What Do You Do If You Were a Rock Star?

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if your coup d'etat fails and you are arrested and put into a situation such that you now resemble your former avatar?

Apparently the manner of operation is to gather an army of wrenchman about you, storm the office of the prime steak of Kant'a Government Offices, accomplish a leisurely, indecisive slice up of the state and it's bOOties, cup'us, award yourself a salary sufficient to pay the National debt of the United States of America and BUY GAS FOR THE SUV! begin paying off the rent on Canada, leasing forward to its debtiny! Under the Maple cLeafer and Parsin's!

What do you do if the plagerizer of your work(s), phones you up, and tells you they want the 'accreditation cheques' sent out, in the mail, again, right NOW!??

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons What do you do if the plagerizer of your work(s), phones you up, and tells you they want the 'accreditation cheques' sent out, in the mail, again, right NOW!?? [/B]

YOU think YOU"VE been PLAGARIZED!? YOU don't know the MeAnInG of PLAGERISM!
How would you like it if you had been CLONED against your will, like SOME people I know have been??!?
What do you do if, while dozing in your chair at a table outside Le Lapin Dormant,(an establishment which you own, by the way) with a petite glass of sherry and a demi-tasse de cafe, two extremely beautiful young Francaises pass the Cafe, walking leisurely in their loose summer dresses, and you overhear one whisper o the other:"Oh! Comme ce lapin a les yeux malins!" ?

 

[phoenixthoth]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
YOU think YOU"VE been PLAGARIZED!? YOU don't know the MeAnInG of PLAGERISM!
How would you like it if you had been CLONED against your will, like SOME people I know have been??!?



What do you do if, while dozing in your chair at a table outside Le Lapin Dormant,(an establishment which you own, by the way) with a petite glass of sherry and a demi-tasse de cafe, two extremely beautiful young Francaises pass the Cafe, walking leisurely in their loose summer dresses, and you overhear one whisper o the other:"Oh! Comme ce lapin a les yeux malins!" ?

in a voice slightly above a whisper, i might say (excuse the bad grammer), "excusez-moi, mes dames, je suis un loup, pas un lapin."

what do you do if your attempts to scare them off backfire and they turn into half women, half wolf creatures and they say, "nous vous prendrons maintenant à notre tanière de werewolf?"

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by phoenixthoth
what do you do if your attempts to scare them off backfire and they turn into half women, half wolf creatures and they say, "nous vous prendrons maintenant à notre tanière de werewolf?"

Ululate!

What do you do if you try to "get out", and you keep finding that all you have succeeded at doing, is getting in?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if you try to "get out", and you keep finding that all you have succeeded at doing, is getting in?

Welcome to the Hotel California.
If Albert Einstein and Albert Schweizer got into a fistfight who would win?

 

[sandinmyears]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
If Albert Einstein and Albert Schweizer got into a fistfight who would win?

Einstein, (Schweitzer would "turn the other cheek"), but the argument is relative as Einstein was a wimp and Schweitzer was a theologian.

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by sandinmyears
Einstein, (Schweitzer would "turn the other cheek"), but the argument is relative as Einstein was a wimp and Schweitzer was a theologian.

Uhmm, well the answer to this question is so obvious that I'm not even a going to bother typin it out as that would be a total waste of the time it takes me to type, in the first place, not as if I can't do it, but that well, you know typing's hard, and it takes soooooo long that well, I'd just as soon spend the time doing something else productive you know somehting other then typing out lots and lots of endless words.... Yadda, and so on, Yakkity-Yak, ad infinitum...

What do you do if your a comedy writer, you are supposed to answer the dumbest of questions, asked of you, and then you are suppose to ask an even stupider question, in responce, and you can only think of nothing but brilliant questions today?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if your a comedy writer, you are supposed to answer the dumbest of questions, asked of you, and then you are suppose to ask an even stupider question, in responce, and you can only think of nothing but brilliant questions today?

You have just described my life for the past two months, plagarist.What's the best defence against the poison-spitting sand critters of the Mongolian desert?

 

[sandinmyears]

What's the best defence against the poison-spitting sand critters of the Mongolian desert?

A: Purple paint, ofcourse!

Q: What if you (pessimistically) run out of purple paint in the midst of a perilous plague of poison-spitting critters?

 

[selfAdjoint]

Originally posted by sandinmyears
A: Purple paint, ofcourse!

Q: What if you (pessimistically) run out of purple paint in the midst of a perilous plague of poison-spitting critters?

Punt!

What if punting the purple paint pot at the perilous plague of poinson-spitting critters palls?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by selfAdjoint
What if punting the purple paint pot at the perilous plague of poinson-spitting critters palls?

Pole-vault, post-haste, past pesky poison projectiles.What is a person supposed to do when they get a head stuck in their song?

 

[tribdog]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Pole-vault, post-haste, past pesky poison projectiles.


What is a person supposed to do when they get a head stuck in their song?

drum solo

What do you do if your get up and go has got up and went?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by tribdog
What do you do if your get up and go has got up and went?

Got cocaine?What do you do if you suddenly realize that "Shakespeare" spelled backwards doesn't really mean much of anything?

 

[tribdog]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Got cocaine?


What do you do if you suddenly realize that "Shakespeare" spelled backwards doesn't really mean much of anything?

Start reading books by Kramer (remark)


What do you do if you suddenly find your index finger has switch position with your pinkie?

 

[sandinmyears]

What do you do if you suddenly realize that "Shakespeare" spelled backwards doesn't really mean much of anything?

A: Drink some OOSHY BOOZE (Pronounce it backwards) :D

Q: What do you do if you travel all the way to Japan only to find that they are all out of Ooshy Booze?

 

[sandinmyears]

Oops. Sorry Tribdog. Didn't see your post.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by tribdog
What do you do if you suddenly find your index finger has switch position with your pinkie?

Abandon the practise of saying "I know it like the back of my hand."What do you do if the garbage truck deposits garbage instead of picking it up?

 

[sandinmyears]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if the garbage truck deposits garbage instead of picking it up?

A: Celebrate "Pot Luck" Supper!

Q: What do you do if you go all the way to Japan only to find that they're out of Ooshy Booze?

 

[Rockdog]

I'd drink some cola!

What would you do if you were "doing it" with your girlfriend when your whole family accidentally walked into your room?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by Rockdog
What would you do if you were "doing it" with your girlfriend when your whole family accidentally walked into your room?

Play Incest?? it's a 'family game' I hear.

What do you do if your entire family walks in, on you and your girlfriend, and asks if they can all join in??

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons What do you do if your entire family walks in, on you and your girlfriend, and asks if they can all join in??

Realize that someone has inadvertantly accessed a corner of Mr. Robin Parsons' immagination that should be obscured from human perception forever.What do you do if Godzilla and Mothra get into a fight over who gets the recyclables out of your garbage can at 5:30 A.M. when you're still sound asleep?

 

[sandinmyears]

What do you do if Godzilla and Mothra get into a fight over who gets the recyclables out of your garbage can at 5:30 A.M. when you're still sound asleep?

A: (My 9yo dd came up with this answer): You poop on a plate and throw it out the window and it lands on their heads.

Q: (My 9yo dd came up with this question): What do you do if you're hopping and skipping to school and you fall in a mud puddle and you find Count Dracula trying to suck your head off?

 

[phoenixthoth]

perform the group action given by the following:
{(self, dracula), (dracula, self)}.

then, keep drinking until you get full.

what do you do if you forgot your group activitator at home and you have misplaced your lightsaber?

 

[Mentat]

Originally posted by phoenixthoth
perform the group action given by the following:
{(self, dracula), (dracula, self)}.

then, keep drinking until you get full.

what do you do if you forgot your group activitator at home and you have misplaced your lightsaber?

Shoot yourself in the foot with your laser gun and beg mercy on the basis of stupidity.

What do you do if you wake up in a white room with no doors, and nothing inside of it - where the light doesn't come from any particular direction, and it's so perfectly white that you can't tell there's a wall there until you run into it?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mentat What do you do if you wake up in a white room with no doors, and nothing inside of it - where the light doesn't come from any particular direction, and it's so perfectly white that you can't tell there's a wall there until you run into it?

Realize that you've ended up in that old rohrshack test about your attitude toward death.What do you do if, on your way to work in the morning, you look down and notice there is a small ugly gremlin trying to comandeer the cars pedals?

 

[Rockdog]

Then I'd change it.
What would you do if you woke up to find that your insane wife had cut off your 'member'?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Rockdog
What would you do if you woke up to find that your insane wife had cut off your 'member'?

Realize that you'd ended up in that old rohrshack test about your attitude toward women.

What do you do if you find your cat out in the back yard fighting with the neighbor's pet squid?

 

[Zargawee]

What do you do if you find your cat out in the back yard fighting with the neighbor's pet squid?

Ask the neighbor to give me his squid so that my cat don't have to get out when it wants to fight with the squid .


What do you do if your cat requested to get a cigarette from you ?

 

[sandinmyears]

Originally posted by Zargawee
What do you do if your cat requested to get a cigarette from you ?

A: Explain to him how smoking can shorten the life of a cat to only 8 years...9 at most.

Q: What do you do if your 10-year-old cat requests to start smoking?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by sandinmyears
What do you do if your 10-year-old cat requests to start smoking?

Seek professional help, your cat seems to be talking...

What do you do if in seeking professional help, your psychiatrist tells you that, at ten years of age, it is normal for a cat to begin talking??

 

[sandinmyears]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if in seeking professional help, your psychiatrist tells you that, at ten years of age, it is normal for a cat to begin talking??

A: Consider it understood that your psychiatrist subscribes to Carl Rodgers' "Client Centered Therapy" and is only repeating back to you what you've just told him.

Q: What do you do if you fly off your handle
Bump into the staircase and fall on the mantel?
In the process of falling break 5 of your toes,
Forgetting the cause that first brought on your woes?

 

[Astrophysics]

Originally posted by sandinmyears
Q: What do you do if you fly off your handle
Bump into the staircase and fall on the mantel?
In the process of falling break 5 of your toes,
Forgetting the cause that first brought on your woes?

Start learning to walk on my hands.

What do you do if you get laughed out by all the "cool" kids, while walking on the street on your hands?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by Astrophysics
What do you do if you get laughed out by all the "cool" kids, while walking on the street on your hands?

Ride past them on your bike!

What do you do if, you come to the "what do you do" if thread, and you forget to type the "what do you do if" line?

 

[megashawn]

Ahh damn you broke it, now we got to start all over.

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by megashawn
Ahh damn you broke it, now we got to start all over.

*Pulls rope* <<Insert sound of "sputterings" and "gaseous outputs">>

What do you do if you restart the thread, only to find it is now in desperate need of fuel, and you only have a 'one post' supply, currently left?? HUh??