What is the psychology behind obsessive behavior towards someone?

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Discussion Overview

The discussion revolves around the psychology behind obsessive behavior towards someone, particularly in the context of romantic interest and social interactions. Participants share personal experiences and perspectives on interpreting signals from others, the nature of attraction, and the implications of perceived interest.

Discussion Character

  • Exploratory
  • Debate/contested
  • Conceptual clarification

Main Points Raised

  • One participant recounts a personal experience of feeling watched by a girl he likes, suggesting a possible mutual interest.
  • Another participant advises caution, suggesting that the girl may not have any intention behind her actions and encourages moving on.
  • Some participants argue that if the girl is looking at him, it may indicate she is interested and might be waiting for him to make a move.
  • There are differing views on whether to interpret the girl's behavior as friendly or as a form of teasing, with one participant reflecting on their own past behavior towards boys.
  • Several participants suggest that directly asking the girl about her intentions could clarify the situation.
  • One participant emphasizes the importance of confidence and taking initiative, while another cautions against the idea of never feeling intimidated, suggesting a balance is necessary.
  • Anecdotes are shared about similar situations, illustrating the complexities of interpreting social cues in romantic contexts.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Participants express a range of opinions, with no clear consensus on the interpretation of the girl's behavior or the best course of action. Some advocate for direct communication, while others suggest caution and self-focus.

Contextual Notes

Participants reference cultural differences in dating norms and behaviors, indicating that interpretations may vary based on social context.

Who May Find This Useful

Individuals interested in understanding social dynamics in romantic contexts, particularly young adults navigating attraction and communication.

Kian_boem98
last monday I was staring into space & i was staring at the trash can & i see the girl i liked looking at me while she was walking over to throw something in the trash can. Then later I was staring at the wall & when i look over she was Leaning her Head Against her Hand While looking at me & smiling. Then on Wednesday i heard her saying ” i don’t know why he looks at me.
 
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Kian_boem98 said:
last monday I was staring into space & i was staring at the trash can & i see the girl i liked looking at me while she was walking over to throw something in the trash can. Then later I was staring at the wall & when i look over she was Leaning her Head Against her Hand While looking at me & smiling. Then on Wednesday i heard her saying ” i don’t know why he looks at me.
Probably nothing.

I used to have guys come up to me all of the time saying "I noticed that you keep looking at me". I am near sighted. I'd never seen them before, probably too far away for me to see. Don't make something out of nothing. Now that you've heard her say "I don't know why he looks at me". Assume there's no intention there and move along.
 
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Kian_boem98 said:
last monday I was staring into space & i was staring at the trash can & i see the girl i liked looking at me while she was walking over to throw something in the trash can. Then later I was staring at the wall & when i look over she was Leaning her Head Against her Hand While looking at me & smiling. Then on Wednesday i heard her saying ” i don’t know why he looks at me.
Dont listen to dEvo, bro...if all guys took that advice then there would be far less romance in the world! LOL

Listen...If she was looking at you both times you happened to glance in her direction than chances are she is interested in you. Probably wants to talk. She was also probably saying that thing you overheard her say...about you looking at her...intentionally loud enough for you to hear. Hoping you'd make the first move. You should do so, amigo. Life's to short not to. Never be intimidated by a female. Trust me, they are as interested in hooking up as you are, if not more. They simply tend to be more covert in displaying their motives and desires.

My wife was a college cheerleader and I used to think was out of my league. Till I cowboyed up and made the first move. We were married a year later.

Go go it. Goethe said that if you are bold mighty for example will come to your aid.
Let us know what happens.

VB
 
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Evo said:
I used to have guys come up to me all of the time saying "I noticed that you keep looking at me". I am near sighted. I'd never seen them before, probably too far away for me to see.
This is actually the plot of an episode of Happy Days, IIRC. When Richie is in his band.

A girl in the audience keeps looking at him on stage while he's playing, so he approaches her afterward and says 'Hey, I saw you looking at me'.(he's so smooth). She says "Was I? I'm blind as a bat without these." And then she whips on her glasses.
 
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Either one of two things:
1. Like Evo stated, that she didn't mean anything by it and was tying to be friendly.
2. She's intentionally trying to get you frustrated. This is fun for some females. Show her that you have the hots for her, and you are handing over power to make you feel good and bad... This is probably not the case, but it's possible she's delivering some old-fashioned torture. Females are very clever, when they are young it can come across as cruel. I know that I feel bad sometimes reflecting on the things I did to boys. I considered it retribution at the time though.

I think you should let it go and focus on women, not girls, when you become a man. What is the point of lusting when you are young and it's highly unlikely that something will come of it? Be nice to girls, but don't take it personally when they act that way, and start focusing on yourself. People are people, no sense in worshiping them to the point that you feel bad about yourself!
 
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One quick way to find out what she means, if anything, is to ask her.
 
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Not sure how it works in your culture or country. If I was advising a young man in the US, I'd say to man up and ask her on a date if you liked her. That's the surest way to find out what's up with a young lady in our culture. Yes, your may get told no, but then you can move along.
 
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<Moderator's note: merged from another thread, same OP, same subject>

So there's this girl that's in one of my class that hasn't been coming to school for a few weeks Now. And when she came back on Friday she was late to class and when she walks into class i look and see her looking at me while she is walking to her Desk. But I just look away.
 
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velocity_boy said:
...Never be intimidated by a female. ...
I know what you mean, but I don't think that's quite right. Instead, I think the right path is to roll with the the intimidation and not let it stop you. As in this example:

velocity_boy said:
...My wife was a college cheerleader and I used to think was out of my league. Till I cowboyed up and made the first move. We were married a year later.
...

Telling somebody to never be intimidated might be taken as instruction to never pursue anything that's a little intimidating.
 
  • #10
"Fortune favors the bold"-Virgil
"Discretion is the better part of valor"-Shakespeare
"Find a happy medium and live your life"-Me
 
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  • #11
Seen this in action myself with my son. We're at Barnes & Noble and he's into his comic book as some young beautiful girl notices him (I was looking in the direction of the girl but not with my son as I too was looking casually at books) and then proceeds to walk his way once, he doesn't notice, again she walks by this time picking a comic book nearby, again he doesn't notice so I nudge him and tell him this girls wants to meet or talk to you... she leaves and then he finds the guts to talk to her... now they are daters. I say take the bait next time and who knows she/he could be your soul mate for life. Worst could happen is a 'no' and life does not end there.
 
  • #12
Member keeps opening thread after thread on this for no reason. Only makes the opening post, doesn't respond to replies. Just did it again. Thread closed. Trolling stopped.
 
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