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What's that stuff around your eyes?

  1. Jul 20, 2010 #1
    "well, that's kinda . . . is there anyway . . . I mean . . . why exactly . . . just what exactly is all that stuf around your eyes?"

    "dad! it's makeup. Don't you like it?"

    "well, it's kinda' a lot don't you think?"

    "dad, I think it looks nice."

    "yeah, well . . . how about nothing? how would that work?"

    "what do you mean nothing?"

    "I mean nothing, nothing. That wouldn't work?"

    "you mean don't wear any eye makeup!"

    "yeah, how about that?"

    "I'd look terrible!"

    "No you wouldn't. you're very pretty."

    "Not without makeup I'm not"

    "yes you are."

    "dad, you'd say that no matter what."

    "no I wouldn't."

    "would too. Dad, how do I look when I wake up in the morning?"

    "you look very pretty sweetheart."


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  3. Jul 20, 2010 #2


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    Um. So are you for makepup? Or agin it?

    And who's the chick?
  4. Jul 20, 2010 #3
    Hello Dave. She plays on "Gossip Girls". Don't follow it and I don't know how old she is. Maybe 19 I would guess. Just saw it in the news and thought it was kinda' a lot of makup and wondered how I would approach it (carefully) if she was mine. :)
  5. Jul 20, 2010 #4


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    That's not makeup. That's the spectral mark left by the souls of her victims as she drains them from their bodies.

    It's similar in nature to the woman in heroes that would cry black ooze and kill everyone in the vicinity
  6. Jul 20, 2010 #5
    The idea is to be against it in such a way that she does it anyway. It's the cheapest way to channel the rebelliousness.
  7. Jul 20, 2010 #6


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    Well, if my 19-year-old daughter were starring in a hit TV show, I would not have a lot to say about her choice of makeup. I'd just keep in her good books and hope she remembers when it come time to be put to pasture.
  8. Jul 20, 2010 #7
    Hey Dave. Gotta' daughter? I wouldn't object or disapprove of her makup when she's 13 let alone when she 19. Gotta' empower them during their teen years, give them freedom to make decisions on their own (within reason) so that engagements like this are common and non-threatening, but rather just fun and play-serious.
  9. Jul 20, 2010 #8


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    Just looking at that pic makes my eyes burn and itch. Does that mean I have super powers?
  10. Jul 20, 2010 #9


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    Closest I've got is a 16yo a girl next door who's friends with my boys.

    Smart, savvy and sweet as sweet can be, but she dresses like a ten dollar hooker. (No joke, we're talking silver sequined tube tops and short-shorts.) She's not being a tease, she just seems to like dressing that way.
  11. Jul 20, 2010 #10
    Jackmell, as a woman who well recalls teenage years and make-up quarrels with parents, I'd leave my daughter alone about it. I'd make sure that she knew the proper quality products to buy so she didn't damage her eyes, and I'd make sure she attended a make-up course so she knew how to apply it properly. (I've taken professional make-up courses, but teenaged rarely listen to what their mothers have to say.) When they're using decent stuff for their skin and know how to apply it well, they can look great. Assuming they want to wear it. Commentary -- supposedly kidding or not -- isn't welcome.

    Also, by the time I was 19, I'd already been living on my own and been self-supporting for two years. I'm pretty sure my dad didn't get to comment on anything to do with my life, let alone my make-up. :wink:

    Um, Dave? How come you're well-versed in the cost of hookers?
  12. Jul 20, 2010 #11


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    My parents told me I looked like crap without makeup and whenever I tried to leave without makeup, they'd stop me and tell me I should go put some on.

    So did my boss, the one time I had serious bronchitis and didn't wear makeup to work. My co-workers that would ask me if I was ill if I didn't do my full makeup, and then my daughters made me wear dark sunglasses if I went out with them and didn't have makeup on.
  13. Jul 20, 2010 #12
    Even I know what a ten-dollar hooker costs. They're a dime a dozen, right?
  14. Jul 20, 2010 #13
    So what you're saying is that you and Dave have exchanged notes, then?
  15. Jul 20, 2010 #14


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    Well - they were all wrong.

    I can appreciate a modest amount of make up, but as far as I'm concerned, it's thoroughly unnecessary.

    Those who 'insist' that make up is a necessity are superficial as far as I'm concerned.
  16. Jul 20, 2010 #15


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    I'm just thankful my 19 year old doesn't over do it. But I'm like you Astronuc; none would be fine with me.

    At least she hasn't went for any piercings. Yet.
  17. Jul 20, 2010 #16
    Of course it's superficial, Astronuc, but -- and especially in our society -- and especially for young girls/women -- it's virtually inescapable. Everywhere you turn you see images telling you what's acceptable in terms of appearance and what's not. It's really, really difficult as a teenage female who's going through hormone storms, who's trying to find her place in the world, to find ways to feel confident. And make-up does that for quite a few young women. That's why I counsel, if they want to wear it, show them how to do it well and properly.

    Plenty of young women (and women in general) feel perfectly comfortable without the stuff. Which is great. Plenty don't, though, and I don't see the harm in an artificial self-esteem boost until they can sort themselves out to the point of being comfortable enough in their own skin to go without make-up. I know it took me a fair number of years to feel good about myself without make-up on, and I appreciate the years that having make-up to wear made me feel as if I'd donned a suit of armour, and I was well armed to face whatever came at me.

    I outgrew it, yes. I have friends who are in their 50s who are only now outgrowing it and feel confident enough to go out without make-up on.

    Is it superficial? Of course it is, because we know what actually matters. Until young people achieve that knowledge and self-comfort and self-possession, though, I see nothing wrong a few props.
  18. Jul 20, 2010 #17


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    If one is referring to glamour magazines and adds for what is takes to be 'attractive' and 'socially acceptable', yes I see those. I actually find them irritating and an eyesore. I would rather not see those images. I generally ignore them, and most commercials, which frankly I see as a thorough waste off effort and resources.

    Maybe I have an advantage in being Aspbergers or high functioning autistic. I just never really cared about the socially acceptable or pop culture stuff. I dressed comfortably the way I wanted to regardless of whether anyone like it or not.

    In addition to make up, I really can't stand perfumes and colognes. They are artificial and irritate my eyes and nose. I much prefer women not wear artifical scents.
  19. Jul 20, 2010 #18
    It's not just the glamour magazines, or advertisements, it's every woman on television, every image of a woman on the Internet, every woman in every music video, every image you see a woman in public she's overtly wearing make-up. Most of the men are too, but it's subtle and designed to smooth imperfections. With women, it's obvious and appears to be -- comes across as -- the standard and the test of beauty.

    I realise that most men don't understand it. And I understand that dads, in particular, don't necessarily understand it about their daughters. And I totally, entirely understand where you're coming from. Especially the dads. I do. Really. I've seen that expression in my father's eyes. I get where you're coming from.

    So for dads, especially, it's not that you thinking we look good without make-up doesn't matter, because it does. But how they feel inside of themselves about themselves takes time to ripen. And make-up helps a lot of young women. So if your daughter or girlfriend or friend or spouse doesn't feel quite right without make-up on, my advice is to not make your commentary about make-up or how they look, even. Just keep reinforcing how great of a person you think they are. Focus on accomplishments. Take the pressure away from appearances.

    A few months ago, while seeing me off at the airport, my father said the most incredible, remarkable thing he's said to me in my whole entire life. He said, "Goodbye, my wonderful, adorable daughter." I'm going to hold onto and treasure that moment forever. Those few words mean more to me than any comment he's ever made about my appearances or lack of comment he's made about anything else. Maybe I'm a mush, but that's what this daughter needed from her dad. I needed to know that he thinks that of me, not that he thinks I look fine without make-up.
  20. Jul 20, 2010 #19


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    Yes. Rotisserie. Only 5 bucks each.:wink:
  21. Jul 20, 2010 #20


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    Yes, dads have a special role to play in developing their daughter's self-image, no doubt about it. And they do it just the way you say, by keeping comments about appearance low-key while praising academics, kindness, sports achievement, etc.

    But I suspect that moms are where the daughters converge to, as far as wearing make-up. I've never worn much, nor has my mother...and now, my daughter wears very little. I know as a young woman I didn't recognize how strong that influence was, but I sure see it now.
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