Why do people have relationships?

In summary: If you mean relationshipt to MEAN monogamous relationship with a partner, then that's a whole other...thing.
  • #1
Pinu7
275
5
Other than sex, children, and legal stuff(if married), of course.
 
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  • #2
I'm guessing you live in a cave.
 
  • #3
JasonRox said:
I'm guessing you live in a cave.

hahahahaha!

nahh but really, they're fun...for awhile ;)
 
  • #4
You have two accounts?
 
  • #5
JasonRox said:
I'm guessing you live in a cave.

I'm thinking the same thing. Why would one not want one?
 
  • #6
27Thousand said:
I'm thinking the same thing. Why would one not want one?

because you don't want any more responsibilities ...
 
  • #7
Pinu7 said:
Other than sex, children, and legal stuff(if married), of course.
LifeofBrian said:
Whatever have the Romans ever done for us, apart from a stable government, aquaducts, roads, wine and a million other wares we now can get hold of??
Or something like that..
 
  • #8
arildno said:
Or something like that..

Nail on the head, IMO.
 
  • #9
I'm sure a relationship makes happy many humans. It might be another reason.
 
  • #10
fluidistic said:
I'm sure a relationship makes happy many humans. It might be another reason.
Fear of being alone and financial reasons are probably near the top. The OP didn't stipulate "healthy relationships".
 
  • #11
Evo said:
Fear of being alone and financial reasons are probably near the top. The OP didn't stipulate "healthy relationships".

ahah yes. I didn't think about that, but you're right on this.
 
  • #12
Pinu7 said:
Other than sex, children, and legal stuff(if married), of course.

Because we are wired that way. Humans are social animals and although one should be careful about talking about "natural" in this context it is certainly true that our brains are "programmed" to look for companionship, and that at a rather basic level (meaning NOT trying to be in a relationship probably requires more involvment from our higher brain functions than being in one).
One might equally well ask why wolves live in packs, or ants in colonies.
 
  • #13
Various cultures have had their own theories on the origin of marriage. One example may lie in a man's need for assurance as to paternity of his children. He might therefore be willing to pay a bride price or provide for a woman in exchange for exclusive sexual access.[21] Legitimacy is the consequence of this transaction rather than its motivation. In Comanche society, married women work harder, lose sexual freedom, and do not seem to obtain any benefit from marriage.[22] But nubile women are a source of jealousy and strife in the tribe, so they are given little choice other than to get married. "In almost all societies, access to women is institutionalized in some way so as to moderate the intensity of this competition."[23] In English common law, a marriage was a voluntary contract by a man and a woman, where by agreement they choose to become husband and wife.[24] Edvard Westermarck proposed that "the institution of marriage has probably developed out of a primeval habit".[25]

something interesting from wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage#cite_ref-20

I don't think there are any particular reasons other than making sure that children are raised well which require equivalent effort from both parties. (I believe there are some animals where both mom and dad put effort in raising the kids while in some only one have to take care.. In some cases, male will kill the children to start new relantionship)
 
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  • #14
rootX said:
In some cases, male will kill the children to start new relantionship)

Well that was helpful.
 
  • #15
GeorginaS said:
Well that was helpful.

http://www.lionresearch.org/current_docs/6.pdf
 
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  • #16
rootX said:
http://www.lionresearch.org/current_docs/6.pdf

I didn't say it wasn't true. It's just not helpful to a discussion about why humans get involved in relationships to tell us that male lions will kill cubs so the female lion can mate again. Are they going to buy a condo together? No? Then? How is this helpful information?
 
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  • #17
GeorginaS said:
I didn't say it wasn't true. It's just not helpful to a discussion about why humans get involved in relationships to tell us that male lions will kill cubs so the female lion can mate again. Are they going to buy a condo together? No? Then? How is this helpful information?

Because forming relationships or living in societies is not unique to the humans only and hence I believe you need to look beyond humans to answer the OP question. Killing cubs is not directly related and I agree.
 
  • #18
Um... you develop relationships whether you like it or not.

You talk to a cashier while buying something. You have a relationship. The relationship is defined to be that you're both relatively strangers to each other but you have met.

My relationship with those on PF are basically defined as online friends.

To not want ANY relationship must imply you want to live in a cave. And to not know the benefits of a relationship must imply you LIVED in a cave.

If you mean relationshipt to MEAN monogamous relationship with a partner, then that's a whole other question!
 
  • #19
JasonRox said:
Um... you develop relationships whether you like it or not.

You talk to a cashier while buying something. You have a relationship. The relationship is defined to be that you're both relatively strangers to each other but you have met.

My relationship with those on PF are basically defined as online friends.

To not want ANY relationship must imply you want to live in a cave. And to not know the benefits of a relationship must imply you LIVED in a cave.

If you mean relationshipt to MEAN monogamous relationship with a partner, then that's a whole other question!


I think OP is talking about marriages or long term relationships as he mentioned children/legal.
 
  • #20
rootX said:
I think OP is talking about marriages or long term relationships as he mentioned children/legal.

You can have children and not be monogamous or even living in the same house as the person you had children with and STILL be in a relationship.

If you're going to discuss whether or not to be in a relationship, we must be clear on what kind of relationship we are talking about. So he's talking about a traditional monogamous relationship where you live together and have kids, and save money on taxes. And do the typical things you see on TV, like Everybody Loves Raymond?

If that's the case, then I have no idea why someone would want that!
 
  • #21
JasonRox said:
You can have children and not be monogamous or even living in the same house as the person you had children with and STILL be in a relationship.

If you're going to discuss whether or not to be in a relationship, we must be clear on what kind of relationship we are talking about. So he's talking about a traditional monogamous relationship where you live together and have kids, and save money on taxes. And do the typical things you see on TV, like Everybody Loves Raymond?

If that's the case, then I have no idea why someone would want that!

Neither me. I cannot do those kind of typical things.
 
  • #22
fluidistic said:
I'm sure a relationship makes happy many humans. It might be another reason.

Evo said:
Fear of being alone and financial reasons are probably near the top. The OP didn't stipulate "healthy relationships".

Unhealthy relationships can make as many humans as unhealthy relationships.

And I guess whichever preference (relationships or no relationships) is most likely to make many humans will wind up being the most common preference.

But it does make one wonder ... which is more likely to make many humans - healthy relationships or unhealthy relationships?
 
  • #23
Evo said:
Fear of being alone and financial reasons are probably near the top. The OP didn't stipulate "healthy relationships".

Has anyone wondered what percent of relationships are really happy and healthy? I would guess it is actually quite low.
 
  • #24
Greg Bernhardt said:
Has anyone wondered what percent of relationships are really happy and healthy? I would guess it is actually quite low.

Emotionally or physically?

Over half of all Americans will have a sexually transmitted disease at some time in their life. http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm

25% of women and 8% of men are raped and/or physically abused by their partner. http://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/181867.pdf (executive summary).

I'm not sure how meaningful those statistics are since most people wind up having more than one relationship in their lifetime. I imagine being involved in at least one unhealthy relationship in a person's lifetime could be pretty common - common enough that recognizing and getting out of unhealthy relationships could be a key skill to learn while young.

I'm not quite sure that a divorce automatically means the relationship was unhealthy - for the same reason that I wouldn't say every girlfriend/boyfriend a person ever had that didn't result in marriage must have been an unhealthy relationship.
 
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  • #25
BobG said:
Emotionally or physically?

Over half of all Americans will have a sexually transmitted disease at some time in their life. http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm

25% of women and 8% of men are raped and/or physically abused by their partner. http://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/181867.pdf (executive summary).

I'm not sure how meaningful those statistics are since most people wind up having more than one relationship in their lifetime. I imagine being involved in at least one unhealthy relationship in a person's lifetime could be pretty common - common enough that recognizing and getting out of unhealthy relationships could be a key skill to learn while young.

I'm not quite sure that a divorce automatically means the relationship was unhealthy - for the same reason that I wouldn't say every girlfriend/boyfriend a person ever had that didn't result in marriage must have been an unhealthy relationship.


My aunt just got divorced. Definitely still healthy. One wants to move in the city and the other in the fields. They split. No argument at all and you can tell. Good for them. Great model for their kids, who are teens right now.

How is having an STD relevant to bad relationships?
 
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  • #26
JasonRox said:
How is having an STD relevant to bad relationships?

The comment was about healthy relationships, not good/bad relationships. I think obtaining a disease from a relationship pretty much automatically qualifies as an unhealthy relationship.

A good/bad relationship might not even be that relevant to healthy/unhealthy relationships since I think how the couple resolve a bad relationship is a better indicator of their emotional health than whether they have a good/bad relationship.
 
  • #27
I don't know why people have relationships, but for myself, I have too many. I was living the life of Tiger, but it all came crashing down. Mistress 3 found out about mistress 5 and that's when the troubles began. The real disaster happened when I was following this nice piece of fluff home. She had all the right curves in all the right places, just the kind I like, if you catch my drift. Imagine my chagrin to find out it was my wife. I'm down to one relationship for the duration.
 
  • #28
jimmysnyder said:
I don't know why people have relationships, but for myself, I have too many. I was living the life of Tiger, but it all came crashing down. Mistress 3 found out about mistress 5 and that's when the troubles began. The real disaster happened when I was following this nice piece of fluff home. She had all the right curves in all the right places, just the kind I like, if you catch my drift. Imagine my chagrin to find out it was my wife. I'm down to one relationship for the duration.

This is set in the '50's, right? Next, a corpse is discovered and Jimmy spends the rest of the book tracking down the killer to clear his name.
 
  • #29
BobG said:
The comment was about healthy relationships, not good/bad relationships. I think obtaining a disease from a relationship pretty much automatically qualifies as an unhealthy relationship.

A good/bad relationship might not even be that relevant to healthy/unhealthy relationships since I think how the couple resolve a bad relationship is a better indicator of their emotional health than whether they have a good/bad relationship.

I don't think that qualifies as unhealthy either. If so, then someone who contracts the flu from their partner should be considered unhealthy as well. Most STD's are curable, and often STD are acquired by just about anyone and has no relevance to promiscuity.

Just about anyone can be carrying an STD from a past partner and not even know it, and enter in a new one and have the unfortunate be discovered. That doesn't qualify as unhealthy in my books at all. Sometimes symptoms won't show until 5 years into a great marriage. Seriously, to say STD imply unhealthy is rather shallow in my opinion.
 
  • #30
That's a valid point.

A person could get tested once a year at their annual doctor's visit, though. Going years without knowing they have a STD is a sign of an unhealthy lifestyle, or at least a sign they don't pay much attention to their health (although how many younger people without health insurance actually get physicals).

It's not unreasonable to expect a partner to have gotten themselves tested in between relationships, though.
 
  • #31
BobG said:
That's a valid point.

A person could get tested once a year at their annual doctor's visit, though. Going years without knowing they have a STD is a sign of an unhealthy lifestyle, or at least a sign they don't pay much attention to their health (although how many younger people without health insurance actually get physicals).

It's not unreasonable to expect a partner to have gotten themselves tested in between relationships, though.

Again, getting tested DOES NOT imply you will know if have an STD. There are STD's that are NOT detectable until you symptoms, and some take years. Some never come.

Yes, their are "tests" for everything, but if you ask a doctor, he will say not all of them are conclusive.

Do you even know anything about STD's to even "jump the gun" and say you have an unhealthy lifestyle if you have one for over a year, or because transmitted it to someone, or received implies unhealthy relationship?

Some STD's are not even originally STD's and can "by accident" become an STD, for example herpes.

You're going pretty far to protect your view, but it fails my friend. It fails. It is shallow.

And once again, unhealthy lifestyle does not imply unhealthy relationship.

Note: Using an iPod demonstrates unhealthy lifestyle in my books.

http://www.herpesresourcecenter.com/mvf.html

You still haven't defended your point using anything valid. According to that link, herpes testing isn't even part of the regular screening. So, are you saying we should get TESTED for everything. So that means even if we show no risks of the long list of infections and disease, even those that are not STD's, we should get tested so that we are considered healthy lifestyle? I doubt you're even doing that. Probably getting the standard tests and that's it. And you seem to have implied unhealthy lifestyle implies unhealthy relationship with another. So that means you're not in a healthy relationship?

You got a full physical? Last time I heard, that doesn't test for schizophrenia and many other things.
 
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  • #32
People have relationships because they enjoy companionship and fear dying alone.
 
  • #33
Chronos said:
People have relationships because they enjoy companionship and fear dying alone.

Or because they enjoy companionship and fear living alone.

The only part of dying alone that scares me is if no one knew I was dead and no one fed my dog. That would be pretty depressing to have your own poor, starving dog eat you so it could survive just a few more days.
 
  • #34
BobG said:
Or because they enjoy companionship and fear living alone.

The only part of dying alone that scares me is if no one knew I was dead and no one fed my dog. That would be pretty depressing to have your own poor, starving dog eat you so it could survive just a few more days.

I think when people say dying alone, what they mean is growing old alone.
 
  • #35
Chronos said:
People have relationships because they enjoy companionship and fear dying alone.
I enjoy companionship, and I wouldn't mind dying alone. In fact, I would prefer to die alone some place where the vultures can clean up the remains, otherwise I'd prefer to set my own pyre.
 

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