MHB What Are Some Clever Math Puns to Brighten Your Day?

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The discussion revolves around a variety of math-related puns and jokes, showcasing the humor found in mathematical concepts and terminology. Participants share clever wordplay, such as jokes about mathematicians, equations, and even physics, often blending humor with technical references. The thread highlights the enjoyment of puns, with examples like "Why do Java programmers wear glasses? Because they don't C#" and "Never trust an atom; they make up everything." There is a playful exploration of language, with contributors sharing anecdotes and humorous observations about math and science, emphasizing the lighthearted side of academia. The conversation also touches on the challenges of understanding complex subjects, using humor to bridge gaps in knowledge and engage participants in a fun, communal experience.
  • #31
I like Serena said:
Plus 6 leptons like the electron and the neutrino makes around 149.
Well, there's also photons, two W's, a Z, (from electro-weak theory), gluons, plus some 24 (?) or so X and Y particles for GUT. No idea how many interaction bosons are added by TOEs. In addition, most higher spin states are so much higher in energy they are commonly interpreted as distinct particles. For example, a proton is made up of uud and the [math]\Delta ^+[/math] is also uud. The difference is that the proton is spin 1/2 and the [math]\Delta[/math] is spin 3/2. Technically all of these higher spin particles need to be added to the list.

Okay, too serious.

If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer team up, they'd be alloys.

-Dan
 
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  • #32
I've got my doctorate in palindromes. So now I am addressed as Dr. Awkward.

On the shelf there are ten math books, five geography books, and the rest is history.

Q: Why doesn't the Guinness Book of Records consider people whose noses are longer than 11 inches for the longest nose record?
[sp]A: They say it would be a foot.[/sp]
 
  • #33

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  • #34
My girlfriend is like $\sqrt{-100}$.

[sp]She is a perfect 10, but also imaginary. :([/sp]
 
  • #35
A double-language pun.

There were two cats: English by the name One-two-three and French by the name Un-deux-trois. They decided to swim across the English Channel. Who came the first? It was One-two-three because Un-deux-trois cat sank.

[sp]"Un-deux-trois cat sank" sounds like "Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq", i.e., "One, two, three, four, five" in French.[/sp]
 
  • #36
(groans in great pain)

-Dan
 
  • #37
My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart. It was like love meant nothing to her.

I'm making a graph of my past relationships. It has an 'ex'-axis and a 'why?'-axis.

Puns: that's a rare medium well done.
 
  • #38
The irregular fraction hotline works 24/7.

So a physicist walks into h-bar...
and tells the bartender, "I'll have two pies."

If there is a scientific journal devoted to developments in electricity and magnetism, it should be called Current Events.
 
  • #39

Mugger: Give me your money or you're Algebra.

Victim: You mean History.

Mugger: Don't change the subject!

 
  • #40
If someone asks you to spell "part" backwards, don't. It's a trap.

19 and 20 had a fight.
21.

Q: What's the difference between 2 * 10 and 2 * 11?
A: There is no difference. One is twenty, the other is twenty-two.
 
  • #41
There were 30 cows, and 28 chickens. 10 didn't.
 
  • #42
At the end of a particularly boring lecture, a Professor's students locked the door to the lecture theatre and said, when you make a pun we will let you out ...

The Professor said "o-pun the door"

... and the students let him out ...

Peter
 
  • #43
Q: What do British nuclear engineers eat?
A: Fission chips.

Q: What do you call singing in the shower when shampoo gets in your mouth?
A: A soap opera.

Q: What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A: One is heavy, the other one is a little lighter.
 
  • #44
I visited a yard sale and saw a stereo for only \$1 because its volume was stuck to full.

I thought, "I can't turn that down!"

But it turns out the fuse was also blown, so I realized I'd have to refuse.

No big loss though, as it also didn't have a power cord. I really wasn't looking to record anything anyway.
 
  • #45
I hate negative numbers. When counting, I stop at nothing to avoid them.
Nothing = 0.

Not all math puns are bad.
Just sum.

Catamorphism is the property of a cat to assume the shape of the vessel it is in.

45Ocj.jpg
 
  • #46
Q: How do you make 7 even?
A: You take away the "s".

Teacher: What's $\sin(Q)/\cos(Q)$?
Student: $\tan(Q)$.
Teacher: You're welcome.

Genie: What is your first wish?
Dave: I wish to be rich.
Genie: Granted, what is your second wish?
Rich: I want lots of money.
 
  • #47
Evgeny.Makarov said:
Q: How do you make 7 even?
A: You take away the "s".

Teacher: What's $\sin(Q)/\cos(Q)$?
Student: $\tan(Q)$.
Teacher: You're welcome.

Genie: What is your first wish?
Dave: I wish to be rich.
Genie: Granted, what is your second wish?
Rich: I want lots of money.
I'll fess up. Could someone please explain the Genie pun?

-Dan
 
  • #48
The genie granted Dave's first wish by making him Rich.
Look at the names carefully.
 
  • #49
Evgeny.Makarov said:
The genie granted Dave's first wish by making him Rich.
Look at the names carefully.
We really need an emoticon for "facepalms."

-Dan
 
  • #50
I'm still trying to figure out what 'Rich' will want next, once he's got lots of lottery tickets for money.
 
  • #51
Evgeny.Makarov said:
The genie granted Dave's first wish by making him Rich.
Look at the names carefully.

Phew (Sweating), that's cold. I love it! (Rofl)
 
  • #52
Evgeny.Makarov said:
The genie granted Dave's first wish by making him Rich.
Look at the names carefully.

An explanation on this please
 
  • #53
mathlearn said:
An explanation on this please
Dave wanted to become rich, but genie instead changed his name to Rich.

Paddy and Murphy are on a cruise ship late one night.
Paddy says to Murphy ‘Boy, it's awfully quiet tonight.’
Murphy replies ‘They're all probably watching the band.’
Paddy says ‘Band? There's no band on tonight.’
Murphy, stunned, replies ‘But I swear someone said a band on ship.’

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Isabel.
Isabel who?
Isabel Neccassary-on-a-bike.

I don't always tell dad jokes.
But when I do, he laughs.
 
  • #54
I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage.
I lost my case.

I've been sending "get well soon" cards to my friends who can't pay their water bill.

Have you heard the rumor going around about butter? Never mind, I shouldn't spread it.

Q: What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
A: Aye matey.

Q: Which guns don't kill animals?
A: Vegans.
 
  • #55
In Jamaica you can get a steak and kidney pie for £1.75, a chicken and mushroom pie for £1.60 and an apple pie for £2.15. In St. Kitts and Nevis a steak and kidney pie will cost you £2, a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is £1.70 and a cherry pie can be yours for £1.95. In Trinidad and Tobago, that steak and kidney pie comes in at £2.50, but you can buy two for £3.50, while the chicken and mushroom pie is £2.25, or two for £3.25. They also offer meat and potato pie for £2, or two for £3. Their apple pies and cherry pies are often sold for £2.75, or two (any combination) for £4.75.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
 
  • #56
Person 1: "Have you heard about Orion's belt? It's a big waist of space".
Person 2: "Terrible joke. Only three stars".

$$\frac{\text{NaCl}}{\text{NaOH}}$$
The base is under a salt.

No matter how nice your kids are, German children are kinder.

Q: Why are variables $i$ and $j$ a good source of information?
A: They are always in the loop.
 
  • #57
Name of Irishman bouncing off the walls : Rick O'Shea !

Halloween top dessert: Booooberry pie and I scream !
 
  • #58
Wilmer said:
Name of Irishman bouncing off the walls : Rick O'Shea !

I once actually knew a man with that name, but I called him "Geddy" because of his striking resemblance to Geddy Lee. He once said his idea of a 7 course meal is a six-pack and a potato. :)
 
  • #59
I used to have two kidneys. Then I grew up. Now I have two adult knees.

I have two arms, but I also have forearms.

Why do cows have hoofs instead of paws? Because they lactose.
 
  • #60
Did you know the first French fries weren't made in France?
They were cooked in Greece.

Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.
There would be mass confusion.

Russian high school students have to wade through the huge four-volume novel "Warrant Peas" by Leo Tolstoy.
 

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