.)

I once accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.

Can February march?
No, but April may.
 
  • #75
From a plumbing ad:
You can't go for a straight flush
If you're sitting on a full house!
 
  • #76
Texan rancher:

Me own largest cattle ranch in Texas
Me sell cattle all over country
Me biggest bullshipper in Texas
 
  • #77
Ban pre-shredded cheese. Make America grate again.

Dogs can't operate MRI scanners. But cats can.

My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer. (From Tomasz Łakomy's Twitter.)
 
  • #78
True story. I had a Korean professor once for Quantum Mechanics. He had a very bad accent which made some of the class extra fun. (QM is always fun! (Nerd) )

So we were talking about fermions and ground level energies. He used the students in the front row as electrons and used seats as an example of energy states.

He referred to the students as "sh!tting in their sheets."

-Dan
 
  • #79
Why do hillbillies like Halloween?
Because they pumpkin!

Favorite Halloween dessert?
BOOberry pie and I SCREAM!
 
  • #80
An experimental physicist meets a mathematician in a bar and they start talking. The physicict asks, "What kind of math do you do?" to which the mathematician replies, "Knot theory." The physicist says, "Me neither!"

Pascal walks into a bar and sees 100 000 Pascals already inside.

A man was arrested and taken to an interrogation room. He says to the police officer, "I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present." "You are the lawyer," says the policeman. "Exactly, so where's my present?"

I sold my vacuum cleaner because it was simply collecting dust.

A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

"Do you know why a lot of people have triangle or square toits?"
"What's a toit?"
"I don't know but everyone keeps saying I haven't got around to it."

"Knock-knock."
"Who's there?"
"Spell."
"Spell who?"
"W-H-O."
 
  • #81
zoeyw said:
This thread is great pun!

Very punny...

Brrr. Just got cold in here
 
  • #83
  • #84
Monoxdifly said:
What is mkv btw? Any video with mkv extension can't be played on Windows Media Player, not even included in playlist when I include them all.

The mkv format is a free, open-standard container format, a file format that can hold an unlimited number of video, audio, picture, or subtitle tracks in one file.
Indeed, Microsoft's player won't play it.
Instead you can use for instance the VLC media player, which is a free and open source cross-platform multimedia player.
 
  • #85
Parallel lines have so much in common...it's a shame they'll never meet!
 

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