Saint said:
Les, i believe you're sincere,
I am always in dilemma, i want to do things exceed my capability,
i want to something better than what i already have, is that wrong?
i have many ambitions, but i can't achieve them all, partly due to my situation is not in good stand to materialize them, i am very upset and feel life is no meaning .
No, I don't think it is wrong to want to improve oneself or one's living situation. But possibly the way you are wanting is what's making you unhappy. I too desire to possesses some things I don't have. I also have some things that I am now enjoying, and I have things I'm in the process of acquiring. I'll tell you a story which, although it might not seem like it, does have a point.
I like to cook, and over the last three years I've managed to improve and increase many of my cooking tools. I still have a long list of things I want, mostly the more expensive items. While I save or plan for them, I am fully appreciating what I have.
One almost sacred event my wife and I share is pizza night on Saturday. I've been making pizza for many years, constantly tweaking the recipe, experimenting, and researching how others do it. I watch all the pizza shows on the Food Channel, and I roam websites where they talk about it (pizzamaking.com and encylopizza.com are two great sites).
I've learned how ascorbic acid helps dough rise, about mixing the ingredients for the first dough rise so they end up at about 78 degrees, about the high protein flour most pizza shops use, letting dough rise overnight in an airtight container to increase fermentation, a place to buy vine-ripened tomatoes for sauce that are unblanched (heat damages freshness/sweetness) and without citric acid (makes them sour) . . . and lots more.
I found out pizza dough does best when cooked fast and hot, so I managed to buy a countertop commercial pizza oven (
love it!). I've got a 500 watt mixer for kneading the dough. I discovered the heat retention properties of soapstone and have a great serving stone that keeps the pizza hot while we eat it. I've got a recipe my friends would kill for, but since I won't give it to them, I have them groveling at my feet to make it for them
, and I have my wife at my mercy -- you know, "do what I say or NO PIZZA FOR YOU!" (If you believe that I'll sell you the Goldengate Bridge.)
I've told you this exciting story :zzz: so I could segue to talking about how much fun I've had building and learning all that over the years. I enjoyed experimenting, I enjoyed looking forward to buying better stuff, and I enjoyed what I had too. I'm still looking forward to when I can afford a woodburning oven, but since I can't, I enjoy reading about them.
My point is that you don't have to let your desires make you discontent. If you focus on what you
don't have, and on what you
can't do while you are lusting after what you want, that will make you discontent every time! But if you enjoy want you
do have and what you
can do while still having your plans (realistic I hope), then it is possible to enjoy the journey. Really the idea is to arrange your priorites properly, so the focus is first on doing and achieving and enjoying, rather than on
having first. For me, it is great fun to be so interested in life.
